Best Legalese Poems

I, henceforth, known as the respirer, do
solemnly swear hereafter, to take you in,
in sufficient quantities to ensure 
continuation of the flesh's animation.

I additionally, do accede my heretofore,
essential need of your estimable service, 
and express my desire to continue our 
mutually beneficial, ok, parasitic, relationship

Being, as...

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Rules and regulations bring economic strangulation
   Policies and procedures serve the whims of weak leaders

Statutes and ordinances pave the road to subordinance  
   Hypotheses and theories render creativity weary

Laws and by-laws stick fast in your craw
   Custom and...

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There once was a clumsy attorney
Who wanted to go on a journey
     But lacking some grace
     He fell on his face
And soon was stretched out on a gurney.

He’d wanted to taste the exotic
But work made his life...

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Andrew was a wealthy lawyer's son 
Began each day with his morning runs
Circumstantial evidence
Disguised as benevolence 
Etches daily naughty legal puns



AP: 3rd place 2022

Submitted on January 9, 2019 for contest LIMERICK II sponsored by JOSEPH MAY  -  RANKED 4TH...

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