Best Legalese Poems

...Layli Long Soldier speaks ...
Legalese: with lots of "Whereas"

Her Lakota people make other news in praying -
She really believes in prayer as resistance

Yes, "Indians" are so very different
......

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...Lawyers supply inept legalese.
One while defending my Pekinese,
went into a stupor,
made one fatal blooper.
Stripped in front of the judge ridding fleas.
 
© Aug 23 2010 For Carolyn’s “Lawyer” ......

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...I, henceforth, known as the respirer, do
solemnly swear hereafter, to take you in,
in sufficient quantities to ensure 
continuation of the flesh's animation.

I additionally, do accede my heretofore,......

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...Physicians
magicians 
who work wonders with a pill.
They diagnose,
prescribe the dose,
and then you get the bill.

Attorneys
journey
to the law books for a clue.
to file a brief
or sue for......

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...Rules and regulations bring economic strangulation
   Policies and procedures serve the whims of weak leaders

Statutes and ordinances pave the road to subordinance  
   Hypotheses and theories r......

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...There once was a clumsy attorney
Who wanted to go on a journey
     But lacking some grace
     He fell on his face
And soon was stretched out on a gurney.

He’d wanted to taste the exotic
But......

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...The wish of growing boy it seems
Can never come true fast enough,
But then it does and yet somehow
You find yourself still wondering,
Amazed to find you hold the wheel.
But thoughts are gone you......

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...Andrew was a wealthy lawyer's son 
Began each day with his morning runs
Circumstantial evidence
Disguised as benevolence 
Etches daily naughty legal puns



AP: 3rd place 2022

Submitted on......

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...The Court Historians'
official dictums
of special reports
and minor fiction from
deep in the archives
where they've been
resting with other lies
besides these, and other
generally accepted de......

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...Can ‘Religious’ folk claim a connection with God
who refuse to condemn the cops’ stopping of those
(who refuse to obey), who retreat from police
at a walk (not a run), and get shot in the back
fo......

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...
We all willingly give them the power 
every time we turn-on our TVs 
and absorb all their well-scripted comments 
entertained by disguised legalese 

Then we buy and we use all their products
......

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...I'm sick of mean minded people 
who prey on the weak and the old. 
Who use every rip-off trick in the book 
trying to turn crap into gold. 
They target the vulnerable in society, 
with their sca......

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...LIFE IN A SUITCASE

Crawling in the loft today, I found the suitcase.
Through a cobweb curtain, beneath a patina of dust
It lay.
Just where it’s lain for twenty years, full of m......

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...A yellow notice on the gate with bold letterhead states
Noxious Weed Commission and then, in smaller red print, declares: 
Demand Notice to Remove Thistle.

This notice is a sudden smack behind t......

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...OLD AND NEW 2 : BOARDROOM 


Jackal preyed on dimpled dolls
smiling gold on slender wrist
nosing down a slippery path
scowling schoolboy promoted
beyond his mediocre castle


Mammals sat on......

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