Best Leg Poems
Peg-Leg Pete the Pirate was a very evil man,
He used to eat his dinner from a filthy frying pan,
And when he’s finished eating he’d play “catch me if you can”
With his desperado first-mate known as Dirty Deadeye Dan.
Now Dan was quite a ladies man, but also fond of booze,
In bars and streets and hotels he liked to drink and cruise,
He used to taunt old-Peg Leg Pete by dragging up old news,
Like Pete had only ever needed half a pair of shoes.
One day Pete had quite enough and things got pretty scary,
Confronting Dirty Deadeye Dan whose mood was always lairy,
A sudden hush fell on the room when Pete clumped in the bar
And Dan called out: “Hey, Peg-Leg, hop on over, have a jar.”
Peg-Leg Pete the Pirate clasped the pistol on his hip
And snarled at Dirty Deadeye Dan: “Enough of your damn lip.”
The floozy sat upon Dan’s lap was dumped onto the floor
And Dan rose to his feet and hissed: “You’d best limp out the door.”
Across the sawdust, blood-stained floor they faced each other down,
And you could hear a pin drop from the other side of town,
Eyes were locked and fingers twitched and seconds seemed like days
The tension burned unbearably and shimmered in the haze.
Both men drew their pistols and both men fired fast,
Flame spat from the barrels with the bullets roaring past,
But neither man could aim for squat and when their guns were done
They’d killed two people in the bar but they weren’t either one.
The barman Blind-man Billy Bragg and the floozy Scar-Faced Sue
Lay dead as dead as doornails, as doornails tend to do,
And through the pall of gun-smoke and the mist of rum and beer
Deadeye Dan called out to Pete: “We’d best get out of here.”
And so they did, they fled the bar, and vanished in the night,
Back to their ship, The Crippled Cock, and sailed on out of sight,
Never to return to shore, and never seen again,
The rumour is they sank and drowned just off the Spanish Main.
The moral of the story is that when you draw a gun,
Be prepared to end your days always on the run,
“Or in your case, always on the limp,” said Dirty Deadeye Dan
To Peg-Leg Pete the Pirate, that very evil man.
Willy the one legged centipede
Often would wish that he could be freed
He should be so speedy and whizzing about
But not with his one little leg sticking out
He’d sit in the street with an upturned hat
And people would throw lots of money in that
He wished he was ‘full’ but was so incomplete
For with just one leg he must beg in the street
One freezing day in the middle of winter
A beetle passed by and said, Wow, that’s some splinter
The centipede told him, That splinter’s my leg
I only have one and so I have to beg
I’m sorry, said Beetle, that splinter is wood
I could pull it out and I think that I should
Pulling the splinter made Centipede squirm
But that’s how he found out he’s really a worm
Because he's one less leg
They bullied him for being crippled
They picked on him daily
They called him cruel names
... it hurts!
Because he's one less leg
They underestimated him
They looked down on him
They saw him as weak
... it's sad
Because he's one less leg
He's got no friends
He's got no girlfriend
He's got nowhere to socialize
... it's lonesome!
But in all that he went thru
The abuse and shame they put him thru
He forgave them all
... with heart and soul!
Not because he needed their friendships
Not because he wanted to have a girlfriend
Not because he needed a place to hang out
But...
because he knew Jesus went thru the same thing
And he wants to save them from what they do not know was wrong
He gave them a chance to realize
He proved them love is stronger than hate
... God is good!
And in the end shame was reversed and they are the ones begging for his forgiveness
... to forgive is to love!
Smile
Akkina R Downing
1-10-17
There’s a part of you
I cannot see or touch.
In the dark, alone, I know
every curve of your body.
I could sculpt you from memory.
Each detail vivid in
my mind’s eye.
The baby nail on your baby toe.
This neck that takes to kissing.
I know the moment when your
hip becomes belly.
Just there.
But there’s a part of you I
cannot see or touch. Hidden, I want to
know it all the more.
Behind your eyes, inside
your heart, that essential
you, separate from this
fragile tissue hanging, draped, over bone.
I watch you move when
you’re not looking.
Standing, your toes curling.
Twisting the end of your hair while thinking.
Asleep, I know your breathing.
You hold the morning cup like a chalice.
Little lines around your eyes deepen sometimes.
These things are pieces of a whole I ache to know.
This elephant leg obscured by sightless eyes can
be anything. Groping blindly toward
the totality of you, revealed in fits and starts.
This life of mine no longer turned inward.
Every day I have new discoveries to make.
Rudolph always loved it when Christmas came
because he got to lead dear Santa’s sleigh.
His rosy nose had brought him lots of fame
because in fog, Rudolph’s nose shone the way.
A week before dear Santa’s yearly trip,
the reindeer all were sliding down a hill.
Too eagerly, dear Rudolph let it rip
and broke his front leg when he took a spill.
But Santa was prepared for such a thing.
A fog light he had purchased weeks ago,
so Christmas Eve, with a ring-a-ling-a-ling,
the reindeer flew with ease through fog and snow.
The Daddy Long Legs crawled into my tea.
Looked up and smiled, coyly at me.
Invited his wife and his offspring, all three.
They were having the best time, I truly could see.
So I decided to make them a big bowl of tea.
I put in sugar and lemons, I cut them delicately.
I had Daddy Long Legs invite relatives to this magnificent tea.
They swam and they floated, with their faces to me.
They turned this big bowl into a Long Leg’s Resort.
They named me the Queen, and we held Daddy Long Legs Court.
Pretty soon I had to move them to a big pool in my back yard.
Being the ruler of Long Leg’s is surprisingly hard!
Broken leg=putting down three and carrying one=also equals new math
(Daffy definition)
Having leg pain
May mean legs not getting
Proper blood flow
Called Peripheral Arterial Disease (PAD)
What is PAD
With PAD arteries that carry blood to your legs
Feet or arms clogged with fats, others
Can slow or even stop blood flow
Common sign of PAD leg pain or cramping
Pain comes when you move
As you Walk, climb stairs or exercise
May go away when you rest
Treating PAD
Healthy lifestyle can help
Provider may ask you to
Get regular exercise
Eat a heart healthy diet
Quit smoking
Important to control problems
Like
High Blood Pressure
Unhealthy cholesterol
Sometimes medicine
Surgery is needed for PAD
4142013
Dancing on one leg,
On one leg we live with agony.
Agony shapes our wobbly footsteps.
Footsteps made into inaudible power.
Power blossoms through a series of gaffes.
Gaffes in life we must encounter.
Encounter the collapse,
Collapse that let us instill how to soar
Soar through tornadoes.
Tornadoes that hover steadiness
Steadiness leading to respire hesitation.
Hesitation converts into intensity.
Intensity that coals irrepressible souls.
Souls molded by cracks
Cracks that find cadence in the obscure.
Obscure leads to dawn
Dawn still pirouetting on one leg
Poem by N. Mugisho
>It is a well-known fact in the theatre world. Telling someone to break a leg before they go on stage is considered good luck. I certainly do not think it should be. It’s funny how you never appreciate how people suffer with an injury or ailment unless you experience it yourself, am I right or not?
Break a leg! Lucky or not?
Another night, I have of no sleep.
Comfort, I just cannot seek.
If only my leg did not pain me so.
I am sure to sleep, my brain cell would go.
Why is it when you hurt somewhere?
The pain always registers elsewhere!
I mean. Break a bone in your leg, you see.
No weight can it bear agree?
Then in your head, more pain flows
Why? When that’s not hurt you know!
It is not really blinking fair.
If leg is bad, pain should stay there.
Not wander up to my brain cell.
No wonder I don’t feel blinking well.
Two places now on blinking fire.
I might as well, now to bed retire.
But if I do, will I be able to sleep?
As all over my body, my pain does creep
And bless, no, I cannot blinking sleep.
I wrote this poem, ten days ago.
When I did feel a little bit low.
Still, my pen’s ink did flow.
And this is what it wrote you know.
Now I wear a Moon Boot, it’s true.
It firms my leg, I’m telling you.
And I can walk with crutches two.
As that’s what I was told to do.
Another five weeks to go.
Then I might shed this Moon Boot you know .
But then, will I from Earth flow.
As Moon Boots are quite heavy, you know.
And that’s the lot from me today.
As this is all I want to say.
About that medical Moon Boot.
Supporting my broken foot today.<
“Aye, me maties, ‘tis a stormy sea dis day
Shiver me timbers, let’s make way for da bay”
But as Peg Leg Pete slowly turned ’is ship ‘round
A great beauty on da rocks was t' be found
“We’ll save ye, lassie,” 'e cried t' da girl
Once rescued, 'e took ‘er below fer a whirl
Crew listened as Pete’s peg on da ship’s hull beat
All steamed ‘twas da cabin, a-swirl in da heat
“Argh, men, let’s show ‘im,” grunted one jealous mate
Months asea dey’d sailed wit nary one date
So when Pete thumped ‘is way back t' da deck
'e found himself aboard a sinking wreck
“Blasted mutiny,” Pete screamed, den caught sight
O' da rum-soaked crew a-rowin’ in dim light
Aboard thar rowboat ‘twas Pete’s prized treasure chest
‘is ire was raised, as ye might 'ave guessed
Seeing Polly Parrot had left da ship too
‘Tis a lesson in dis, a sad one but true
Pirates who choose t' make love t' a beauty
Oft’ find thar mates abscond wit thar looty
CHRISTMAS PORK
I'd broken down beside the highway; my poor old car's just died,
and when I lifted up the bonnet, you know I could have cried.
It’s a busted water hose, and of course I don't have a spare,
so I’m stuck here with my bonnet up, and no houses anywhere.
What do I do! do I leave my car; hitch-hike to get the part,
or wait for someone to come along, and let that be the start.
My decision was made up for me; a bloke pulled up behind,
and introduced himself as Eric, before - "What did you find?"
"Busted hose" Eric chuckled. "You better hop in the car with me,
I'll have one somewhere in my shed, come on we'll go and see".
He drove off the highway down a track, that took us to Eric's door,
I never got a word in … Eric talked and talked then talked some more.
I thought I'd discovered 'Noah's Ark', when he pulled up the car.
Animals of all descriptions, ran to us from near and far,
cattle, sheep, horses; some geese; chooks and a dog sat up to beg,
two donkeys with some goats, and a pig which had a wooden leg.
Every animal is tame, and everyone has got a name,
and every one expects a pat; then I needed Eric to explain.
"What happened to your little pig that has got a wooden leg?"
"Poor old Doris, We-e-ll, she's lucky", then, this is what Eric said.
“For Christmas I'd just killed the chooks, took 'em inside to the wife”.
She said “What about the leg of pork?” then she handed me the knife.
Doris ran to me with trusting eyes; right then I knew somehow,
as I placed the knife against her throat, I couldn’t kill this sow".
1. The green light shines from above
ready to move, you stand erect.
2. Blood rush is your dialect
the dark tunnel is the only choice
of your venue for your project.
3. You dream of going to and fro
as if there's something to inspect
claiming the territory and going faster
with no respect.
4. Acting as if you're the only one
who has something to collect.
Why so subjected to this Life's aspect?
5. I always tell you
to wait for me to first connect
and stop being proud and overconfident.
6. A little humility
you need to inject
cos you're not the only object in this sect.
7. The heart in this situation
has more effect
so don't be in a hurry to affect
or else you'll face an abject reject.
8. Wait for your gate keeper
the time deem fit, she'll select
be understanding too,
her esteem, she wants to protect.
9. When the time is right,
it'll be perfect
bad manners, I don't want to detect.
10. Don't be desperate and aggressive
like a typical insect
for the main time stay and reflect
while you keep warm behind the zip.
A dog with a missing leg
Knocked down by a driver
Drove at dog speed
And barked away
We have stopped to see
A group of people, too
The dog with a missing leg
And smoke from nearby hut
The municipal is here
Health officer with a spade
Staring at the carcass
And calling for backup
The cop's siren is here
Looking around curiously
I wonder why, for a dog
And bullet in the barrels
A man looks on and yawns
A sharp kitchen knife in hand
He looks anxious
And prays for a miracle
A newsman looks on
Been here for long
A canon camera at hand
He waits for his time
The dog with a missing leg
Has brought us together
Nobody speaks but we talk
There is tension in the air
No rules of engagement
Someone is angry, another one hungry
Someone is joking, another one hoping
we are here on our terms
No one had seen Rudolf for weeks
He was wanted via loudspeakers and flyers
"This is the moment where everything changes", Santa Claus said
Christmas Eve was approaching, there was nothing more to do
It came news from the University Hospital of Northern Norway
Poor Rudolf, lay for three weeks with a broken leg
Swelling and loss of movement - it was just hopeless
The plaster cast was heavy - he couldn't fly home
Rudolf was sent home by air ambulance, in a comfortable bed
On Christmas Eve he sat in the sleigh together with Santa Claus
Even with a broken leg he was able to overcome the obstacle
Rudolf's red nose has become a symbol of Christmas for everyone