Best Laziest Poems
Me: Since Samhain I have been chatting with Satan on Skype..On this date he celebrates his fall from grace..
Satan: Thank you Ken..You look marvelous today..What is your routine? You haven't aged in years...Is it diet and gym, the ladies and your erotic poetry?
Me: You are way too kind..(blushing)
Satan: Really, I enjoy your sense of eroticism, you have a fondness for the ladies I see..You should read "Justine" by my friend the Marquis de Sade..In order to know virtue, we must first acquaint ourselves with vice...
Me: Are you saying it is only through pain one can arrive at pleasure?
Satan: I'm saying you are unhappy because you desire things that cannot be..That's what desire IS, the need for what we cannot have..It's called greed...
Me: I have nothing to fear here..
Satan: Well Ken, there's always the truth..Maybe peace is acquired by the currency of loss..You are in love with perception..I have many friends here in hell with me you may have heard of, Anton Lavey, Aleister Crowley, Adolf Hitler among others..You should meet them..
Me: No thank you, I prefer to "Fear and Tremble" like Kierkegaard..I was taught your greatest truth was convincing the world there was only only one of you..
Satan: You know God loves you..
Me: Is that why you take interest?
Satan: You seek a measure of comfort from Women..Don't you know that love is the laziest theory for the meaning of life?
Me: But was not Faust saved in the end by the love of a woman?
Satan: I will not elaborate on your misconceptions..
Me: I'm just an ordinary human being with flesh, blood and bones..Nothing hard to decipher.. I wish for women and have needs..
Satan: They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions..Charming saying really..I say it is paved with intriguing questions...
Me: It is late, I have to go Mr. Satan...What time is it?
Satan: How much time do you need?
Me: No thanks..lol I have to go....
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
It is the laziest of all creatures,
It could eat and eat filet all the day long.
Investigative eyes is a feature,
And it will sing to you its forlorn song.
It will avoid you like the plague by day,
Skulking, running, bounding, from room to room.
By night it searches through the halls for its prey,
The hunted will meet its impending doom.
The whisper of whiskers against the door,
Tip-toe, pitter-patter, sneakily creeps.
All at once bounding across the floor,
Whoosh goes the paw across the mouse hole deep.
“Drat!” says the cat, missed the mark once again,
Once more the mouse hunt will have to begin.
BIRDS
B reathless each day the winged ones burst and unite into the twilight frieze--
I s there a more delicate touch to the sight than the songbirds as they take to the sky?
R eveling while entwined with the tailwinds-- delighting the indigo breeze,
D ashing on the last rays of sun to nip the laziest mosquito on the fly --
S ong of the satisfied sung—they fade into the welcoming night bosom of the trees.
Victoria Anderson-Throop ©
12-21-12
A swarm of mosquitoes there was
Of different ethnic origin, language and culture.
Aedes, anopheles, culex and others
Some fragile, some agile and some avaricious,
The anopheles was the most fragile but avaricious.
This human, they set eyes on,
She was in possession of everything they needed
And in want of nothing.
So because of her possessions, they attacked her
And she being weak, could do nothing to defend herself.
And so with their proboscis, they sucked her blood,
For many a year, she was continuously being sucked.
As she was being sucked, so was she being bitten,
Some bites were gentle, others, excruciating.
But with God on her side, she stood on her feet.
The wind of change gently blew some mosquitoes away
Others clung tight, for they were desperate
But the human started agitating for her freedom
So the remaining mosquitoes reluctantly left.
But alas!!!! She has been sucked semi dry
She started labouring to regain herself back
Just as the lazy anopheles mosquitoe came back
As the other mosquitoes went and continued their lives,
The anopheles discovered it couldn’t survive alone
So it came back through lies and deceit to suck more blood
And from that same human, it continued sucking blood,
It will come as if to make peace
Between the body parts; but that’s a pretext.
It truly came for blood and more blood
The anopheles mosquitoe knows it can’t live without the blood
But it can never accept that fact
Because of its dirty pride.
It is the laziest of all the mosquitoes
Because it depends solely on the human
If the human doesn’t open her eyes
And with zeal, fight back,
The anopheles will suck her with no mercy.
NO HUMAN, NO ANOPHELES MOSQUITOE
NO AFRICA, NO FRANCE
the day is trivial
the night is tranquil.
all critters crawl out
of corners in
the dark
awake is being alive,
solitude is harmonious.
I woke my dog up, he stared up with
the laziest eyes, fighting to keep them
open
like he might miss something.
all the freaks poke around
at night
life is ample,
even when I am
alone,
in a room
or crowded in a bar
insomnia slithers
through your spine,
just laying
motionless.
with a circus playing
behind the curtain,
so deceiving to be a
puritan
to the religion of money
just give me a couch,
...maybe a few books.
and paper to portray
my mind
Have you heard about that flirt Nellie?
Why, sure – she’s having an affair with the cook at the deli!
Have you heard about that slacker Bob?
Uh-huh – he got fired because he was the laziest guy on the job!
(Laughter)
Have you seen Mrs Miller’s kitty?
Oh, my – it’s the ugliest cat in the city!
Have you seen the new lifeguard Dan?
Of course – there’s nothing on Earth faker than his fake tan!
(Muffled giggles)
Do you know that guy with the nose ring, Shawn?
Yes – he’s dating that girl with tattoos, Dawn!
Do you know about Dawn?
Sure – she dumped her fiancé to be with Shawn!
(Disgusted grunts)
Where there are women, there is gossip.
As a person, as a man, I cannot tolerate them anymore.
By the way, have you heard about Ella, Beth and Call?
Well, I’m going to fire them all!
A bee’s firmly under my bonnet
I detest each Shakespearean sonnet
And any forced rhyme
To me is a crime
I’ve read them and I want to ‘vomet’
I truly don’t like triolet
The laziest form you can bet
Repeat one line thrice
Another line twice
They’re boring, and not an asset!
Some twaddle is written in rhyme
I’ve witnessed a poetic crime
I don’t get it one bit -
(Add a letter to hit)
Though the poet thinks its sublime
The limerick’s my chosen form
Strict syllable count, I’ll conform
Some themes are not pretty
I think they are witty
And humour for me is the norm
I was not born with name
My hand writes poem without theme
A novel without a tittle
A play without any character
A letter without address
A film without action
This is a free style
I was born with computer
where we write as it please us
A poem without stanza
A novel with no sentence
A play without scene
A letter with no message
A film without visual
I am not Shakespeare
you will never read in meter
I am not Wordworth
you will never hear rhyme
I am not John Donne
you cant get love and religious themes
I am a modern poet
you will get nonsense
I am the best bard
that enjoys excess licence
Any sentence i put on paper
should be call a proverb.
I am the laziest poet
that write fallacy in feeling
I will die with no legacy
I will never dream of nobel prize
nor will ANA award comes into my mind
My arts are for only This century
no one will remember my name
This is a free-style.
Green and red apples
flowers in a ruby vase
Hues shout in stillness
and sweetest blooms, richest red
capture the laziest eye.
Vibrant explosions
in the hushed art museum
where the colors dream
Life frozen in a moment
cause red hearts to beat faster!
"Writin' with no rhyme is like
peanut butter without jelly."
Livin' life with your shoes on
means your feet get damp and smelly.
Workin' without A/C and
you got a melted choc'lit bar.
Puttin' her in the freezer,
somehow don't get her back to par.
Underneath our back porch lies
the laziest dog on God's green earth.
Nothin' like a dog that hides
unless she's givin' birth.
Reason A. Poteet
The first two lines are from my own experience. The rest
is based on the character, Jase Robertson from Duck Dynasty
The art of saying what cannot be
………………………………………..for Harriet Monroe
… said
………………or need not be
What's the difference if you call tinnitus or l'acouphène a 'tintement, a 'buzzing', a 'chuintement', a 'whistling', or pure sounds of music : it is still not stilled in him who lies still.
……………………… he left his spectacles on a narrow ledge
and pulled the lever
………….to let the trough down
slopping mélange of cement paint and the sneeze of bird droppings carried by swirling winds
… did he fear his glasses would come
off
……… or was it just the fear of mélange slurp on his glasses
… a near-full trough wobbled with the first jerk of the pulley
… a treacle of a drop streaked thick
chased by a heart-shaped losange
…………… long before the splash hit the ground
he thought of whom he might excise
………………. from his last will and testament
with a vengeful codicil
……………………….. the greediest
………………………........... the laziest
or the great spenders
he might not have thought it important
but was it the moment his foot caught
the snake coils of a rope high
on the scaffolding
…………… did he think he heard a saffron-robed monk
knock the tool-box down in haste
a faux pas he felt was not to his taste
……………….. at least at that very moment
still he let himself be led
…………………………. half-blind into
realms not so bizarre
………………………… after all
with only the colliding tinnitus
…………… reverbrating in his ears
What would anyone think
if he or she would come upon his eyeless specs :
" … best to leave said or unheard things alone… "
© T. Wignesan - Paris, July 23, 2018
computers have
no children to feed
or rent to pay
or place to sleep
machines don't buy food
or wear clothes
or go to concerts or plays
i've never seen an invention
go on vacation
or put money in a church
metal and wood
they use to help us work
what happened to the flow
of life giving blood of our world
is it somewhere in a bank
somewhere in gold
the laziest thing on earth
metal and cold
no feelings about christmas
or people that's cold
value? all it is, is a number
it's not feeding anyone
but taking us under
if the gold don't start moving
we'll have a communist revolt
kill all the rich men
and take their gold
their machines
their inventions
their contracts
their polititions
and their souls
to places the sun don't shine
Would you like to know what resides beyond the deformity of our perceptions if there is anything? Just what lies beyond those wishful embellishments emptiness perhaps nothingness if such is this
idea tempts like sugar many of the “intellectual” nothingness after the
last heartbeat a candle blown and the flame simply gone. But it is an answer of the laziest sort a rejection of possibilities of endless natures placing a dot
at
the end of a sentence which could continue and bloom into the most wonderful stories? They
like to say that imagination has nothing to do with truth (as if they knew all the mysteries of our minds) James Fowler – and others – have opinions of a more stimulating kind I say open up your
heart for there is much more beyond of what we’ve created in churches and temples even greater
Love
and imagination can be just the right door but there is and there will be
even more just
Stand
still and standing look and looking think and feel the voice that speaks through everything let it bring the freshness and vision of what there is to know and then in a brand new humbleness gently bow
your head
to all the powers which reside on the other side of the wall which divides
Human intellect from wisdom
In this craziest time
in mid summer,
Let’s say…
(Owl, the craziest,
laziest, the oldest,
begins his sonorous hoot;
the others: old, young, men
and women,
with their left palm
on their chest, repeat.)
Let’s say high,
to Mother Earth’s
all sons and daughters,
whose existence
we didn't see
(for we do our ward
rounds only at night),
we didn’t care,
we couldn’t respect --
(the word sounds
so sonorous, ambiguous)
Let’s say high,
kneeling down,
weeping, lamenting,
waving
green flags,
(the emblem of peace)
praying …
“Give us,
just one chance more
to learn and live”.
Let’s say high,
pray and pledge,
palm on our lungs,
kneeling down.
Let’s say
high and loud,
“Allow us to live
as tenants, at least”.
*A 2nd Place in the following contest (judged on Sept. 26, 2020)
Chosen theme: Craziest time in...
Word count: 122 words
Aug. 21, 2020
Craziest Time At The Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Caren Krutsinger
The enormously fluffy green-eyed cat loved tonight better than others.
She would sit silently watching the trick-or-treaters and their mothers.
Sometimes to scare a little human, she would open her laziest eye.
And stare them into scared silence, sometimes summoning a tiny sigh.
They would be mesmerized by her mystical power, and keep it quiet.
If you are not a magical fluffy green-eyed cat, you dare not try it.
She sits at the far side of the porch, away from jack-o-lantern’s light.
Scaring tiny children into stupefied silence on Halloween night.
I know about this cat, for I was one of those children she used to scare.
But when I got older, I became a witch, and rode a broom in the air.
The old witch died. Because I had impressed her, she left me this cat.
She is all about Halloween, appearing every year next to my witch hat.