Best Kip Poems
Too little
too late
God said to me
in this dream I had about fate
So I asked him
what did he expect,
A goody two shoes
a prophet
a saint
to be something I ain’t
Not at all he said
I want to be entertained
Eternity is boring
mostly people snoring
especially at night
and during the day on occasion
Look god! I walk around an
Amazon warehouse all day
pigeon-holing tat
picking this and that
How am I supposed to amuse you
Well I do enjoy you
breaking stuff on purpose
sabotaging the line
Bunking off for a smoke
going to the toilet
and drinking erm… doing coke
Ok hands up!
I admit
I’m a total chancer
and do stuff I shouldn’t
But it’s alright isn’t it
that Amazon place is full of s-hit
Yes it is a terrible kip
but more fun when you entertain
Like in your last job
listening to you lie
not taking the blame
asking me to help out
In your moment of doubt
All that stuff you stole
and barely got away with
on the whole
That was quite funny!
Oh the (paper and plastic) I gathered,
before selling it to the highest bidder
Throwing expensive stock out in the trash
The owner was a bastard
all things considered
a miserly swine
But nevermind
Thanks!
I did need a dig out that time
Hey! remember when I was aged about 7
and was told my pal went to heaven
Why did it happen
A year later walking to school with another kid
he was only 8
And that nut-job attacked us with a hammer
Put a hole in my friends head
The blood pumped in fountains of red
I thought he was dead
All the gore I’ve seen
witnessed a killing at 18
Trying to hold down an abattoir job in between
Yes! Life ain’t pretty by design
sometimes the stars just won’t align
Others times they go nova
and leave black holes behind
still you’ll never really understand
The powers in command
So how about this poem
Will it see me home
Does it amuse you
are we cool?
You’re still alive aren’t you!
By
David Kavanagh
She is super, she says. After I leave there, I feel great!
This is my friend Louise who is trying to convince me to sign up for a massage.
I suspect if she gets a friend to sign up, she will win a pony or something.
I had a massage once, I say. The woman was rough. I was screaming in agony.
Kip is not like that, she says. She is wonderful! You would love her massages.
She put her thumb out on my back, I tell her. From pressing too hard.
Kip is gentle, she says. Really gentle.
You would have to kill me and drag my dead body to her table, I reply in the loveliest way.
I am not kidding, she says. She makes me feel great. Do you want me to make you an appointment?
I look at the bag of candy I am eating. Only 65 calories for a mini-Almond joy, I say. Not bad.
She looks up from her vegetable burger. Only 65 calories for what?
An Almond joy.
She takes another bite of her flat ugly unappetizing vegetable burger. Back to my masseuse, she says.
I really would like to make an appointment for you.
I would rather jump off a cliff into a vat of wild boars who have not had lunch, I say.
She really is terrific, Louise says. You owe it to yourself to try it.
I owe it to myself to find a different lunch partner is what I am thinking.
...Hoender - Afrikaans, Pulë - Albanian, ???? - Arabic, ?????? - Belarusian, ???? - Bulgarian,
Pollastre - Catalan, ? - Chinese (Simplified), ? - Chinese (Traditional), Piletina - Croatian,
Kurecí - Czech, Kylling - Danish, Kip - Dutch, Kanaliha - Estonian, Manok - Filipino,
Kana - Finnish, Galiña - Galician, ??t?p???? - Greek, ??? - Hebrew, ???? - Hindi, Csirke -
Hungarian, Kjúklingur - Icelandic, Ayam - Indonesian, Sicín - Irish, ?? - Japanese,
??? - Korean, Calis - Latvian, Vištiena - Lithuanian, ??????? - Macedonian,
Ayam - Malay, Kylling - Norwegian, ???? - Persian, Kurczak - Polish, Pui - Romanian,
?????? - Russian, ???????? - Serbian, Kuracie - Slovak, Kuku - Swahili, Kyckling - Swedish,
??? - Thai, Tavuk - Turkish, ????? - Ukrainian, Gà - Vietnamese, Cyw Iâr - Welsh,
????? - Yiddish, Huhn - German, Frango - Portuguese, Poulet - French, Pollo - Italian,
Pollo - Spanish, Chicken - Maltese, Chicken - Slovenian, Chicken - English.,...-=.....-=..-=..-
=..............-=...-=....-=....-=...-=.............-=...-,...-=.....-=..-=..-=..............-=...-=....-
=....-=...-=.............-=...-,...-=.....-=..-=..-=..............-=...-=....-=....-=...-=.............-
=...-,...-=.....-=..-=..-=..............-=...-=....-=....-=...-=.............-=...-,...-=.....-=..-=..-
=......HA! HA! HA!...for old times sake...lol...Your Kidster, Your Majesty.
I've been buzzing around for hours
In and out of the flowers
Having a grand old flit.
I'm all covered in pollen
My legs are quite swollen,
But I do enjoy doing my bit.
I've been under the flowers spell,
Bee-witched by their colour and their smell
But I'm a bit bothered by what's happening to me;
My head's going round and round
Can't quite find the ground,
I'm bee-wildered,feel all at sea...
I'll take just one more dip.
Then I think I'll have a kip
Before I go home to tea...
Oo-er Ive come over all funny,
(Hic) never mind the honey
Think I'm a drunken bum-ble bee.
That goofball husband of hers brought her to this joint to see her get drunk for the very first time. She actually plugged her nose trying to sip her first glass of beer. Good grief. 20 minutes and she barely finished it. She walked to the restroom and I felt her teetering just a little bit. She likes the feeling though, I can tell! I sure liked it when she started boogying to the beat of the band on her way back to the table. Too bad Mr. dingbat won’t ever dance with her. She keeps tapping her hands on the table to the rhythm of the music. That’s why I have to write so slow. . . .
Now she’s tryin ta drink another beer but she can hardly stand it an her husband sez come on don’t ya wanna know how it fills ta be drunk? She says well at list I fill buzzd now. . .
The nice buzz wore off. It’s at least an hour later. She and hubbie got this idea to go to the liquor store. First time she ever went to one. She thought maybe brandy would taste better so then she could drink something stronger and know how it felt to be drunk. Brandy sounded sweet and fruity to her. Boy was she wrong. She took a little taste and it burned going down. That stuff sucks just like the beer. . . .
Wow she jus finisht tha hole boddle rily fast lik mebbie ten minuts ago so she kud fil drunk an she put me down ta finnish tha boddle in one shot now she kant evin kip her eyez opun UH ohhhhhhh
Epilogue: The preceding narration was based on actual fact. Upon consuming an entire bottle of brandy in less than ten minutes, "she" immediately passed out, and I recall she awoke in the morning having forgotten everything that transpired once she fell asleep. Furthermore, when she went into the bathroom the next morning and saw some flecks of vomit on the walls, she was quite amazed. Why? Because she had no recollection of throwing up, and she realized her goofball husband had actually attempted to clean up a mess in their house for the first time in their young married life!!!
By the way, Jenny, if you happen to be reading this, Shhhh. Please do not tell her other sisters. It would surely get back to you guys’ mother, and your poor upstanding church-loving mom might have a heart attack to hear of her daughter’s one transgression with the devil’s brew! Sincerely, Her Sober (albeit sometimes fanciful) Pen
I softly went a huntin’
To find some softly sheep,
I cannot count without them
To lull me back to sleep.
‘Where art thou little fluffy?’
I called its nicky name,
And taken by the surplus
A hundred bleaters came.
I’ll never count them all in time,
I worried like my pal,
I only wants a little kip
Not like my Auntie Val.
She likes to sleep for England
And all the English men.
Sometimes she sleeps with 40
And sometimes only 10.
miles a way......
I would like to be there,
for you,
to kiss your pain a way,
since you've been for me,
every step of the way,
when ever I needed you,
even tough,
were miles,and miles a way,
And tonight,
this very Halloween night,
as I will walk the streets,
you will be here,
in my heart,
to celebrate
the one we love the most,
and
miles can't kip us a part,
what matters the most
no one will know how close we are,
even tough,
we are miles and miles apart,
Friendship can prevent a blip,
By steadying the ship
And steering it clear of a rip
So it does not start to tip,
And the mate does not need to look for his whip,
With nobody needing to strip,
Do a flip,
And into the water slip,
Resulting in a broken hip,
Or a bruised lip,
That starts to drip,
Making it difficult to share a nip,
Or even one little sip,
Which gives one the pip,
And the inability to take a kip,
Until the doctor makes a snip,
That looks like a zip,
And prescribes a pill for a long trip.
I recollect the dark nights, worst nights, worst days, Dem nights, black Wednesday,
My happiness that nightfall was the worst and last case I would love not to recollect,
Damn! I couldn’t kip! I couldn’t have those fantasy dreams of Mars either!
That wasn’t what I wanted or wished for neither hoped for,
Damn! I was feeble, moist, and above all, agony,
That’s when! I needed Princess #8ryan’z fingers, to fill the gaps in between mine, I got none,
That’s when! I needed soft words which shouldn’t have broken my bones, I got a few,
That’s when! I needed Orisons, I got many reaching through to the end of my eyes,
With all that, still I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, couldn’t do a thing on black Wednesday,
But Hey! My life was already surrounded by good wines that gave me wide hope,
And later on, the next nightfall, I flourished in wander land,
Now, that I don’t want to talk about it,
Ama do some changes ‘Cause black Wednesday has been set free as a marked mural.
In Memory of Aunt Auke
© T.m.T.s
Jan, Mystic and Casarah
Been letting it rip
The smell woke the poor dog
From his afternoon kip
Looking very guilty he smelt his bott
Looked at me as much to say
Wasn't me dropped that lot
Must have been you, smell won't go away
I blamed the drains looking as innocent as I could
Was those fresh plums from Cosco I ate too many
Better stay near the bathroom I think I should.
Cos I got many farts rumbling in my tummy
The continuous story of Mystics Fart
I am,
or shld i say we r
i cld swear im bipolar
tripolar, quadpolar, grab a cola take a
seat n listen
i jus nid ur earz, i cld neva have ur
heart, believe me i tried
n ma mind?
lost dat so löng ago
i only knw it as consiousnes, its hidin in
ma head sumwere.
I knw its there sumwere coz every otha
day it clicks, in dat breif
moment i experience gud pain
the kind thats just enuf to kip u frm the
bad kind
the kind that leaves an ugly scar
n unlike da duckling time wont make
ths 1 a swan.
I cld have sworn
infact i swear i knw beta
extra extra read al abt it
go ahead n tel the world that im its
smartest fool and if im schooled it can
only mean im
grouped wit da fishes,
gosh im slipin wit da fishes,
lifes maffia's got to me...
Tho its dark, its kinda comfy in this
boot/
trunk SPACIOUS
It must be a be a benzo, maybach : )
always wanted to ride in 1
look how it had to happen
bt i kip smilin
godfather cldnt get me to kis hs pinkie
ring
heck i cld take hm out if you put me in a
ring,
i run wit GOD THE FATHER
n dats y im stil standing
even wen ma whole worlds shaking
nuthn lasts 4eva
certainly not this uncertainity
that has threatend ma sanity,
moments ago my mind clickd
i felt gud pain
ma life jus gathered momentum ima
be aite
and yeah if u stil wonderin, i am nuts
da kinda crazy dat makes people give
their hearts
wen they knw they r playin darts
in the dark wit no hands
yeah dats me
: )
THE END
A Woman’s lot!
Not yet 50 - well nearly - but not yet!
But I would never have bet
That this would be the year
That would start to drive me to tears
And night sweats….and brain fog
That makes life at times a bit of a slog
Now, who in their right mind would invent
Menopause - someone obviously hell bent
on wanting to cause maximum destruction and misery
As when a mood swing occurs and the potential of causing injury
A woman can easily say “sorry about that” and simply forget
As she embarks on another night of sweats!
Now, where was I, I do forget
It’s my memory you see, again it’s let
me down. From numbers to names
at times they all merge and become the same!
So, I’m told that reaching 50 that it is a great age
to do what you want - even get on that stage
But wait one second - my glamour has gone
My hair is falling out, my weight is bent on
increasing - so to the diet book I must go
to a menu of soup and salad and sometimes I have to throw
caution to the wind and have a bit of bread
to stop me throwing my Ted
at someone’s head!
Sleeping - who needs sleep?
Is it a habit I want to keep?
“Yes” I cry, I love my kip and my good dreams
not the night sweats that streams
down my body - leaving me soaked to the skin.
But not all is lost as to these words I have written
on a topic that is often untold - even forbidden.
So share these words I will
for these feelings and emotions we need to spill
and share with all
so we know it’s ok not to be ok
And make tomorrow (however hard!) another day of people we will not slay!
A mystical mayhem is a deity left undisturbed. Yet in corrosive eras even a sharp shrapnel can shatter even the most strongest of iron souls. Interesting is it? The formations. The planned plane. The corrosive killers. Plan not a wield upon a shield. And merely hide and lounge behind a base curve. Expect no larger ten weeks of a kip is neither a lay down sausage nor is it an elongated pillow public pillow case. Haha to that. And benign is the duties of the metre long united slumber chain. Symbolised stirring sap syrup should start saving some. And of course a clam giggling and gurgling likes marble gargling in a tentative terminology. Arteries arresting attestation arbitrary are applied apples aren't they? And no beacon blob. And no born booming boiling bonnet. Oh ho ho to that. Now get up you lazy guts and start a curfew curve. Ridgeback dodge ball in a pie is an anagram of wisdom in a shy ping pong ball. And to work is to wound so to work is to want. And the disco ball reflects the antonyms and synonyms against a backdrop of high fluted time gems. Hahahahah synergistic syndrome symmetrically symbolised stirring sap syrup as aforementioned......6%6%6%6%0%0%0%0%00000%800% of a cubic metrical device. Leaping. Of course. Wow. Fantastic. Interesting isn't it and the clan of the world is a good day and night and sweet dreams of the world is full on a trip and the other side is the best thing for the purpose of the world of goo. Choo choo then in a chip shop. Xxxxxx and a hahahahahahahah deviational duties xxxxxxx catalogues cauliflowers carbonated carbohydrates xxxxxxx coniferous clambering clam xxxxxx and an interesting chat emerges from an amateur radio station broadcasting organization xxxxxx feel felony's frailing fleas frying....xxxxx carbonization z z z
S ince I have been separated a year
E ventually I have come to see
L ife can be lived large, not small.
F orget about being left on the shelf.
A ctually, I now sing Alleluia.
C hoir practice I find cathartic.
T he poetry has been absolvent.
U nleashing deep hurts in haiku.
L aughter rises often, I'm cheerful.
I appreciate my friends in literati.
S kip along at work with a buzz.
A nd I am ready for any fiesta.
T hankful for this wonderful gift.
I nspiring, empowering, stimulating.
O ffering me a chance I hitherto
N ever had for self actualisation.
let's take a look at the beginning
wen the matters in your heart mattered to u alone
wen like BoB b4 Airplanes u wer unknown
wen the pp u had on speed dial wldn pick up e fone
n u hid the tears that only u knew wer dripping
fast forward to the here n now
to the thunderous applause u hear wen u take a bow
to the microphones that flood u to hear u speak
to how ur opinions r published week after week
who wlda thot that dis was all id take
a lil fame a lil fortune wit only jus ur soul at stake
sometimes wen the champagne wears n its quiet out
those lil flashbulbs tha go on n off its cald doubt
u knw that maybe dis lyf aint so cool
its got u dancn to their whims like okomfo anokye for the golden stool
n honestly hon who u tryna fool
so uv got mags writng down ur salad makn tips
n women lust afta ur collagen fild lips
u knw ur worth more han wat uv become
but u kip lyn to urself tha wats ben dun is dun
but we both know hon..it's only just begun...