Best Igor Poems

Don is the ultimate user
His deals seal you as a loser 
When Trump holds the cards
The lives now in shards
Bear witness he’s an abuser

The Don has a trick to reveal
He’ll dick you and cancel your deal
Like hands on your neck
Trump voids your paycheck
And feels ecstasy...

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Some men came and rang my doorbell
They barked To your pen say farewell!
Since you dared insult
Our Trump lover's cult
It gets ten to life in a cell...

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Lately I feel like Igor with a hump,
swamped with work a continuous pump,
running everywhere,
yes master I care,
Frankenstein warehouse giving me goose bumps.









12-17-16...

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humans spotted, Igor hides ‘neath his bridge
with watchful eyes, the bridge sees them pass
“It’s safe,” she murmurs to Igor

leaving the bridge’s safe retreat
Igor knows his foes will be heading back
“May I?” he asks the might oak

“Let my branches carry you to safety,”
the centuries-old oak responds,
“I...

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Quick, Igor, Fetch the Subject

By Elton Camp

At last Dr. Fraggle has achieved success
He’s developed a potion to bring distress

“A mad scientist they dare to call me!
Now who’s insane we will very soon see.”

“For if my elixir proves to work under test
Its power will soon be...

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There is no me 
where on the sand I cannot find your trace today
where white bird that is very sad
where white bird that is very sad has longing near me at the bay.
I'm only there
with trembling sound close to the pier of wanted lips
where swifts...

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In the steppes of central Russia
Lives an old theater usher,
Igor Ivanovsky is his name.
In his youth he had ambition
To gain wealth and recognition
And be a star on stage and screen, that was his aim.
He studied acting, mime, and ballet,
And could sing like Rudy Vallee,
But from...

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Hillbilly VP JD Vance
Surely hails from bad circumstance
Though spruced up by Yale
He acts much too male
To hide the wee lance in his pants


Note: Many other misogynists share this issue (DT, EM, 19 year-old college drop out Rye Country Day School wimp "Big Balls", etc). ...

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To satisfy itches he’d scratch
Panama’s channel is his catch
And like she’s a gal
He’ll grab this canal
Since Trumpenstein wants a wet snatch...

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Oh, she has lifted on tiptoes
and gifted lips to me for kiss
that was so tired, and autumn knows
wet silence. There were soundless tears
of ours, they were falling down,
And there was boring dying day,
All being had a boring gown
excepting only dream, I say.

P.S. This is my...

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In bed Don loves wearing his gold
Where billionaire's come to the fold  
They need not hold loins
But just buy Trump coins
While we work till we're dead and old

Trump’s deals concern what he can break
It’s how this Don hauls in his take
The rich on him...

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In this world I am like unwanted guest,
Piercing cold blows around and everywhere,
I'm not lost, but abandoned, and my chest
is alone with the city and it's fair.

Among meanness, betrayal and the court
that is ready to punish like the fate,
There's one thing that can ease my...

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What explains Trumpenstein’s command
That the U.S. borders expand?
His withered small shaft
Needs a bigger graft  
Of mastodon parts from Greenland 
...

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No prior POTUS has admired
Towered pyres for esquires they’d hired
Tired not by work hard
Now wired the trump card
That commands retire or You're Fired!...

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The proud boys fill Trumpenstein’s need
His pardons saw oath keepers freed
They’ll serve this nation
Intimidation
And feed our great narcissist’s greed...

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