Best Hunk Poems
I once knew a crazy old man Uncle Hanky P. Hunk.
He had the dirtiest house, the drabbest bunk.
I think that he was often kind of drunk.
His bedding was full of icky sticky gunk.
Once in wandered a tiny black and white skunk.
He fell on the floor with a loud heavy thunk.
Did that even wake Uncle Hanky Hunk?
No. He was asleep next to his traveling trunk.
Did you hear that thud? It was a giant clunk
I said to my sister, who was in a moody funk.
I did not, she said. But look at this awesome junk!
A treasure trove unless you find a scared little skunk
My charms excite, my good looks stun
This April, I was voted Hunk of the Month
Not a surprise
Got lovely thighs
A bod to die for, check out me bum
Did I not fall in love?
with a man in his boldness,
Matured at acuteness.
Ohhh he felt like home.
For the three months we pushed,
but haven't actually set eyes on each other
but, it felt like we knew each other.
I remember the days when he gave excuses for my "coming over"
I ignored the red flags
His Excuses felt like reasons enough to contain me.
I'll tell you what...
I was blind
Blinded by love.
How I chose to trust his word over what made sense.
How I betrayed my thoughts to delusions.
Did he not disappoint me?
On my calm day
And I remember it was a Friday
During working hours, towards ending hours.
I'll tell you what...
I got a call from the Hunk
Shocked I was than I could say worried,
He never called in those hours.
So, I answered with concern
And My heart sank a little when I heard voice of a woman.
But I was keen to hear what she had to say,
In actual fact to understand "why I am talking to a woman with his phone"
Guess what?
It was a Chick of his
Claiming that I disturb her relationship with Him
Him-The man I thought I fell in love with.
I asked Only relevant questions than fighting over him
Never will I ever give a man that much of a pride.
I'd rather put him on a spot to decide,
but fighting over a man no, my pride DON'T allow me.
Now I asked her, "where is Clyde"
Did she not say they've exchanged phone?
Tell you what...
She said they work together.
Did I not feel like a dummy?
well, I laughed a little, it wasn't even funny
In question a tear dropped, I remember
In the same instant my jaw dropped
For everything started making sense.
However, left Wondering
if he cheated with me or He cheated on me with her.
I still have no answer.
But I'll tell you what...
My heart dropped with every part of my being.
Many people say he is a fool,
for, he always wears rain boots to school.
But he's a hunk, I could say.
He could turn heads any day.
For, when he passes, the ladies drool.
February 28, 2023
Your Pick Again Poetry Contest (8th place)
Sponsored By: Brian Strand
Heartless Hunk goes through his day
Never knowing what to say
Believes that love makes him weak
So he stays a gadget geek
Heartless Hunk has got the look
He’s an “A” in every book
His smile sets your world on fire
He’s every silly girl’s desire
Heartless Hunk can’t see you cry
He prefers to say, “ah…..bye.”
He’s stuck in the caveman days
He grunts to show you his praise
“Heartless Hunk please learn to feel
Or her heart you’ll never steal
“Heartless Hunk, please get a life
Or you’ll never find a wife!”
Eileen Manassian Ghali
There's a lady farmer from Seattle
Who doesn't snore but moos aloud as cattle
She will only lay
On a bed of hay
Where sheep can't sleep for her rowdy rattle.
*+*+*+*
There is a woman that comes from Belgium
Who has been blessed with an enormous bum
She carries her kids
Upon her wide hips
And gets her chores done whilst they’re having fun.
*+*+*+*
There once was a skunk who’s heart was sunk
Because someone had told him that he stunk
So he bathed in perfume
Which got rid of his gloom
And started to strut feeling alike a hunk.
*+*+*+*
Pal Alfie jigged alike a raging fire
What's it all about, I had to enquire
He said he must hurry
He'd made a hot curry
And his innards were a furnace afire.
Alfie went scurrying off to the loo
I followed him to ask what I could do
He said "Just hold your nose”
“I'm ready to explode"
He did and the roof it exploded too.
We were both covered in debris and slate
And pondered how we could ever escape
Then the firemen arrived
And we’re staying alive
Now for our sakes no more curry he’ll make.
*+*+*+*
My wish is that a sweet tune I could sing
Much joy to my heart it would truly bring
I sound alike a goat
With a frog in my throat
And so I cannot sing my ding a ling.
*+*+*+*
4th November 2022
Rother Homme.
.
Hi chicks my name is Chuck
I’m one hell of a man
In my tight satin trousers
A rug on my chest
And a fake tan
.
Some men have got it
Someone of them don’t
And some a few of them
Won’t
.
I don’t even have to try
As soon as I walk in a disco
A chick gives me the eye
The chicks call me bull
I’m a love machine
And if you ever went to Tiffany’s
Or Adam and Eve in rhe 70’s
You’ll know what I mean
.
My clothes are from Sexy Rexy
My platform shoes
From a Rotherham market stall
My medallion from vinegar Liz
For 10 bob
Down at Clifton hall
.
A chic once she said she’d like to see me in 3D
Her room number
She said do want to come home for a coffee?
I declined because I only drink tea
And she run outa teabags
.
Why do chicks always say no
When they mean yes?
Could never understand why lads had a fight over a lass Outside
When I fad the lass sit on my knee
Inside?
.
Lock up yer daughters
Every Friday and Saturday night
My Feet itched to get on the dance floor and boogie
The smell of Brut and Avon perfume
Wafting around the room
And after a jar or two and my beer glasses on
The room was full of Olivia Newton John’s
And I was John Travolta with the fever
And the heat
Was on
.
The chicks did a kind of fertility dance
Around their handbags on the floor
They don’t do that any more
I used to keep a chick for more than two minutes
And at least knew their name
‘’Not many people know that’’
A quote from Michael Cane
.
Things are not the same no more
You can be sure
Brut now gives me a rash
And I don’t wear a medallion no more
The chicks have dried up like a river
And the love machine
Has ceased up and rusty
Doesn’t work no more.
.
Anon.
There once was a gorgeous hunk, unmarried
Deep in his heart a secret he carried --
No one could guess
Whom his love blessed --
M - O - M in his chest hairs was buried
Men like 'The Hunk' who are monogamous
Often want to remain anonymous
Partners today have a blast
Marriage is not made to last
Yet Hunk's chosen to be eponymous
When I was a little boy
There was one I called my favorite toy
Though I loved it, it wasn’t the real McCoy.
I got it in a trade with my friend Roy
Mommy it did annoy
When Dad stepped on it, I played coy
Though a hunk of plastic I found joy
With all my games I did employ
Against big monsters I did deploy
A box of firecrackers did destroy
I really miss that toy
had been a huge hunk
a baptist who we did dunk
was a lot of bunk
Was always a frail lad growing up
Girls looked at me and giggled
Had a scrawny physique and my looks
Made them wiggle and jiggle
Now I'm this handsome bearded hunk
Can't beat 'em off with a stick
Not complaining I'd like you to know
Perhaps a hard edge brick
Maybe it's the bunch of money I'm worth
Could be many many reasons
Like the Hollywood star I've become
Or the smell of tulips in season
Whatever it was sure sounds good to me
One a night for an hour each
The gods are surely shining down on me
Think I'll write a keynote speech
chuckles
The hunk of beryl did not look like much.
“It eventually turns into emerald,” the shopkeeper said.
Still unimpressed, I kept hunting for fluorite.
I have bought more fluorite than most gem collectors.
Greed allowed me to pay forty dollars for the ugly piece of beryl.
It was gray-tannish in color, elongated, with a touch of green at its tip.
“How soon will it turn into emerald?” I asked, before leaving.
“Millions of years,” the shopkeeper told me.
It is rare that I feel cheated before I leave a store.
This was one of those times.
The bright red and dark
Molasses shining
Against the sky and sand
Fine art stroll along the beach.
Elon Musk
rid himself of tusks and husks
millions in bank
thank dank stank Hank