My Limerick Ding a Ling
There's a lady farmer from Seattle
Who doesn't snore but moos aloud as cattle
She will only lay
On a bed of hay
Where sheep can't sleep for her rowdy rattle.
*+*+*+*
There is a woman that comes from Belgium
Who has been blessed with an enormous bum
She carries her kids
Upon her wide hips
And gets her chores done whilst they’re having fun.
*+*+*+*
There once was a skunk who’s heart was sunk
Because someone had told him that he stunk
So he bathed in perfume
Which got rid of his gloom
And started to strut feeling alike a hunk.
*+*+*+*
Pal Alfie jigged alike a raging fire
What's it all about, I had to enquire
He said he must hurry
He'd made a hot curry
And his innards were a furnace afire.
Alfie went scurrying off to the loo
I followed him to ask what I could do
He said "Just hold your nose”
“I'm ready to explode"
He did and the roof it exploded too.
We were both covered in debris and slate
And pondered how we could ever escape
Then the firemen arrived
And we’re staying alive
Now for our sakes no more curry he’ll make.
*+*+*+*
My wish is that a sweet tune I could sing
Much joy to my heart it would truly bring
I sound alike a goat
With a frog in my throat
And so I cannot sing my ding a ling.
*+*+*+*
4th November 2022
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