Best Have A Shot Poems
Congratulations!
2019 is the expectant year.
You will get a baby, if you are expecting one.
If you are expecting to say "no" to a puppy, but you have an
eight-year-old who wants one, and you are not firm, you might
get one, so expect this to possibly happen.
You will get a vibrancy and fun-filled life, if you think you will.
You will lose all of your money at a casino, if you believe in losing.
If you do not expect to lose, you have a shot at maybe enough money
to buy a pair of hot pink jogging pants with the words Treasure Island running up the leg in fancy schmancy rhinestones..
If you expect them to fall apart in the washer, they will though.
If you expect to get run over by a truck, well, that can also happen.
2019 is the expectant year, after all.
1. It's been years, months, weeks have gone by.
I've grown so much I can barely recognize my reflection. No lie.
Each day more, I've seen you star in less of my dreams and it made me glad.
I wrote a poem or two about the feeling of finally letting go of the best of me—you. My bad.
2. Mom drew the curtains today, I need some vitamin D.
She shut them back when she walked out, watching you ski.
My heart,
it beats,
When you're far and stops when you're near.
3. I thought I would have forgotten about your laugh, silly and cute.
Your eyes were ordinary but canvas worthy. Bullets of memories it shoots.
Your hands were soft as daisies, pretty as lilies. You'd stare at me as if I were a movie. Oh my.
Waves through my hair and entangle with mine under the moonlit sky.
4. I tried hard not to sound cheesy when I say you are my loophole, a bad habit,
A complete *****,
Force of nature, like the earth round its orbit,
Three hundred sixty-five days a year.
5. On a cloudy fall sky, I sat down in our favorite trees, penning down my thoughts.
Ink dries ahead of every word. Would you think I were cool if you saw me now?
Like a green leaf in a rainforest, a canvas stuck in a gallery, did I run out of slots?
Or am I like the river we bathe in when we were young, long gone and replaced. Do I still have a shot?
6. With you?
All through?
7. If not, let me go. I've got other dramas to star in. I won't be a second lead to none.
Can I
Go away, leave me alone in the cold dark forest, barefooted while she warms your sheets.
Hold me, let go, shunned.
8. Is she your forever?
Your seahorse?
Dancing to your favorite tune?
When I only need the source?
9. Your heart,
It beats,
Thump, thump, thump.
It's all for me, she feels.
10. About the poems I lied
Over a hundred, for each I cried
Thump thump thump
It beats
For you
I turned to my wife
With desire in my eyes
And my loins a little disjointed
Forestalling sin,
She asked with no grin,
¨Kind sir, do you have an appointment?¨
You'll need to make an appointment
If you wanna have a shot at love
I was having a chat
With a sweet bureaucrat
Whose curves nature had appointed
The moment seemed right
When up came the red light
And a billboard reading, ¨Make your appointment¨
In the future, you'll need an appointment
For love, for kindness, for care
Some justice of the peace
Will preside your release
Or decide on your fate of despair
In time we'll be damned
To a hostile land
Ruled by gods we ourselves anointed
Hey, you get what you give
So don't ---- where you live --
Or at least not without an appointment.
It's so much fun,
When the night's just begun;
Giggles and gossip among friends.
But the more we drink,
The manlier we think;
And that's when the trouble begins.
Hey! Bartender,
Could I get two fingers
Of tequila for each of us here.
And if that ain't enough,
Since we think we're so tough;
We'll all have a shot and beer.
We bump and we grind,
And twirk our behinds;
Then up on the tables to dance.
Usually laid back,
Now WATCH OUT JACK;
Our wild side alcohol enhanced.
We burp and we fart,
And dare to throw darts;
We don't even suck in our gutt.
We were doing so well,
Then all went to hell;
When a dart hit the bouncer's butt.
He started for us,
Not expecting much fuss;
But feeling no pain we avail.
We beat him down,
Ordered another round;
And as usual end up in jail.
Contest: 15
Sponsor: Casarah Nance
The dollar store around the block, I didn’t have a buck
McDonalds had a happy meal , I was out of luck
The ATM was putting out, my PIN was incorrect
My bank account was overdrawn, I couldn’t write a check
My car was running empty and my credit card declined
VISA called and left a message wanting to remind
The unemployment office said I’m ineligible to receive
The resumes that I sent last week no one will ever read
The doctor’s office said to me I am uninsured
The treatment that’s required, you cannot afford
My FICO score is falling, I cannot get a loan
I cannot pay the mortgage, and soon won’t have a home
My stomach is so hungry, it’s waiting for a meal
The dumpster is in lockdown, I cannot break the seal
The lottery that I didn’t win, The slot machine was cold
The metal detector’s on the brink, I can’t find any gold
The foodbank was depleted, the soup kitchen was closed
The shelter overloaded, the sidewalk overflowed
Comcast just around the block, I could not connect
K-Mart on the boulevard, they had no respect
Walmart down the corner, I wasn’t qualified
Starbucks full of young adults, middle aged need not apply
The hotel was hiring housekeepers, bilingual I was not
Hooter’s at the strip mall, I didn’t have a shot
Chastity is never fruitful, clever or right,
But we should all have a shot of the kite,
That lovers’ swing that makes you happy,
Disallowing the impudent or the snappy.
Sex sets you up for the day and for life,
When computers, friends don’t have life,
It propounds the right an raises good,
Ramifies that which you have understood.
An arrogant hare challenged a lethargic turtle to a race.
The hare ridiculed the turtle due to its lumbering pace.
"The loser", declared the hare " will be destined for the pot!"
The "hare"-brained turtle agreed knowing he didn't have a shot!
The turtle desperately tried to figure a way not to become the dupe,
And end his long and illustrious life as a repast of turtle soup!
They began the race and the hopping hare surged way ahead.
The ponderous turtle trailed behind with a growing sense of dread!
O'er the meadows and through the piney woods they raced.
The turtle could readily see that he was being outpaced!
"Fiddle faddle!" wheezed the hare "I'm gonna stop and take a nap!"
The turtle trundled steadily onward and quickly closed the gap!
When the hare awoke the turtle had crossed the finish line!
"Aha!" quoth the turtle, "it won't be me on which they dine!"
The bewildered hare was stewed and made a fine rarebit stew,
Making a tasty meal upon which the turtle could leisurely chew!
The moral of this tale is one that is echoed from the past:
"The last shall be first and the first shall be last!"
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Placed No. 1 in Poet Destroyer's "Turtle Soup" Contest - August 2010
Forgive me or condemn me.
I'm imperfect.
Nothing will change the way that I stand or present myself.
I will stand here until this world fades away.
In this place, we all die young.
So will you live or let me down like always?
I see the way you fall.
Living your life on your knees.
You fall for everything, give up on everything, you'll never have a chance.
I can see straight through your crooked eyes.
Infallible lies.
Again and again.
You can't help yourself.
Let the truth be told.
I got this feeling.
I don't think we will ever be the same.
We are bound to be polar opposites, you believe in nothing.
You fight for nothing.
You stand for nothing.
Am I the only one left with a mind of my own?
This makes me sick.
Get out of my face.
Decisions need to be made.
You need to change.
How can you just let your mind be d?
Your free will just stripped away.
It's like you make every effort to just spit in my face.
When will you stand?
When will you get off your knees?
I'm disgusted at your lack to live or believe in anything.
Get up.
I will not help you to your feet.
You're not that weak.
Will you stand or continue to fall?
You have a shot to end this all.
Pull the trigger or just spit in my face.
I’m sure you’ve never heard of her –
Her name was Judith Scott.
The cards were stacked against her
So she didn’t have a shot.
Both Down’s and deafness were her lot;
Her twin was not affected.
An institution was her home
Where nothing was expected.
When she was in her 40’s though,
Her sister got her out
And only then did she first taste
What life was all about.
A center for disabled folk
Taught art and Judith thrived.
In sculpture using cloth and objects,
Artistry arrived.
Her colorful creations now
In Brooklyn* can be found.
Together they’re displayed and titled
“Bound and” yes, “Unbound.”
No one knew what Judith Scott
Was thinking while creating,
But she’s the proof within us all
Potential might be waiting.
*Brooklyn Museum
i love writing about anything. it just so happens to be
that drinkin that ole No.7 whisky is nothing new to me
i love a good hard drink
..it makes me think
not of the world but of what cd to play
am i into rockin hard or should i kick it the country way
i love all types of music - reggaeton best of all
if you can crank up the bass i am happier than "jane
in my own world...gettin me out...you would have to be insane
drinkin beverages of my desire's choice
is like speaking without words...a whisper-like voice
let my eyes do the talking for me
makes me wonder
last night i danced in the thunder
would have been great if a bottle i would have had
ah.. but i am a nature girl
the best times are in the rain wild..
i have no reason to be sad
i love dancing in the rain
staring at the sky
lightning decorates the night
yeah true a shot of liquor would have played out just right
maybe next time it rains and wind howls its melody
i will have a shot of Jack, Cuervo, Patron...maybe 3
lol.
On a dark and stormy night
A ship hit a rock
Out of dread and fright
Passengers cried “what the fock?”
Bodies went flying
To and fro
Some were dying
As you probably know
But there was a boat
Over the side
Standing afloat
30 made it inside
The boat was made for seven
Cpt. Tossabout had to choose
Who would go to heaven
You know, who would loose
He had to think quick
He had to think fast
He had to pick
Who would be first, who would be last
He brainstormed a bit
And he thought
“this is it”
“I have a shot”
All eyes fell upon him
As he cleared his throat
He wondered who could swim
As he looked around the boat
“Simon Says is the game we’ll play”
“And the winners will stay”
To this everyone agreed
Cpt. Tossabout said “I’ll lead”
“Simon says jump over board”
Amazingly each body soared
They all went to Davey Jones’ locker
Cpt. Tossabout was a smart motherfocker.
It's nice and sunny today
but this week's been rough,
more snow than I can handle
this Winter has been quite tough.
Twice already in three days
we've been blasted by snow,
I'd like to express to this Winter
"Come on. Just let it go!"
Father Winter wants to hang on
for as long as he possibly can,
"You have to give it up.
Just throw in the towel, old man!"
Spring is showing up tomorrow
she will want to have a shot,
sprinkling rain, making flowers bloom
making the air nice and hot.
I'm afraid that the snow
will stick around until July,
I won't take this anymore, Old Man
with me, it just won't fly.
Copyright Cynthia Jones
Mar.19/2015
Saturday night into all day Sunday, we got blasted with 35cm of snow. Tuesday night into Wednesday, we got blasted with another 30cm or so, on top of that. This Old Man has been relentless. Our city broke the snowfall amount on Sunday, by 5cm. So far, we've received around 451cm since February. And to top that off, we're in for more snow this coming Saturday. ARGH!!!!
I think I will go to the boat Inn and have a shot or two maybe three
of burbon to smooth my skin, all the liqure yum yum that looks so deceious to me, I think i might move from this spot the guy sitting next to me thinks Im his go go dancer oh the foolish choices i've made ding ding I'm the winner.This place is getting crowed to many hillbilly outlaws comming in the door they need to remove the buck shots from their ass hee haw and mop the floor,OH all the people are making a mess to think i have to clean there dirty glass if they only know how hard i work maybe they will get drunk enough to spit shine the floors.Yes i think i need to find a spot so i decided to get up and stumble out side, hey bartender looks like i need some more line em up buddy four , five , maybe six will do the trick, Oh i love this boat my head is starting to spin with the current of the wind. And the music i hear i think I can take the stage oh now I lost my sheet of music i was singing to,now the word's we will never see,It was a classic wonder I sung a million before,but with out a beat I cant sing no more,cant stomp my feet cant feel the floor, All the violins don't play all the strings have popped and slung away,and my piano is missing keys and for the sake of me my guitars are busted out of tune i shall pass to sing for thee.Oh this place is such a mess to think i have to work in such a place.
.
On New Year's Eve I was a wreck,
I didn't have a shot...
fearing I would get extremely sick
and spill out my gut.
I went out without a coat
gloves, scarf and hat,
thinking it was still Fall;
the harsh wind blew everywhere,
even walking was tough.
I reached home before nightfall,
and drank hot tea to relieve
the chills and the steady cough.
The new resolution is too unrealistic to keep,
I have to make changes to my diet: eat
more fruits and veggies, lose some fat
in my tummy and be as fit as an athlete;
I won't win a gold medal, but staying fit
it's worth my time and effort...wish me luck!
Written on 1/3/2017
I bet you won't call
You know its true
You're addicted to your buddies
I'm addicted to you
I stay up waiting for your call
Insomnia; sleepless
You will never realize
You are my biggest weakness
You said you would call two hours ago
It's cold and I'm still waiting
It will never be you,
Only the friends I'll be hating
Happy Anniversary baby!
What? out with the guys again?
Call me when your guys night out is over,
Maybe we can talk then
I don't like this side of you
Drinking, partying, buddies trying to fix you up with others, whatever
It hurts so damn bad
But I will leave you never
I wake up and see I have a voice mail
It's from you; I'm so happy!
"I lost track of time,
your too controlling."
I break down crying
Realizing I'm no better than you
Grabbing the bottle, I say
I'll only have a shot or two
Time has passed
I'm drunk as hell
The saddest thing is
I love you still
Trying too drink away the pain
hours flash by day turns too night
tears falling down my face like rain
Why is loving you such a fight??
-----------
Please do not judge me by this poem. I wrote it when I was 19 and having a very hard time in my life. Drinking was what I turned too. Things have since turned around a little. I no longer drink so that's a plus