Best Haircut Poems

The Haircut

By Elton Camp


That man with a buzzing machine
What in the world can he mean


He's bringing it right up to my head
This brings me fright and dread


My dad is sitting right over there
He somehow doesn't seem to care


I'm in great danger can't he see
Why doesn't...

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Sometimes just a trim; others, a drastic clip;
around-the-world trip with one mighty snip.
	
Children and scissors together, tempt fate;
by the time you check, it's already too late.

Like closing hen-house doors after the chicks are out;
no need to whimper, get angry or shout.

She's taken the scissors, achieved...

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Close and clean but I gots to go                                     ...

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He went to the barber to cut his hair
But he looked at him with an awful stare
Then he heard the barber say
Sir, you're wearing a toupee
He said I was tired and couldn't find a chair...

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Today, Hubby came home with a shaved head
At first, I thought a stranger I'd bed!
The reason he's bald
Our heat wave does scald
At least it's better than locks dredg'd!...

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The smell
The feel
The taste
The sound
The sight
These are your five senses
Useful they are,
When getting a haircut...

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why is it like this for me
it's not the way it's mean't to be
now i'm in a total rut
all because of my haircut

oh!it's all right for you to smirk
it's not you who looks a jerk
and now i feel so loud and gaudy
a totally messed up...

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I remember back a year or two when waiting for the barber’s chair,
where Bill Crosbie snipped around the heads, relieving excess hair,
and Bill’s as typical a barber that you’re ever deemed to meet.
He liked to hear the local gossip while you’re sitting on his seat....

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As she waked through the door I could tell by the look in her eye
Exactly what she wanted and I would be the one to give it to her
Sitting her down I wrapped her firmly and released the golden locks
Which flowed like silk down her...

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he sits
she cuts
hair once dark
like nights 
of passion shared
now white 
with streaks
and still she cuts
remembering
this once bold man
strong and full of challenge
mighty shoulders
arms that lifted her with ease
squeezed her breathless
brought her to her knees
with love
now flaccid weak 
balding gray 
this man she loves
so dearly 
fades...

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Week before middle school
Twelve and shy
Sent to get haircut
With three dollars
Clippers were brought out
I was too scared to look
I had never had a store-bought haircut before
The man had a funny smell.
I would not know it was alcohol for several more years.
He sang while he used...

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Barbershops all closed,

                                         a Covid...

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Everybody and their cousin wants their haircut today.
The sign is in the window as usual – stylist needed.
Great opportunity. Apply within.
It should say ten stylists needed.
Many empty stations.
Not sure what is happening here.
The usual cutters are not around anymore.
The young ones are beeping and blinking...

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King of the Jungle 

Queuing with my homies
Houdinis every one.
No sharpened  tongues, but scissors,
To calm the shaggy throng 

Not all blokes in this queue,
Despite lockdown's grooming blooper,
As I stand here and review,
Will contest my Bradley Cooper

Alas, Delilah wins. 
It's time to shave my greying locks
Hirsute-less...

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I once sported a manly beard,
a beastly beard had I.
But then on the farm, at the crack of dawn,
while my lady cheered,
she chopped it off, and while the cows mockingly mooed,
I quietly cried.
And with that, a little something inside of me died.

I would venture to...

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