Best Filet Poems
If I were a prisoner on death row
just hours away from execution
I would NOT order a meal of calamari with ratatouille,
filet mignon with truffles and Strawberry Sherbet.
I would reject a plate of Duck Liver Terrine with Confit Quail
garnished by Baby Leeks and Porcini mushrooms.
I would sneer at Saskatoon berries and Niagara peaches
dripping in lavender honey and maple syrup.
Peking duck, Scottish kippers, caviar, abalone
Siberian meat dumplings and escargot
washed down with a fruity chardonnay and a supple merlot
would not be of interest to me.
I’d insist on a baked Russet potato
freshly picked from an Idaho organic farm
topped off with Schuler bar cheese and sour cream
and washed down with Martinelli’s sparkling cider.
In my final moments I’d reflect on how Luther Burbank
began with the seeds of an Early Rose potato plant
and worked for years to breed the awesome tuber
that has come to be called the Idaho Baker.
And I’d feel sad as I meditated on how
the brilliant but impoverished Burbank
had to sell his tater masterpiece to a tycoon
named J H Gregory for $150!
For forty years the world’s potato scientists
(and yes, there are such people)
have worked to improve the Idaho Russet
and have failed to find a serious contender.
When I’m finally executed for my crimes of inanity
and ascend to the ‘Heaven for the Misunderstood’
I’ll dine on the manna from planet Earth,
the humble but delectable Burbank Russet potato.
I set the table, place for one
Pour the wine, cork undone
Filet mignon, to perfection done
Topped with greens, and a sauce of rum
The evening sets, as it always had
A gourmet meal, aint so bad
I make a toast to the other side
As silence waits, I must abide
As I hold my glass
Of Bordeaux wine
I dare to wish but for one more thing
In darkened silence, the phone to ring
Soufflé simply will not do
There is no sweet without you
The perfect meal evades me still
The evening fades into a chill
Sleep evades my dreamy mind
And in the haze of wishful thoughts
Dinner was served
With a Kiss
Friday Night Dinners
Waiting in line
Table for five
Peanuts on floor
Country songs blaring
Crazy loud voices
Time to dine
Bottle of beer
Bread and butter
Petite filet rare
Loaded baked potato
Extra sour cream
Crisp Cesar salad
Ice cream sundae
Time to go
Kisses and hugs………
Life is good
His long cane pole limber and perfect,
Patiently waiting, his eye on the bobber
For his prey, he has the utmost respect,
The big fish almost becoming his cobber.
He’d seen it swim among the rocks alone
Unmindful of its nemesis on the bank
The water clearer, he could see the stone,
He longed to hook it firmly, give it a yank.
Four times before he’d watched it feed
Once in the rocks, thrice in the shallows
A great catch it would surely fulfill a need
To cement his place among his fellows,
But the sun now approaching mid-morn
Signaled he was too late to catch today,
Beaming on the fisherman with scorn
No prize catch would there be to filet.
Written August 15, 2022
It is the laziest of all creatures,
It could eat and eat filet all the day long.
Investigative eyes is a feature,
And it will sing to you its forlorn song.
It will avoid you like the plague by day,
Skulking, running, bounding, from room to room.
By night it searches through the halls for its prey,
The hunted will meet its impending doom.
The whisper of whiskers against the door,
Tip-toe, pitter-patter, sneakily creeps.
All at once bounding across the floor,
Whoosh goes the paw across the mouse hole deep.
“Drat!” says the cat, missed the mark once again,
Once more the mouse hunt will have to begin.
Flaming steaks and ice cold drinks
you thought good food had become extinct
until you ate here and gave us a nod and a wink.
Appetizers galore with soft stringy cheese sticks, artichoke hearts deep fried
with a taste of parmesan cheese and a dip to please.
bacon wrapped shrimp you might want to frame, seared sea scallops that
make you want to gallop, stuff mushrooms that'll make you croon, escargot
and baked claims as you eat them you'll definitely leave a stain
Ice burg lettuce or romaine with fresh dressing all homemade.
Lobster bisque soup with a deep rich taste if you don't like
seafood try Tomato bisque instead, French onion soup either a bowel
or cup just don't be a glut.
Your auntre is about to start your just warming up
hot garlic bread with a wonderful spread, Chris's secret recipe if he
told you how he made it you'd be dead.
Succulent steaks porterhouse, ribeye, serlion, T-bone and of course filet
add garlic or lemon butter to dip, 'hooray!'
Chicken flew by giving you legs and wings deep fried
want a little less oil try the fresh grilled chicken
fit for a royal.
Hamburger, cheeseburger just choose your cheese and of course
add bacon please. Want an egg on top sunny side up
when you squeeze the bun it will definitely erupt.
The beef is so fresh the cows stopped mooing when
it hit the grill with no sign of stress.
Vegetable melody or a little broccoli please.
The potato why so many things I can do
baked, French fried, homefried or even mashed
some round or shaped like a torpedo.
Baked fish Talapia, Flounder or even Sea Bass
'Oh' so fresh. We have an aquarium in the back,
just teasing we use a pole and bait at our near by lake.
End the evening as you sit back with a luscious sweet dessert
but please don't drool bibs are provided if needed
or even a paper sack on your way out.
Just remember as my Daddy always said,
'You all come back now you hear, friends are like family
and we hold you all dear!'
Coming Soon: The new "Fire and Ice Grill and Pub"
T Reams
There’s a fish that lives inside my head,
The bigger he grows the more he gets fed.
And when anglers come to take a look,
They dangle their worms on a fishing hook.
Or they toss him bits and bites of bread,
Which makes him grow and expands my head.
And he longs to swim with fish in the sea,
But here he remains stuck inside of me.
But now he’s grown too big today,
And there’s enough to be a filet.
Cutting him down makes him easier to swallow,
But like a puffer fish they’ll find him hollow.
Now where there once floundered a whale,
Is left a little minnow to grab by the tail.
One day I’ll play in the Chesapeake Bay
On a boat I’ll lay soaking up sun rays
Sunscreen I’ll spray U.V. rays turn away
Catch a fish I’ll pray possibly display
A fish mouth I’ll splay possibly filet
A good day I’ll say in Chesapeake Bay
A RACE TO DE-BONE FISH:
Filet
Relay
A CONVENT FOR SHELL FISH:
Oyster
Cloister
A MEMBER OF THE UNDER SEA MAFIA:
Mobster
Lobster
A PROMISCUOUS SHRIMP:
Trampy
Scampi
A MUSICAL RED SNAPPER:
Snapper
Rapper
A COMPASSIONATE FISH:
Caring
Herring
A LAW ENFORCEMENT FISH:
Grouper
Trouper
2/2/13
Entered in Brian Strand's All Yours Contest
Rhyming is not hard for me.
Neither is light poetry.
Lucky that way.
OK, the stanza count's three.
Rhyme scheme is A A then B.
Lots more to say.
Where is this going? We'll see.
Dr. Suess seems to guide me
along the way.
Once upon a time's cliché,
memories of yesterday.
Then it got hard.
Do I want a fish filet?
Why can't I just run away
from my backyard?
Society has its sway
like seven syllables, eh?
Sometimes it's hard.
Yeah, so back to my backyard:
vinyards, retards, and en-guards
go with the flow.
Charcoal leaves nasty black chards
even grandma sometimes farts
those in the know
get it that … yep, can be hard.
Or soft, whatever. My cards
go for gusto.
I've got a dish of killifish
I wish to eat that silly fish
Baked, or fried in peanut oil
Roasted, dried, or let to boil.
Make me a star-gazy pie
Take me to the Catfish Fry
Lead me to the China Sea
Feed me hermit crabs and brie.
Help me out with rainbow trout
Salt and thyme and wedge of lime
Filet of sole, or snapper red,
Served up whole, or just the head.
Meals of eels caught on reels
You're the star with caviar
Butter clams served with yams
Can't say no to salmon roe.
Tuna eyes baked in pies
Oh so daring pickled herring
In the lurch for snails and perch
Ring the bells for cockle shells.
Canned sardines on toast with greens
Sturgeon, sprat, and stuff like that
Grouper, pike, that's what I like
Smelt and bream that make me dream.
Cajun shrimp for my new pimp
Lutefisk and lobster bisque
Flying squid and yellowfin
Silver carp and capelin.
Give to me a plate of oyster
Eat them raw, that way they're moister
Tilapia and tiger prawn
Eat them 'til my hunger's gone.
Hake or krill would be a thrill
Bass and shad will make me glad
Tasty crappie makes happy
Give a nod to Greenland cod
Oo! I'd like a northern pike
Barramundi served on Sunday
Grouper, alligator gar,
Halibut or no cigar.
Amberjack atop hardtack
Pan-fried kipper for the skipper
Mackerel, tasty as hell,
Lox and mullet down the gullet.
Kokanee or marlin blue
Arowana, bowfin too
Bring to me your soups and stews
Sing for me the dogfish blues.
Here at our Cafe'
We serve the best brains in the City
We only pick the freshest
The pink, the plump and pretty
We like our brains real lean
It's the healthy way to eat
So we trim off all the fat
And we cut-out all the meat
But Our recipe's a secret
You mustn't tell a soul
We use a lot of fruit
And of course veg-e-ta-bles
Then we, Chop, slice and puree
Filet, fry and boil
Dip, roll, then saute
Season, salt and oil
Cut, mince and marinate
Stuff, simmer, stew and baste
Freeze, and refrigerate
Then add more salt to taste
Bake, broil, and then roast
Steam, stir with ladle
Sear, brown, braze and toast
Then serve it to your table
The date’s been set and many will attend
Just the penguin will be wearing his tux
A “come as you are” I did extend
So expect to see antlers on the bucks
In the heart of Sherwood Forest we’ll meet
Guests will include many from Noah’s ark
Each one I can’t wait to heartily greet
The skunk will be seated with the aardvark
Filet mignon is the menu of choice
But heifers were threatening to boycott
So a vegan dish has made them rejoice
And something fishy may arrive by yacht
A songbird choir will be entertaining
(Can’t wait to see the tarantula dance)
Trees will give shelter if it is raining
Elk will surely line up, ready to prance
The Lion King and the Duke of Squirrel
Will receive the red carpet treatment
And Miss Piggy will be our cover girl
Turning heads of many a furry gent
It all sounds so grand, but here’s the best part
Once this party begins, there’ll be no end
Animals live in harmony; they’re smart
And not one other human will attend
*Written July 28, 2014
Two portabella caps Stems removed deeply and diced.
Frills down in olive oil and butter (with stem pieces)
Pan hot
Flip to frills up
Fill with italian dressing and cheddar cheese
Fry covered at simmer
Steam spinach
Steam parsnips in buttered water
Saute two filet mignon wrapped in bacon
divide equally on two plates
Sip wine and share the joy with friends
Republicans keep talking about a Shining City on a Hill,
Problem is to get in you need a Million Dollar bill,
They kicked out all the Middle Class and Poor people from the area, and relocated them to a Landfill,
While everybody,s starving, they up there cooking filet-mignon on the grill,
wondering what all the fuss is about a little old BP oil spill,
Excuse me for not enjoying the sight of their Metropolis glowing in the Night!,
I,m locked out the gate,
Struggling to survive daily, seems my fate,
and to top it all off, They do not care of my plight
and it,s my taxes
that,s paying for all that Goddamned Light!!!!