Best Fenn Poems

I never saw it coming 
It just crept up unawares
Probably this morning
Whilst I was still upstairs
I thought I caught a glimpse 
As I had my...

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If pigs could fly it wouldn’t be good
You’d have to go out with a brolly
Wear Wellington boots and waterproof suits
Life wouldn’t be happy or jolly

There’d...

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Remote controls are funny things
Then, maybe it’s just me
I wave it around for hours 
But, still can’t get channel three
It will always find the menu
For...

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If I could have a word with God
I’d tell him I’m not pleased
Throughout the years he’s toyed with me
He tempted and he teased
He’d lead me...

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Over in the corner 
By the photo of the Queen
Lives a great enormous spider
Trying hard, not to be seen
He is very very hairy
And he’s very...

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SPIRITS OF THE PARROTS

Two parrots, one red, one blue,
share one large, rotund zoo cage,
just the two of them.
There are plenty of perches,
yet they sit on...

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There are Fairies at the bottom of my garden
And they visit every evening, for a dance
They are lovely to behold and very welcome
I just wish...

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The weeds that grow upon the lawn
Continue growing when they’re shorn
Though treated with a herbicide
It’s no surprise that none have died
The chemicals that you apply
Should...

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I’ve got a great invention
I use it all the time
It does the things that I should do
It always works just fine

It cleans my room it...

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You gots to wear your  ‘elmet
It’s a rule what can’t be broke
Suspose you ‘as a haccident
That wouldn’t be a joke
If sumfin’ comes a crashing...

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The sock monster climbs up the waste pipe
And into your washing machine
He’ll hide up in a corner
To ensure he can’t be seen.
Then when you put...

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IV
Matriculation

Back to home, Patrick did go,
	For in his heart he knew
		It was time to study with the church,
	That this he had to do.
			He told his...

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If your bottom should start feeling ill at ease
And then blesses everybody with a sneeze;
Good people please take heart, 
it was just a little fart
Which...

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Never let an elephant in your house
Get a rabbit or a lemur or a mouse
If you’re going to buy a pet
And you haven’t got one...

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I’m learning how to fly 
My Mummy says I’ll be outstanding
She say’s I need to do a little
Practice on my landing
She said to stay low...

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