Best Farce Poems
Should you vote the democratic ticket, then let the farce be with you!
All I can say is please do some serious research before you do.
It’s not just about change but this country’s future is at stake,
Check out both candidates records, times are getting too serious to make any mistakes.
Many, many men have died for our freedom and the right to vote,
Do not vote on infatuation, cause it was shed blood that bought it, I do not mean to gloat.
The issue that worries me most is our economy is rapidly falling apart,
They need to cap the price of crude it’s eroding this nations heart.
I don’t know of one thing that hasn’t increased in the last two years,
You can call it what it is but we have allowed this to happen and now we are facing our
worst fears.
We have become too dependent on foreign oil,
It’s time to crank up those drilling rigs and start punching holes right here in American
soil.
And when they need our wheat or grain,
Sell it to them at a jacked up price let them feel the hurt and pain.
No more weapons to foreign countries shall we sale,
As far as I’m concerned they can all go straight to h—l.
No more being Mr. Nice Guy let them fend for themselves,
Let us take care of what we have and start stockpiling our shelves.
I think it is time for this country and it’s people to unite for the right reasons.
Time is not on our side, the Lord is about to return, read the signs know the seasons.
Based on BBC news article "Fart in parliament: Row blows up in Canada"
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-38037187
Should our leaders discuss debt?
Under which we toil and sweat
How to tax us? Lots or little?
Or somewhere roughly in the middle?
Do we grow and do they borrow?
Or make a promise vague and hollow
Economic conflagration?
Unemployment or inflation?
Do they reason? Time well spent?
No, they argue rectal scent
Flatus, butt burp, toxic winds
Makes eyes water, nose hairs singe
Rear crescendo, basso bum
Call a ballot 'bout the hum
Referendum! Backside notes?
Use some room spray! Gets my vote!
Village Justice Or Legal Farce
A developing saga of political intrigue and power play in the corridors of power...
With invisible puppet strings being tugged in a certain manner....
How else to explain the self righteous supremo of PAS filing a libel suit to safeguard integrity.....
So far away from Bolehland, in the hallowed halls of British justice ....
Sarawak Report merely publicised millions for PAS politicians in the party piggy bank...
The supremo took it upon himself to sue, personally taking offence....
If Sarawak Report Claire did damage his personal image of being squeaky clean politician...
Why should he file the suit over there in the Halls of Justice in England....
When doing so locally in Bolehland will ensure him relevancy and support at hand....
Hohoho...
In all probability, the supremo has been ill advised to pursue the case abroad....
Aided and prodded behind by someone who hopes to sanitize his own image abroad....
The supremo and even PAS the party, they do not have the funds for such a legal parody....
To the extent of engaging the services of a famous British Law office ....
One of the most expensive, charging exorbitant rates hourly....
Hohoho.....
Has he been gifted the funds necessary by the puppeteer with deep pockets....
Or is he is confused and ill advised as not to see the pawn that he is....
When the sun sets and the battle dust all settled, will this supremo end up an economic wreck....
Will he end up, egg in the face, an obvious loser holding a garbage bag....
Staring a monstrous obscene bill to settle after a legal battle in England....
Will we see a 2nd round of public appeal to ignorant folks in Bolehland.....
All blinded and seduced by his claim of all these was for a cause of their religion?
Hohoho....
I mean was Darwin thinking when he wrote this theory
When I studied Psychology and read this I said O’ dear me
Only the strong shall survive was his point
I think on this subject his jaw was out of joint
Observing two similar birds with different beaks
Saying that’s evolution is evident as I speak
Well here I go again, a myth buster at his best
To show this dude Darwin didn’t put the theory to the test.
I have one example that blows holes in it
Even Darwin will raise his hands and say “Sid you got me beat”
Hear we go:
Once again :-)
Have you ever seen a female dog when she’s on heat
To the male dogs this is a treat
They line up be hind her according to strength
As they patiently wait to make love to this wench
But then a strange thing happens the strongest mut
Is faced with a challenge which is a make or bust
And while they size each other and start to brawl
The others run away leaving one that is scrawny and small
The small one approaches her and doesn’t even have the audacity to give her a sniff
He just climbs up and gives her the stiff
And after his finished and has done the deed
You expecting a through breed, the end product is a mongrel cross breed
So when you meet a skinny man with coke bottle glasses and a comb over
Just think “no such thing as natural selection and the best is scrawny Rover”
This is the best that you’ll ever get
And the love will be the best I bet
And as I tuck myself in and before I switch off the light
All I have to say ladies and gentleman is good night
The only door known, stood closed
She raised her hands to push them open
A fear strange clenched at her heart
She pulled back fearing even to knock
Unsure of what her eyes would accost
An expression of joy or impatience naked
She stood at a loss confused and distressed
Her own no longer familiar and known
She remembered the day she was lost at the fair
The colorful scenes had turned bleak causing scare
When the hands that had held her had left her forlorn
She had fought back the tears, pretending to be strong
The little girl within had always acted brave
No one saw the farce and thought she would prevail
She knew not of another way but to courage, fake
And wished eyes caring would to the truth awake
The post office
parcel farce
Those in charge
a little bit harsh
asleep at the wheel
give them a bonus
hundreds and hundreds
and nobody noticed
The honours awarded
Community service
Innocent to guilty
that is the verdict
you took their lives
their reps their money
are you obliged
a stint in the prisons
through ruining lives
you made decisions
I think it’s a joke
I think it’s a farce
the head ain’t accountable
only the ****
My latest local farce, oh, what a schmooze!
oily words from his thick lips fairly ooze.
Behind my back, he must think I’m a hick,
ducking and dodging him doesn’t quite stick.
He’ll pop out of nowhere, but I don’t drool,
not when he treats me like somebody’s fool.
I want to purge my mem'ry of his muck.
He’s not really rude, just a roguish puck
or maybe simply an ill-behaved imp.
He’s like a certain, curious chimp.
He chatters away; I skip past his teeth
to hear what is the bewitching beneath -
affections which are a weak, vain attempt
to air his supercilious contempt.
written May 10, 2017
Christmas was coming, I'd begun to fret
Thinking of all the gifts to purchase yet
I spied an advert in a local store
For someone to replace their Santa Claus.
They gave me the position there and then
Eager to set up the grotto again
Got in my Santa outfit, it looked ace
Especially the white beard on my face.
The Grotto was the most magical sight
Christmas songs setting the ambience right
Fairies and elves we're dancing to the tunes
Dressed up in their theatrical costumes.
Suddenly the peace and calm was shattered
Through the entrance rowdy children clattered
Here, there everywhere kids were running wild
There was no controlling of anyone's child.
I could not decide how or where to start
The little terrors kicked up such a farce
A little one came and sat on my knee
Grabbed my hat and put her tongue out at me.
Another child ran up and kicked my shin
Then pulled off the beard and bit on my chin
"No presents for you naughty boy" I said
Looked me in the eye and said “wanna bet."
Parcels were tossed and strewn across the floor
And the mess made of the tree’s an eyesore
With tinsel they tied up fairies and elves
Whatever I tried the rascals rebelled.
For me the farce got beyond way too much
So gave the emergency bell a buzz
Security came and asked "what’s amiss"
"What’s amiss, I've had just enough of this.”
"It's no surprise Santa Claus runs off
Having to deal with the likes of this lot
These so called darlings I fear to be near
Hand me the sack and I’ll flee out of here."
16th December 2020
Fantasy with fictional beings Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Caren Krutsinger
Word count = 281
A man who is
Afraid of his own words,
In his eyes, nothing but
The timidity of a rat;
Without guards and
Bulletproof motorcades,
A wasteful wife;
He would pee in his pants:
Crazy he cowered us with violence,
Wasted our lives;
Finger on cheek,
Like a thoughtful statesman,
What a farce!
Outrage and then revenge..Ensure such' and repetitions
Will never end.' A formula humans know.'
Yet with much drive, and vigour, still scatter and sow..!
This tragedy is a farce,
A play within a play.
The king says one thing,
The queen another
And the pawn, lying broken
May never recover.
Romantic sop,
(he’s quite the fool)
Watching the battle go on
and on . . .
. . . and on the warfare continues -
A game of Armageddon.
With despotic palaver
The pawn is sent
To the enemy campsite
To sow discontent.
Rhapsodic dolt,
(he’s quite the fool)
An equerry running from side
to side . . .
. . . to side with those in grace.
Insane the thought of victors.
Hollow heroes
With noble guile
Bewitch the pawn
In villainous style.
Quixotic soul
(he’s quite the fool)
Standing in line for a Judas kiss.
Posters painted
By law tainted
Rosaries rattling
Prayers prattling
Police swoop
Spirits droop
Whisked away
Because they pray
For children unborn
Innocent lives shorn
In abortion clinics
Cold cash for callous cynics
The Lies you tell me and then tell yourself
the way you act as a victim in your own web of hell
and if I call out your horse- , you will blame and throw a fit
you cut me with your behavior and words and then don't expect me to bleed
you then after much confrontation say sorry as if it will add to your good deed
its time to make this right and I am done not standing up
So I am going to hold you accountable for these actions that has caused all this mess-up.
Before the chip, before binary code,
Before clocks showed in digital time mode,
Stood an ancient man with furrowed brow
Trying to track time and count numbers in a row.
He stared at stars, watched the sun,
He devised how to count when time had begun,
Using the flanges of his fingers one by one,
Counting seconds, minutes, days, and months done.
He counted numbers digitally on his hands.
One to five, six to ten, on which his pointer lands.
Strange that all our digital devices and displays.
Remembers the term 'counting with fingers' still plays.
Makeup never hides the truth
the camera sees it all
Sharply focused through the pain
each mask a futile pall
As clowns embrace the actor’s fears
in painted frozen smiles
The farce goes on in word and song
—a masquerades denial
(Dreamsleep: May, 2023)