Best Edam Poems
I went to a cheese and wine party on Saturday,
where huge platters of cheese were on display.
There was Gorgonzola and creamy white Brie,
I devoured huge chunks with a glass of Chablis.
Danish Blue, Mozzarella and Swiss Emmental,
of course I had to try a sample of them all!
I declined Edam and Gouda, I find them too waxy -
and the last time I ate them I was sick in the taxi!
Soft creamy Camembert and blue Roquefort,
went down a treat with a glass of vintage port.
Crumbly Cheshire and Cheddar were so divine,
and tasted heavenly with red Beaujolais wine.
I’d chomped through all of the Stinking Bishop,
our hostess had to restock the whole dish up!
Then I munched little cubes of Monterey Jack -
if my doctor saw me he’d have a heart attack!
When our host carried in a blue Stilton in a truckle,
I loosened a notch on my now straining belt buckle!
I admit blue cheese can smell like men's sweaty socks
but ripe Stilton and crackers, this cheese simply rocks!
Write a poem about Cheese Contest
Sponsored by Barry Stebbings
FICTION POEM FOR CONTEST
11/12/18
Categories:
edam, food, humorous,
Form:
Rhyme
"I will never know how you see red and you will never know how I see it." ~ Anne Carson, 'Autobiography Of Red'
Red are my cheeks when you compliment me.
Red is the bacteria in the southern Red Sea.
Red is the blood that has been shed for freedom.
Red is the cover of Dutch yellow cheese, edam.
Red, too, the lips after lingering, hungry kisses.
Red marks the sector of bullseye misses.
Red is the power of a celebrity's walk.
Red, the color of love's angry talk.
Red is love, hate, romance, and rage.
Red is the ink that edits my page.
Red is sexuality and esteem.
Red Stars is a women's hockey team.
Red is the blood of Christ and the fires of Hell.
Red is the sound of the persistent death knell.
Categories:
edam, color, emotions, feelings, hate,
Form:
List
Blue Cheese
There is Cheshire, Red Leicester, Emmental and Brie,
Double Gloucester and Edam, a delight for all to see,
Stilton, Caerphilly, or Cheddar mature and mild,
Lots of subtle flavours to drive my taste bud’s wild.
There is Lancashire, Wensleydale or Derby to please,
So why, oh’ why, would you serve me Blue Cheese?
That smelly Blue cheese you know I cannot stand,
Give me Shropshire Mild, or something rather bland.
I don’t want that stinking dairy, in my salad box,
Opening the lid to an odour of sweaty socks.
So, hear my request I am begging of you please,
No more, no more, of that smelly blue cheese.
Categories:
edam, blue, food, funny, word
Form:
Rhyme
May the Dear Lord deliver us
Not from creatures carnivorous
But edibles less frivolous
Like cheeses odoriferous
Who gives a damn about Edam
First made in Dutch North Amsterdam
Or nutty-tasting Leerdam
And Czechoslovak Abertam
When some people find delicious
Or remain highly suspicious
Of a cheese that is nutritious
To say else might be pernicious
Called Kalimpong from West Bengal
As chewy as a rubber ball
Which doesn’t smell too bad at all
Or clog you with cholesterol
They're wrong. The foul effluvium
Causing our nasal odium
Creating pandemonium
As if it were plutonium
Is just a cheese no nose can bear
Once it’s been opened to the air
So, please, cheese eaters be aware
The culprit is your Camembert!
Categories:
edam, food, funny, humorous, mystery,
Form:
Rhyme
My missus has a liking for those cheese and onion crisps,
the taste and the aroma she finds tricky to resist.
Yet oddly the real thing she simply will not eat
but me I find the real McCoy is just so hard to beat.
My favourite is Danish Blue but boy, she gives me hell
not just the weird appearance she cannot abide the smell.
You'd think that I could get away with something like a Gouda
but no, I find if anything her nagging just gets louder.
For Gorgonzola I am itching, but she just keeps right on bitchin'
and I get relegated along with the cats from out the kitchen.
Both our cats fancy some Edam, but she simply will not feed 'em
since the thought of touching it can make her shudder,
her distaste remains stolid over anything that's solid
if it started off in life inside an udder.
Things did come to a head half an hour before bed
my breath smelt of cheese, she was not impressed,
took a good swipe at my head, spilled my wine on me instead
you could say that I was now Chablis dressed.
I cannot understand, with my cheddar in my hand,
why she won't try it for once but anyhow,
I can still console myself as I put it on the shelf that she has one thing in common-
she's a cow.
For contest- Here's my whine now pass the cheese, sponsor Phillip Garcia
A slightly bruised Viv Wigley, with a plate of Camembert, August 2nd 2016
Categories:
edam, food, humor,
Form:
Rhyme
I wonder what the moon would say
Should I invite him, down to play?
As he smiles from in the sky
Slowly winks his monthy eye
Stood at rainbow's pot of gold
I'd dine on moon cheese, I'd been told
A slice of Brie or Edam do,
A Tasty piece of Lunar Blue
To bounce and leap around the place
Would put a smile upon my face
Enjoy the lack of gravity
On every crest and cavity
I wonder what Moon would do?
Listen to a tune or two?
Beethoven, Strauss or Bach
Who sounds better in the dark?
Maybe watch cricket on the telly
Or winter games or Targa rally
I know, we could connect to Sky
To help him pass the hours by
Perhaps we'd roll him down the hill
Racing cheeses, what a thrill!
Wrapped up like Gouda all in red
With racing stripes around his head
Then feed him up on fish and chips
Ice cream cones with chocolate dips
Pineapple lumps for his sweet tooth
They're the best ain't that the truth?
When the sun began to sag
We'd send Moon home with doggy bag
Things to munch all through the night
To help him keep his shining bright
When morning comes we'd see him there
Still smiling down from in the air
Know inside that all was well
Quite some story, we could tell
GB
Categories:
edam, moon,
Form:
Rhyme
My busy muse I want always to please
For my taste buds it seems to have the keys
I bring out from within the deep freeze
Mouthful chunks of any one of these
Gauda, cheddar, or edam to appease
I’m fond of and crave for the choicest cheese
The first opportunity to eat I’ll blatantly seize.
If I’m writing a poem the ink’s flow will cease
I’ll forget to dot the i’s and cross the t’s
The unfinished poem will end as it is
The muse will fly away in the breeze
For it could not get the desired piece.
From luring slices relishing delight I’ll squeeze
I’ll do it for my muse with much joyful ease
As these will melt within the tongue’s crease
I’ll devour with pleasure the heavenly cheese
Finishing the poem the muse will be at peace.
__________________
May 12, 2022
Contrest : A Merger With Food
Sponsored by : Natasha L Scagg
Categories:
edam, analogy, food, muse,
Form:
Rhyme
At breakfast time, don’t give me eggs
Or pancakes or French toast;
Some coffee and a cheese-topped bagel
Is what I like most.
Gouda, Muenster, Edam, Swiss,
American or Brie;
Jarlsberg, Asiago, Jack –
They all work fine for me.
I’m not a fan of smelly ones,
And blue cheese I despise;
I guess I’m more pedestrian
And not so worldly-wise.
But still, I’d like to offer praise
To every type that pleases;
The world would be a sadder place
If it did not have cheeses.
Categories:
edam, food,
Form:
Rhyme
***I personally don't indulge in "soothing weed"
but the Dutch and many others certainly do***
Amsterdam
Dynamic charm along many contradictions encompass Amsterdam
House boats festoon canal while tenants toast wine and love Edam
True blue blonds cranking bikes synchronize pace crossing a bridge
Stoned laird hears enlightened souls chant verse perched on ledge
Safe from surging water churches dominate rooftops ogling a tram
Finely carved architecture tower above bars serving eggs and ham
Cafes offer soothing weed dazzling each mortal with such privilege
Fueling dreams of nirvana minds invoke desire to sharpen its edge
Penned: 06/16/2017
12:34 a.m.
Aboard cruise liner: Vision Of The Seas
Docked in Amsterdam, Holland
Categories:
edam, adventure,
Form:
Rhyme
If you look up, you will see, that the sky, is plainly greeN,
Mountains of clouds drift like Christmas evE,
Aval fo edam ylraelc era semoh noitacaV,
Gibberish! You might be thinking. But no, it was just backward day, as you can seE,
Interesting, you say the sky is blue? Well, I say something that ends with a “wrong” and starts with a “youR”,
Never have I heard something more preposterous! (Well, other than a word that ends with a “B”,
The tables have turned! Don’t you agree? Wait..what! You think the sky ISN'T green? Well, that's about as ridiculous as a cat that can purR!
I’m astounded by your betrayal! Why did you do it? And you dare start to arguE,
Oh, wait, what did you say? Look up? Well, alright, I guess I cA….
Never in my life would I have guessed! This is wonderfully astounding! The sky isn't green! No, it isn't at all! In fact, it's...pinK!
Categories:
edam, imagination,
Form:
Acrostic
I am an Indian, yet, of Steve Rogers, I have heard,
Though what I've heard, like fountain-pen writings timely blurred;
On legends, many talk, write and enact stories many,
Tough, of Steve Rogers, I had not heard thrill-tales any;
Until, once, I desired to visit the United State,
And know of places and people, that, by birth and deed, great...!
He was young energetic magnificent enlistee,
Rejected, owing his stature; he looked like a little bee;
It's, hence, his transformation into a super soldier,
Dubbing and duping in colors and shapes he grew bolder;
Became symbol of American justice and freedom,
His moral code resembled hard, yet, nourishing Edam...!
Buddha I remember; Jesus! Confucius has his place,
Muhammad or Nanak... each, in their times, remained true Ace;
Thinkers, theologians, scientists, sages and saints,
All have contributed and have been doing so till date,
I might place Captain America midst greatest of these,
As he offered his self turning this world a place of peace...!
26 May 2022
Captain America Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Robert James Liguori
Categories:
edam, people,
Form:
Rhyme
What was the official cheese used in the moon construction
Cheddar, ementhaller, gruyere, gambazola, edam or stilton
Okay, sorry times up
Twasn't real cheese but
If you've ever been close, you'd surely had your suspicions
Categories:
edam, silly,
Form:
Limerick
The taste and the delicious aftertaste,
Makes cheese a wonder milk production;
Healthy in sandwiches with chicken paste.
Well known grated in Italian dishes
Nothing tastes better than Parmesan,
For it as strong as was Ugly Betty.
The popular rubbery like Cheddar,
Used mainly in school sandwiches;
Commonly as birds of a feather.
The distinguish the Dutch Edam,
With it’s famous with the red skin;
It’s a pity it was in the time of Adam.
The holy cheese very sweet and tender,
The Swiss Gruyere my favourite one;
It is good to keep the body slender.
There are many more but I am not bothered,
Hoping with this one the contest I have conquered.
Monday 12th November 2018
Write a Poem About Cheese Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Barry Stebbings
Categories:
edam, food,
Form:
Rhyme
(noitide treah ruoy ekat) meop das a ekam ot tuoba ma I
(eno dah reve I fi) ytilaer fo esnes ym tsol evah I taht eveileb od I
(ti yas ot detnaw tsuj I gnihton sneam siht) sgniht emas eht of edam era su dna esrevinu eht derevocsid yltnecer evah I
(si rieht kcal eht ro) snoitome ym fo ytilaer eht tuoba klat ot ekil yllaer dluow I
(dlrow eht ti si ro) das flesym ekam I od … I
(thgif t’nod I fi raw a yllaer ton) cipot siht no flesym htiw raw egaw I
Wonk uoy od ereht uoy … uoy
(I neht elbasnes erom yluoivbo era uoy) esnesnon ym tsap deunitnoc evah uoy
(sey) em romuh ot emit eht ekat nac uoy
We will imagine that you , the physical phenomena your reading on, and I all have the same words (or is this reality?
Categories:
edam, absence, adventure, anger, anxiety,
Form:
Free verse
What's the official cheese used in the moon construction
Cheddar, ementhaller, gruyere, gambazola, edam or stilton
Okay, sorry times up
Twasn't real cheese but
If you get close, the smell could confirm your suspicions
Categories:
edam, moon,
Form:
Limerick