Best Dude Poems

There once was a fellow from Bude
Who loved to play golf in the nude,
Someone quipped "that thing, 
Has a hell of swing,
He sure is one well equipped dude."








Entry for
Make Me Laugh Limerick Contest Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Tania Kitchin.
29/8/2019...

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Are you in the mood
  for a poem about food
Something marinated, dude
  or grilled, barbequed

     Tangentially: 

Have you ever viewed  
  a painting in the nude
Meaning (if you're shrewd)
  that you are no prude... 

And would...

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At the final stroking of saint Halloween eve, it seems not so long ago,
That my trusty SUV, transport vehicle unceremoniously broke down,
Right outside the local pet cemetery, what a marvelous place to
Spend the spookiest night of the year, changing a flat tire right next
Door to...

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Not advertising that flippant flick. I just want to know
where my blooming flivver is. It ruffles my feathers no
end to find out, when exiting the embassy,
that my buggy's whereabouts are a mystery.

I must meet Sherry 'cause her right toe
wants a sweet kiss. Did the camel...

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She arrived from the big city
wearing a red ten-gallon hat,
and a denim stone-washed outfit
which topped off her shiny new 
cowboy boots that were designed
by Tucson Sue.

This dude ranch cowgirl had a secret,
she never rode a horse in her life,
she knew it was time to learn...

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My belly aint nearly full
Cause what I got I spend on this
I **** my brains all day
I find peace
If you want my peace...

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I love the lake

and I love the sky,

I engage in simulation of swimming through the shy,

I enrage my eye's with wisdom and fire,

I encase the revealer
because it's everywhere all the time,

I jack out my figure with a hand of time-

sleeping soundly 'till morning

and drinking the...

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Poetry ain't words dribbled out on the fly, 
It's execution, prostitution of the me who am I.
lettin loose my mongoose of thought provoking, while others be chokin,
gettin all Seuss you just some cat in a hat, 
Philosophies of Socrates rap your brain around dat,
Don't let...

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Madam… 
“Welcome”, She said
Who’s the ‘dude’
In your head
My hands shook
Her alter shined
Did she just
Oh yes she did!
She just looked
and read my mind
My hands shook
At a gust of wind
“don’t sweat the vase”
She smiled then…

Madam…
“Where have you been?”
The Doctor…
“Said you were Strange”
About.Time…
“You’re hear a.gain”
The Tomb
was mistaken when…

I...

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There was a small boy learning to play the keyboard across the street from where I used to live and he always played the theme to the movie Titanic...I think it was the only song he knew..one day I yelled across the street and asked...

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Dude, guess what?
Yesterday, I got to go through my dad’s dealership
and pick out a sweet ride for my 16th birthday!
It’s a convertible, dude
It’s a hot rod, dude
It’s red, dude
It’s a hot, hot rod
And it’s got chrome-covered wheels!
Wait until the guys get a load of this!
Dude,...

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Don't slide your arm around my shoulder
unless you want yours to be dislocated
Don't try to tell me I'm beautiful
trust me it's overstated and overrated
Don't ask me if you can get me a shot
I'll probably give you some lip
not the kind your thinking though
more like replying...

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There once was a dude named Dudley
By all accounts he was quite ugly
As hard as he tried
He put makeup on his eyes
He still wasn't sweet and sure wasn't cuddly


© Jack Ellison 2015...

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A cool dude in Delaware's thicket.
Wrote wonderful poems then said, "Stick it!"
     "I'll write them my way!"
     So what can we say?
You're TOPS!!  I tag you Jared Pickett!!!!...

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Limerick crochet: Once a dangling Dude got himself tattooed

Once a dangling Dude got himself tattooed
All over to make himself look pretty good
Only piece tattoo free
Was the retracting pPp:
So he installed stainless steel under hood.

He met a woman with scarce a stain
On her svelte body smooth...

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