Best Dud Poems

At the footbridge Sue was meeting her beau
(He was married to a woman called Flo)
Sue soon found out his deception
She dismembered his ********
For his love...

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Mom caught her boob in the washer’s wringer
Rotor made Mom an opera singer
    Tit for tat, she got redder
   ...

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(after Edgar Allan Poe's "The Angel of the Odd")

It was a tidy day and I sat, replete, under vellux blankets.
Sadly, my tea was weak, the...

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I hated homework - what a bore;
And wanted time to play.
I’d tolerate that stuff at school,
But that was during day.

We didn’t have a dog or...

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Violinist

Of all human evils
That happend in history
Bigger than Holocaust
It was not, and it will not be.

One Violinist was there
His life was violin string
He made the...

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Original limerick  written by Jan Allison


A petite ballerina named Tina
Seemed serene but she couldn’t be meaner
When she got in the sack 
She was on...

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maudlin

maudlin Monday's mostly mud
halts the weekend with woeful thud
laughs and sillies
get the willies
on maudlin Monday, what a dud

tintinnabulous

tintinnabulous Tuesday
is the second paying-dues day
we head uphill
but...

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8/27/18
"Big"



You're a puppy, I'm a big dog
You're a guppy, I'm a big cod
You're a tadpole, I'm a big frog,
You're a piglet, I'm a big hog
You're...

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We all need a Savior
In this world today
Because to enter Heaven
There is no other way.

So a Savior God did send
Jesus His own Son
For He is...

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Me: Say Charlotte, is your story true?
C: It’s fictional, now are we through?

Me: So are you rich from telling yarns?
C: I’ve got nice threads, but...

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To put an end to the myth that Santa lives in Lapland

Santa is a Yorkshire man everybody knows that
People just say he's from Lapland, cos...

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To stop the myth going around that Santa is a Scotsman, a huge hit on the radio here. So fo those that believe this is...

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Roger was an humble man, 
who dreamed of being a stud; 
for when it came to pleasure, 
poor Roger was a dud! 

He created a...

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Lazy Cow
Dr. James E. Martin
©May, 2013

The cow loved to chew her cud
As she lay in the cooling mud.
She was lazy you see,
As lazy as could...

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Florida Mosquitoes 

A boy stayed with his grandma one summer.
Mosquitoes loved him; it was a bummer!
They liked to drink his blood.
It never was a dud.
They...

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