Best Discounts Poems
I want to mingle
with the people of Walmart
as they regally push
their shopping carts
Eclectically dressed perfection
each a work of art
Camouflaged chic
or an old guy
dressed like a tart
Back and forth my eyes dart
Over there
a sequinned heart
and here
a bedazzled jacket
that looks real smart
Some saunter,
some sashay
reaching into pockets
and purses to pay
The happy faced discounts
make everyone’s day
Treasure troves in hand
life’s better than okay
See the flying nun
with her habit hiding her gun
Today’s discounted ammo
is tomorrow’s fun
As I watch her pay
I wonder if her beads and bullets
help her to pray
A coupon cowboy
basement bargain pleasure
a new pair of jeans
some pork and beans
for good measure
Get in, get out
no time for leisure
Here the world moves too fast
he don’t like the pressure
Low cut tight tops
girls searching for cheap
bargains galore
listen to the cash registers beep
I let the sights and sounds
into my brain seep
None of these people are sheep
humanity is well beyond skin deep
Lingering laughter later
might make it hard to sleep
Perhaps too much butt cleavage
and beep bleep bleep!
Inspired by Kurt Ravinda’s poem “A Metophor” his is a brilliant piece.
“Not many fake things are so nice for me, but I sure love an artificial tree.” quote by poem's author
We had to ditch last year our Christmas tree.
Worn out it was! We needed something new.
Big after-Christmas sales we went to see,
and huge discounts were more than just a few.
We saw a tree – not too small or too tall -
a beautiful white tree that was pre-lit.
There were no boxed ones left of it at all.
I liked it best, so “as is” we bought it.
We had to place it carefully inside
the back of hubbie’s truck, which worked okay.
In three parts it could come apart to hide
it till the time we’d put it on display.
I love the softness of its lights. It seems
like candy land! We did not know about
the way its lights give different types of beams.
We put it up and figured that all out.
Its colored lights can have a steady glow,
or they can stay one certain color, or
they can flash or brightly beam, then fade low.
I could not wait to get it on our floor!
Fun ornaments and garlands go around
that tree, which makes it a joy to look at.
Our two cute kitties very quickly found
our tree but don’t attack it. I’m glad for that!
With more than her share of fake news
Melania suffered the blues
From the President's sleuth
She soon learned the truth
And now spends her days with #MeToos
Our President once shared the thought
That Congress could never be bought
But one Russian tweet
Said Congress was cheap
So Ivanka bought the whole lot
The White House Easter Egg Hunt
Gave Ivanka the ideal front
With some huge discounts
From her Chinese accounts
She evaded every confront
Fabergé is quite a big debt
But not one that she would regret
Like the Easter Bunny
Our Congress is funny
Though the world is not laughing yet!
Donald Trump Junior once said,
"My Dad is the Giver of bread,"
But when Russian around
On foreign ground
Putin will feather his bed!
APRIL FOOL
How to Find the Shop
A whispered map for the bold, the broken, and the slightly curious.
--A cryptic guide for those who seek the odd, the magical, and the mildly cursed.
Read at your own risk.
Side effects may include wonder, confusion, and spontaneous teleportation.
It won't be there when you're looking.
But it might be
when you're lost.
Look for a door between bookstores--
one that blinks
and breathes.
Its doorknob may feel like bone
or a melted spoon,
depending on your mood.
Ignore the “Closed Forever” sign.
It's just for the faint of heart.
Step inside.
Yes, it will smell like burnt sugar, wet moss, and something
you loved in a past life.
That’s normal.
The walls shift. Don’t panic.
They’re just shy.
The shopkeeper will appear eventually--
a shadow with a crooked grin
and a name you’ve almost remembered once in a dream.
Do not ask for discounts.
Do not touch the orb labeled “Oops.”
Do not feed the candle.
But do browse.
Take your time.
The items may choose you.
When you leave,
you won’t know how you found it--
only that it found you.
And the catalog in your pocket
now has a new page
you don’t remember writing.
Gives that “you just found the secret code” energy.
MysticMisfits Product Line™
Coming soon to a dimension near you…
or already hiding in your junk drawer.
Happy Birthday, Son!
on your 50th year.
Celebrate while you can
and be of good cheer.
Son, don't be alarmed
as the years seem to fly by.
just five more to go
and you'll be fifty-five!
"Now, I'm one of those seniors,"
you'll mournfully say,
as coupons and discounts
fill your mailbox today.
AARP will be sending you mail.
And sellers to seniors
will be hot on your trail.
Soon, there'll be less partying
and painting the town red.
Instead you'll be welcoming
a warm bath and your bed.
May God bless all your days, Son,
with His wisdom and ever present love.
He'll always be there when you seek Him in prayer,
Your Savior, your Redeemer from above.
-----Love, Mom
.
~When retired Redneck take a vacation,
Needs not AARP’s senior discounts,
Motel tarpaulin costs are his passion,
A Redneck needs not large bank cash amounts.
~Give him some worms that squirm and North Fork Creek,
With wilderness trees, he’s very well pleased,
I’m Redneck quite sleek , have my own technique,
Head where wildlife frees, in mountain air breeze.
~My food still on hoof, venison is great,
There’s fish a plenty, may ride my Jenny,
Don’t need a debate, I’ll call my love Kate,
She’ll rough it with me, loves to fish you-see,
~Get Jenny some grain, I’ll clip her long mane,
City dudes are vain, drives Rednecks insane!
For and in Honor of: Carol Brown
And Contest: It’s Time For Vacation
…thirteen miners…
…only one survived…
…still clinging to life...
...with a history of violations...
It wasn’t West Virginia.
It was I.
And I’m taking the day off.
I know it won’t rhyme,
But I’ve been pummeled.
Run through the wringer.
It’ll be coffee now,
Black and bitter,
The way I like it.
Later, I’ll have some soup.
Chicken soup.
Chicken soup without the chicken.
Chicken soup without the broth.
I’ll just look at the can.
Art soup.
It wasn’t Warhol.
It was I.
…Sago Mine officials…
…two miles inside…
…280 feet down…
...Wall Street rallied on rumors…
… of sexual improprieties...
...deep discounts expected…
…news and talk all day…
…classical music all night…
But mostly just dead air.
…The president will be speaking later today...
...the leak came from a well-placed source…
It wasn’t his press secretary.
It was I,
…a suicide bomber in...
A place I can’t even pronounce.
Suicide?
In the realm of no-time,
Everything exists simultaneously,
Everywhere, nowhere.
Vast universes containing infinite sparks
Of universal consciousness
Erupting with intelligent randomness.
Everywhere.
Nowhere.
Nothing can be extinguished,
Merely transformed.
…Intifada…
…Gaza…
What does it matter?
It wasn’t Hamas.
It was I.
When Garrison Keillor Recites this poem
On Writer’s Almanac tonight,
He’ll speak different words
And attribute it to another author,
But that’s OK.
It wasn’t NPR.
It was I.
…thirteen miners…
… only one survived…
…still clinging to life...
...with a history of violations…
It wasn’t West Virginia.
It was I.
And I’m taking the day off.
Way back then
The customer
Was always right
Today
The customer
Is not always right
Is it really true?
The customer
Is always right
The customer
May believe
They’re always right
But in reality
Is usually wrong
Company guidelines
Unknown
Are designed
To benefit the customer
At times
Benefit the company
The customer
That’s always right
Tend to lose discounts
That benefit
At a company lost
Companies choose
To let a customer be right
Because a customer
Is always a customer
But not always right
There once was a man named Art
Who was thrifty and shopped at WalMart
He was happy with life
As he rode on his bike
Till the bearings fell apart ...
By: Kyle Ezra Kriticos
He is legend, folklore and for some reality,
an ape-hominid-like creature of many names;
he is Big Foot, Sasquatch, Yeti or wild man,
science discounts his existence, many believe,
six to ten feet tall,
five hundred pounds,
covered in brown fur,
a strong unpleasant odour.
The Indigenous people of Canada tell stories,
stories told of wild men living in British Columbia;
each tribe had its own version of this hairy creature,
who is said to be omnivorous and nocturnal,
very large eyes,
enormous large feet,
twenty four inches long,
wanders the deep forests.
Big Foot hunters have organized hunts in California,
gigantic footprints have been found in Bluff Creek;
miners in 1924 claimed they were attacked by Big Foot,
a Canadian prospector said he was abducted by Sasquatch,
sightings or hoax
stories, misidentifications
mystical creature
legend, folklore or reality
The scientific view is that there is no supportive data,
that many of the sightings and footprints have been false;
hoax's the newspapers have sensationalized on the facts,
but how can we reject the thousands of alleged footprints,
scattered over miles,
dismiss the witnesses,
the photographs taken,
the hundreds of stories told.
_____________________
April 17, 2015
Poetry/Verse/Chasing Footprints
Copyright Protected, ID 04-663-717-17
All Rights Reserved, 2015, Constance La France
For the Standard contest, Big Foot,
sponsor, A Poet Destroyer, Judged 05/2015
Second Place
We might not be rich
we might not be poor
Happy with what we have
but we ask for more
Nothing too expensive
nothing too cheap
Something for our pockets
so we can get some sleep
We need food on our table
and gas in our car
What we have in the bank
won't get us very far
Having each other
that's what counts
Clipping coupons
and getting discounts
Lighting a few candles
instead of the lights
Not having a heater
on those very cold nights
Better days are coming
just wait and see
I promise you that
my family
Vets ate free at Applebee’s
To honor them this day,
A heartfelt offer bringing
Good publicity their way.
Lots of stores gave discounts, too,
To soldiers with I.D.
And many took advantage
Of this generosity.
Every town and city had
A veterans’ parade,
With marching bands and waving flags
Quite jauntily displayed.
It shouldn’t be one day a year
To venerate our vets,
Whose sacrifices often bring
Such heartache and regrets.
We really cannot comprehend
How much their service cost;
Survivors often pay the price
For those whose lives were lost.
Our veterans deserve respect;
The military’s tough.
A gratis meal or dollars off
Is great, but not enough.
The discounts are now quite a few
And cause for a feeling that's blue
It's true--what a drag
As the parts start to sag
A bonus for age sixty-two
The Old Lady In The Shoe
November 22, 2013 at 5:57pm
Dedicated to all my children around the world;
The big and small of it.
Some appreciate the little
things that encourages
them to do big stuff.
Some won't say anything,
because they never
get enough.
N'ary a second thought they give.
Some think they are entitled to it
and know not of reciprocation.
Some think that they should always
be the center of your attention.
Some children you can
doat on, and give them
all you've got.
Then there are
those to who will never
reach out to offer invitation.
Never lend a helping hand
To execute your plans,
It's selfishness
that guides them
because they love you not.
Some children want to be heard
others just wanna be seen
but the unappreciative child
won't amount to a hill of beans.
Some children need a little push
while others need a shove
mothers can never tell a child
Which one who best she loves
When mothers see these attitudes
She knows which child
will pass life's test.
Some play in the corner
day-dreaming all alone
Some children keep
lots of company;While
others have one friend
that is all his own.
The one you devote
your time to
may not be the child
that does his best.
Some children need you more-
Some children need you less.
But the child that won't say
" thank you" mom....
and never listen to advice
is the ones that breaks
a mothers heart,and
discounts her sacrifice.
Some children need a little push
while others need a shove.
Some need a swift
kick in the pants
or maybe a wake up call;
Others just need
a little coddling:
But never does a child
deserve no love all
Just remember the old lady
who lived in the shoe..
She had so many children...
They said "she didn't
know what to do."
Mothers learn your child,
try to give each what he needs
The one that appreciates
their mother is...
more likely to succeed.
footnote : original version
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.She had so many children, she didn't know what to do;She gave them some broth without any bread;Then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.
Earlier version:
There was an old woman Who lived in a shoe,She had so many children,And loved them all, too.She said, "Thank you Lord Jesus,For sending them bread."Then kissed them all gladly and sent them to bed.
I'VE COME OF AGE
July 22nd 1947 to July 22nd 2012
I have come of age today
sixty-five years old,
I am of the age for Social Security,
or in some places, Old-age pension,
I am of the age to receive
Reduced Metro fare card,
or as in other places
Free bus pass, Free rides on the ferry,
even reduced air fare.
I have my AARP card
and a list of all the places
that offer discounts and Freebees.
I can demand
those special seats on the bus or train
that's set aside for the Elderly and Disabled
I am offically a Senior Citizen,
A Seasoned Saint,
or whatever you choose to call me.
I can complain if I choose to,
but why should I?
God has blessed me with
good health and strength,
Yes, the ticker is still ticking,
The engine is still running,
even though some parts
need a little oiling sometimes.
I can say and do whatever I please
as long as I don't break the law.
I will enjoy every minute of this time
that God has given me.
This is my time
and I will proudly shout,
I HAVE FINALLY COME OF AGE!