Best Disconsolate Poems
Beyond the sun's celestial dominion,
past purple shimmers of twilight,
I delve far beyond moonlight's golden glow
into the darkness of pilloried memories,
continually searching for answers but fail to find
those that keep my heart fettered in chains.
Within my restless sleep reveries trespass,
flowing through saturnine channels of my mind,
flooding my heart until only sorrow remains
with pensive images I thought I'd left behind.
I'm blinded, not by the bloom of starlight,
but by bewildering moments in time.
Dismal are the murky shadows looming
in the corners of these cavernous hollows.
They hover over my drubbing heart,
whispering taunts in descending echoes.
I grow impatient to end their clamor.
High is the morning's rushing tide,
reaching its frothy fingers out for me.
I rest on grains of moist ochre sand,
winnowing far beyond the limits
of disconsolate bereavement.
It's here that Autumn's demise
wears a shroud of withered leaves.
I lie quietly, waiting to close my eyes,
my tormented heart lingering in grief
that has haunted me since long ago.
As the sun begins its ascent from the sea,
dawn disturbs my quest for eternal peace.
October 8, 2022
2022 Marathon Mile 16 Contest
Sponsored by Mark Toney
~~~~~~~~~
Originally posted on 10~20~2016
Walking toward His grave, the cool air nipping at my nape on this chilly Nisan morning, feeling disconsolate. The sun has just risen over the Mount of Olives, while the magnificent temple basks in radiant light just beyond. I used to view the holy place with such reverence. Everything seems different now, at least for me. My head is still spinning over the events we witnessed this past week. The most compassionate man the world has ever known is no more. My spirit sank as they spat on him, hit him with their open hands and fists, beat him mercilessly with bone-braided whips, taunted him, cursed him, then accused him of being a blasphemer and seditionist. To the leaders of my nation he was an outcast, spiritually diseased, the Devil's offspring. And yet, the things we saw him do...
leper messiah
execrated pariah
nailed upon a tree
As I near the tomb where he lay my intent is simply to pray and pay homage, nothing more. Birds are singing sweetly, oblivious to the pain I am feeling deep in my heart. What will I do with the rest of my life now that he is gone? What will Peter and the others... Wait!
MY GOD! I cannot believe what I am seeing. Two guards lie on the ground before the tomb, as if dead. The huge stone, sealed with mortar at Pilate's command, has been rolled to the side, leaving the tomb wide open. What in heaven's name is going on? I glance around, no one in sight. Cautiously I enter. What I see now compels me to drop to my knees. In the place where his body was laid lies the garment that he wore upon the stake, bloodstained and rolled up neatly. Tears fill my eyes as the wonderment of what has happened, or might have happened, breaks my heart. Has his body been stolen? Has all of this been some sort of ruse? Just as I am contemplating recent events, two men in white robes appear beside me and say: "Young man, who are you looking for? This Jesus whom you adore has been raised up, as he explained to you on many occasions. Now go, He is waiting for you in Galilee." As mysteriously as they appeared they vanish before my eyes. One thought consumes me now in this sobering moment, I must spread the word. The Messiah, HE LIVES!
sweet sacred sunrise
dawning of a bright new day
birdsong fills the air
* See my companion poem - Golgotha
An Empty Kingdom
The news did spread, a kingdom’s will
For sorrow placed its shadowed hand
‘Pon castle steps the crowd did fill
As heart break took a firm command
The skies, a darkened clouded stain
As children wept in mother’s fold
Now lost amidst a dismal rain
This hour of sadness frigid cold
How could it be, their precious queen
Had fallen to a woeful stead
A tethered seed, nightmarish deem
Her majesty this day is dead
The knight, of shining armor might
Her lifeless body cradled deep
Staring straight to heaven’s light
Then bowed his head, began to weep
He raised her body ever strong
Carried her through chambered door
An empty hallway wide as long
Depleted by this mournful chore
The villagers of forlorn feel
Gathered in the dampened street
The plight of loss in full reveal
Disconsolate of death’s defeat
When then upon horizon’s glare
A silhouette of staggered steed
Towards the kingdoms stricken stare
In slow methodic steps proceed
This figure slumped of saddle ride
And weary strains of wistful yearns
Through gates of iron, wandered stride
A shout rings out, “Our king returns”
Dance to the rhythm of my heart
Can you feel the vibration?
Can you feel it from head to toe?
I listen…to your melody – a gift to unwrap
It’s a healing potion to this lonely man without a roof on his head
How can You craft such marvelous miracles?
*chorus*
Dare to wonder
What I’ve become…so numb
Dare to wonder
What I dream…not like some
Break free from wretched reality
Dare to wonder
How it feels to be…free!
Freedom has a high cost – it’s not free
Pay the price
Roll the dice
My prize to you is my love
You made me merrily sing from the start…
Can you hear me longing for you?
Can you elevate me above the disconsolate clouds?
I watch keenly at your performance – a dream come true
It’s GOOD LUCK in disguise – it took hard work, man!
How can you surprise me with your trippy talent?
*double chorus - both differentish*
Dare to wonder
What I’ve become…so numb
Dare to wonder
What I dream…not like some
Break free from wretched reality
Dare to wonder
How it feels to be…free!
Freedom has a high cost – it’s not free
Pay the price
Roll the dice
My gifts of expressing inner love
Dare to wonder
What I’ve become…a naughty boy who loves
To cause trouble and what not
Dare to wander
In my eloquent dreams…wrapped up in wings of doves
I deliver it to you ‘cause you’re hot!
Break free from plastic reality
Dare to wonder
How it feels to be…truly happy!
Freedom is free – for us thankfully
No need to pay the price
Drop those silly dice!
My present to you is my peace I hand to you
~bridge~
We’ll rejoice all day long
As long as we enjoy this song
Dare to wonder
How I put it all together?
Inspiration is key – it’s like catching a light feather
And letting it float about in the swirling sky
I release my passion and write it down on paper
It’s merely a work of art –
It’s original from the young heart
I don't know of anyone who's been successful
in an attempt to capture the encumbrance
of a love pledged and then withdrawn,
nor how to heal a heart from its fallibility.
So, I'm left wondering...
when did the shallow waters of intense love
become too deep to tread?
When did the waves thrash so powerfully
that I was unable to keep my head above them?
I was drowning in the chaos churning in my heart.
Tearful were my eyes in a state of mourning.
Weeping while bereaved and casting a silent plea.
Desperate in the need to escape the captive prison
when my heart was found guilty of gullibility.
Imprisoned by love's bars, unable to take flight,
I was the swan who had lost her mate,
without hope of ever wanting to fly again.
Broken vows are like wounded wings,
and therein was my heart's pitiable plight.
Is it never to be relieved of the agonizing ache?
In gloom of anguish, I gasped one last breath
before crossing the chasm between love and hate.
Too late to beseech my heart for help.
Spurned, it was lamenting over love's death.
Disconsolate, emotions in disarray,
I held a pressed rose he'd lovingly offered,
crushed it in my hand as if I were the flower.
With the power of penance, I reprimanded myself
for having trusted in the pledge of love.
I sacrificed the withered petals,
tossed them on the wind's wayward whims.
Niggled by the feeling of emptiness and loss,
I felt as if I'd just laid them on my own grave.
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” Rumi
Upon my quest for quintessence.
I was an amorist,
positive in poetic philosophies.
Elysian and empyrean effigies,
enlightened in an ephemeral existence.
Life a fragile garland
festooned with a frangipani fragrance,
meandered in meadows of melodies,
a mouthpiece to a frivolous flute
but gone are lucent lusory lullabies.
I turned to the ballad of birds.
Dulcet desires dreamed of diamond drops,
dulcifluous, dulciloquent and diaphanous.
Delusions led to an interpretation of illicit illusions.
I became a metaphor for afflicted adjectives.
Mimesis mind became brittle and barren,
aphonic and amort - a crestfallen conscious.
A wild wallflower in an orchard of opal orchids,
slowly decomposing - in silent semblance
clocks won't stop for sojourners of the soul..
I searched for footprints left behind,
upon porcelain seraphic shores,
but knavish kismet lay lamenting,
disconsolate upon a distant island,
manifesting murmurations of a
maleficent maelstrom monsoon.
My life was once a
razzmatazz of reflections
gold, ivory and bronze,
but now silver sighs slither,
releasing a soft susurrus,
as once sapphire sylphlike skies are
now vermillion and violet visions.
Haematic horizons close the gates to heaven,
yet in my ruins, I know there is fortune,
as I polish my mirror of misfortune,
hoping it glows in canorous colours.
Love surrounds us…though people take it for granite
Oh, but we’re unaware of it! We’re ignorant of it at times of tribulation
Vibrant, vermillion roses float in the swaying wind, like feathers, passing me by with a smile and a friendly wave
Everyone is embracing hate instead of love, embracing havoc instead of peace – WHERE IS THE LOVE?
I am longing to feel like I belong! The church bells repeats its penitent bells
Saddened by the fact that I’m trapped in my comfort zone of callous night…I want to be unchained from this solitary cave…but no angels tread the road that I’m currently on unfortunately
Hate rips my heart apart and throws it in the heartless fire…love is invisible like a caved in treasure
Ashamed because I always wanted to find avarice-devouring love, restoring joy to my absent-of-vanity verse
Rain descends like the sunset as my spirit ascends like the sunrise above the disconsolate clouds
Drenched in heartfelt relief…of experiencing love on another level – I’ll bring back to life my faith towards You once more
Tattered by heart’s wistful thumping…replace my heart with beauty’s caress and harmony, for I’m desperately in need of a savior
Owned by hatred, the monster that appears in my nightmares, the vile leader of rancorous wolves…
Fly away from the darkness that made you drink in desolation and devastation
Isolated by bliss and joy – overflowing with lamentation
Never able to find a mixture of serenity and exaltation…maybe I’ll find it in the forest’s quietude
Destined to unlock my heart’s desire…however, love is hard to find, for I’m a hopeless, romantic boy, foolish in love and frankly…blind!
It twas a dark and disconsolate night
I walked lonesome alleys, as I clenched myself tight
It was very cold that night, there was no single light
The ground shivered my feet, I’m in a need of heat.
I’ve ran away from my master
He can no longer hurt me, my life is in a disaster
I have nowhere to run, I have nowhere to hide
My life is filled with lies
Thoughts run through my head, I began to dread
My mother - She lied to me
She said I was safe and that she would come back
What she said to me was not a fact
I’ve been stuck with a stranger, that I do not know
A stranger that I do not wish to call a friend nor a foe.
Oh my, where can I go?
I’ve been stuck in hole and so has my soul.
How can someone be so low?
I have reached age twenty-three,
But yet I do not wish to breathe,
I wish to die alone.
I have nothing, but bruises to show.
My mother and this Man, hath ruined me
All I wanted was a family.
I am age twenty-three, there is a bump beneath these rags I wear,
Soon to turn into something I will not care for.
It belongs to the stranger, the man who put me in danger
I have a plan, that will end it all
Something that will allow me to hang tall,
I will end mine and also my embryo’s life.
Written: January 06, 2024
______________________________________
Shimmering swaths
of cerulean sea
ionize comely light
purple-tinged sand
strewn with tattered shells
during low tide,
summon imperial thrones,
tartly lovely youth
amid sparkling Tyrian swells,
whilst peering
solace amid
vibrant splendor
of landscape,
as serene slopes
and lucid pleas prevail,
I wait with ebbed breath
for an ethereal grace
to ignite a spark
of hope.
We haven't touched yet,
we're just syncing
over ariose love song,
as warm rain and clouds—bow
"Salut d'amour",
violins string opalescent tones
that rise and fall in pitch,
as a link to ink
an iridescent origami doodle
of a jewel-lit song,
summer nights of
ochre acrylics—a plethora
of fairy flickers and fireflies
amid a flurry of filigree,
to inveigle her into playing.
We draw on our kinship
as we float freely,
over crestfallen ocean
a pen swayed in time,
with an Elysian rim
on my horizon,
I whirl my love whims
and swirl the walnut wood
in disconsolate loops,
In a spice grist mill
sprinkles to spice my life.
Keys and gaunt codes
to demure this dalliance
served with Mirabelle tart
and for the sake of Muscat,
as the breeze tickles
those are my shutters
I fantasize about lying,
over her fastidious breast
as empyreal lee of
a sun-kissed knoll,
should she ever grasp
my hand and our
lips converge,
in an esoteric way
would we fit snugly?
as a dovetail joint in unison,
or would we plummet?
to our deaths
in shattered light?
8th place contest winner
Come my beloved
rest long within
the ethereal reaches
of my haven
within my sanctuary
rest your wickedly disconsolate
mind and so lay in repose
absolve yourself in shadows
cast for you
renew yourself in
the mist of my creation.
Crush me with your suffering
and your broken dreams
and your histories and your
deadliest deceptions
those cunning slayers of
all your hopes
so as I cast spells from
my dying contemplations
my terrible meditations
far West
I can obliterate them
annihilate their affect
vanquish their theme.
Envelope me in your angst
in your sorrow and your grief
as I lay dying
behind black embers
buried in the debris
of my decaying magic
ignite my cold conjurings
into vivid imaginations
into vibrant vagrancies
impress upon me
your utter depravities!
Suffocate me with
your inglorious sufferings
that I might ever
fixate on them
ruminate their demise
fashion my incantations
while I sleep
in the furthest
reaches of my
dread desolate world
while I sleep
in my secret realm
that ancient city
forged from mystic sands
which drift far and wide
far beyond the sphere of
creations glorious cosmos.
Written: December 29, 2023
___________________________________________
Mahogany motionless shadows
cast by deceitful sun,
a caterwaul unravels,
coeval betrayal
voice beckons glimpses
—of anguish
within the heart loci,
once pure and corpulent,
now rapt by crestfallen darkness,
bereavement blight.
synchronous with aquifers
Interfluve ferri-crete...
desultory.
A love so tender,
akin to a fragile bloom,
now withered and wilted,
lost in the gloom,
a vow is broken
trust shattered in shards
of diaphanous slogans
leaving behind, disconsolate
heartbreak—real misery abounds.
In magenta shadows
cast by a deceitful sun,
whispers of deceit,
waltzed in the wind,
saffron sun rays
masked the spuriousness
in perfidy of truth,
as a venomous snake—slither
exposing whopper &
taradiddle
causing hearts to wither
In depths of darkness,
truth did reside,
unveiling deceit,
where love once thrived,
a web of lies spun
entangling hearts
in a web of
perfidiousness
deviousness
guilefulness
& flimflam
how the heart weeps,
its innocence lost,
It once held love's warmth
betrayal wound is effusive.
A turbulent ocean
of bereavement
overwhelms this heart
eviscerate...
& in egregious pain
no relief in sight
only an aching hole
despite sorrow
mercilessly embraces
a glimpse
of grace and hope,
yet, darkness...
holds strength
empyreal resilience.
Written: August 16, 2025, for contest by Unseeking Seeker
Line of inquiry:
"conjoined with the whole - we play our life role
exuding a scent - granting love consent"
************
Conjoined with the Whole
Not as sovereigns,
but as sylphlike strands,
woven into a ductile tapestry—
Each act of kindness forges
a bond within the communal consciousness.
Love is not a shadowy incantation,
nor a glamour to inveigle us into isolation.
It is hortatory, beckoning forth...
a rosy summons to convene,
amid the clangor of squalor and sojourn
to supplant the slipshod ache
with a warm intention.
We are not mere wanderers
adrift in nebulous vacuum—
We are emulous embers,
thirsting for the amaranthine,
avid to imbue our days,
with seraphic resonance.
Community is not a chimera,
It is pavonine in its iridescent truth,
multivocal in its sweet sorrow,
edacious for connection
but never laden with avarice.
We do not dismiss the burden—
We collocate it, we share it
withdraw from silence,
and cast aside the Icarus myth,
a tale of solitary flight,
Even the untamed child.
crumbles for the quest of kinship—
Even the weary elder winnows,
the soothing balm of a neighbor’s touch.
Love sanctions its courtliness—
not merely a whispered sigh,
but as a philanthropic deed,
a calyx protruding,
amid the clamor of desire.
To love is to be an iconoclast
to find solace in a gentle embrace—
to forbear the yearning
to anathematize others
to witness the evocative elysian—
in the eyes of the distraught.
We are not aphonic.
We are harmonious,
even in our disconsolate times.
We are evocative, full of meaning,
even when our souls feel drained.
And when we reflect,
We accomplish this together—
in the emollient of shared grief,
in the soothing touch of shared joy.
So let us frolic with abandon,
Let us explore the hidden meadows of our lives.
Let us gather in our joy,
transcendent in our understanding,
Our sense of self is transient.
Let us be love—
not as an elusive dream,
but a tangible act.
Let us be united with the whole.
And play our life roles.
with eloquence
vibrancy,
and grace.
Dark thoughts and desires are just that for a reason...human beings are prone to irrational thoughts, and we all carry secrets that drip into the blackness of our bleeding souls, extending downward below our fetal positioned graves.
Caught up inside my morbidity, concealed the mystery of my subconscious,
sinister stemming from evil, inside my dismal grim, I choked on regret and fed off your disconsolate lies and I believed them, as much as you believed...
I wanted to live...
depths bleed into hell
shared defeat only for us
morbid and alone
Living is nothing but a curse, stitches on my wrists, and spirals down into the oblivion of hell. My contradictions are breeding with my veins as I prepare for the longing of your misery....
...your misery is me.
I am your distal demon, sucking the life from your brave intentions, my weak intentions reach a depth, so far I can not see without hearing your screams. Your shadow's are killing me, but I'm needy for the weightlessness you throw at me daily...nightly...daily...non stop recurrence putting me to sleep, way too young...I tied myself up and kicked away your chair, left with out breath, and still, no one to turn to...
the fiend within me
sleeping in our graves too young
your curse inside me
There are two of me...
One.... broken and damaged...alone and afraid...yearning, longing to free myself from all the hatred bottled up inside my core. Fighting for life beneath the hell of destruction, worshiping black to find my grey..for there will never be white...
Needing you to show me every twisted path I believe should be mine. May your breath crack my bones and your eyes tear my flesh to pieces. Then...I am one who will stand up for your wicked endeavors and concrete sacred thoughts of me not being able to live anymore...
no more life to live
broken you and broken me
no more pain to give
Date Written: December 27, 2015
From the brow of the hill
I could clearly see the panorama
Beneath me. Worried I saw
From afar a dark man,
Scythe in hand reaping…..God knew what.
In far off fields full of tall grass.
It was not the man who interested me.
It was my wife, a marriage of forty-seven years.
I saw her hobbling down an uneven path,
Her body bloated with disease.
She never looked back.
Strange I thought,
There were no birds around.
Only profound silence.
Arriving at a crossroad,
Without hesitation
She took the right narrow trail.
My heart thundered in pain.
I knew what was in her mind.
Incautiously she arrived at a bridge.
Thick fog covered the other side
An extension that led to unknown worlds.
Head straight but body limping
She dragged herself over.
Helpless I looked on till she disappeared.
Disconsolate I sat down on a stone.
She had suffered enough. She will now rest forever.
But I? Will I find some salutary rest?
I felt the pain of separation.
From afar a bell chimed an Ave Maria dirge.
There is always two sides of a coin,
Yet, whenever we flip a coin, we always know the side that we hoping for.
But every story has a two side, and so is life.
But we always consider one side that we like,
And forget that, the outcome can be what we dislike,
But such is life.
In every situation, we wants to remain only positive.
So we don’t prepare to meet outcome in case they become negative.
But life, in many situation is dependent on the theory of determinism.
So I suggest, we create, a vacuum, in our lives, for an attitude of negativism.
Blessed,
Blessed is he, who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.
And disgruntled, is he, who expect something, for we might not achieve the expected.
But since we always chooses a side,
We will always become gutted when things doesn’t go our way.
Yet, we should be strong to pick up the coin and toss another day.
And let us not our fall defined or destroy us, nor deterred or defeat us
But it should rather make us strong and strengthened us.
But if only we ready to respect every outcome,
There will be nothing like a stun to make an outcome a thunderbolt.
Hitler once said, everyone can deal victory, but for defeat, only the mighty can bear
But life is just like a tossed coin,
So its outcome shouldn’t be miraculous.
Just that, our nemesis makes we think we will always be vanquished.
And that always makes us sluggish
Many situations are fate worse than death.
That we sometimes consider them as myth.
But despite the catastrophe,
Let us not be disappointed, but let us fight till we lift up our trophy
Let us learn to embrace every outcome with a mirth?
Because that can reduce our pain when we become hurt.
But even if we become disconsolate,
Let us continue to say, it is not too late.
But I think we shouldn’t be dillydally, but be hurry.
To pick up the coin and toss again.
Life is full of uncertainties.