Notes About The Poem
   Sara's Chaos in My Heart Contest  ~  4/17/2025

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Premiere Contest WinnerThe Chaos in My Heart

I don't know of anyone who's been successful 
in an attempt to capture the encumbrance 
of a love pledged and then withdrawn,
nor how to heal a heart from its fallibility.

So, I'm left wondering...
when did the shallow waters of intense love
become too deep to tread?
When did the waves thrash so powerfully
that I was unable to keep my head above them?
I was drowning in the chaos churning in my heart.

Tearful were my eyes in a state of mourning.
Weeping while bereaved and casting a silent plea.
Desperate in the need to escape the captive prison 
when my heart was found guilty of gullibility.

Imprisoned by love's bars, unable to take flight,
I was the swan who had lost her mate,
without hope of ever wanting to fly again.
Broken vows are like wounded wings,
and therein was my heart's pitiable plight.
Is it never to be relieved of the agonizing ache?

In gloom of anguish, I gasped one last breath 
before crossing the chasm between love and hate.
Too late to beseech my heart for help.
Spurned, it was lamenting over love's death.

Disconsolate, emotions in disarray,
I held a pressed rose he'd lovingly offered,
crushed it in my hand as if I were the flower.
With the power of penance, I reprimanded myself
for having trusted in the pledge of love.

I sacrificed the withered petals, 
tossed them on the wind's wayward whims.
Niggled by the feeling of emptiness and loss,
I felt as if I'd just laid them on my own grave.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2025

Poem

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Callus Avatar
September 7, 2026 at 9:52 AM
This poem is powerful, expressive and deeply emotional, Lin. How does one deal with "crossing the chasm between love and hate"?! Will the pain ever subside? ~ Take care, my friend // paul
Borg Avatar
August 25, 2026 at 7:09 AM
Hauntingly beautiful and sad! I am not one for tears, but my eyes felt moist. If I was to quote a favourite line here I would have to quote the whole poem. I read it, re-read it and listened to your haunting voice again and again. A very worthy winner of a trophy well deserved.
Lane Avatar
August 25, 2026 at 10:09 AM
Pascal, to know that my lines bring emotional pain to a reader, (I will not differentiate between genders for I feel the mark of a man is to shed a tear if the need is there) that's a great compliment and I generously thank you for sharing this with me. ✨
Godwin Avatar
August 23, 2026 at 2:40 PM
OH, this weighs most heavy. How good it would be to say I can't relate because I really don't, but I can and I do which is why I feel the weight. This poem is worth sticking a pin in. I'm going to have to shake it off. Beautifully written as is your consistent writing result. Hugs ... CayCay
Lane Avatar
August 25, 2026 at 10:07 AM
Thank you for appreciating the heaviness of emotions in this one, CayCay. I hope the burden of weight has been lifted now, for I'd never want to leave you feeling my angst. Hugs for your kind words of praise, sweet friend.
Beaufort Avatar
August 13, 2026 at 8:43 AM
Hi Lin, you capture the sadness of love and attraction that doesn't work out as we might hope. Some get stuck in the bad of this sensation. We try not to. What is our subconscious telling us as we constantly think about this thing rather than go on with life and make the best of what we have. This is a valuable poetic lesson for many of us. Mourning a loss like this might take a lifetime, but we sure hope not!! Sending smiles and thanks for writing this!
Lane Avatar
August 13, 2026 at 9:28 AM
Hi, Duke. Sometimes, try as we might we cannot completely let go of the past. Thank you for always reading me. I value our friendship.
Gibbons Avatar
August 1, 2026 at 6:12 PM
Awwww 😢 just found this Lin I so felt every emotion as I listened to a write ✍️ from the very depth of a hurting heart 💔 so beautifully read love listening to your voice. Made it real true depth of every emotion. I🥲 that song Love Hurts has been so real for you and me too." Imprisoned by loves bars " I reprimanded myself for having trusted in the pledge of love" hugzzz I'm fav this so I can easily find it again 🕊️💕🫂
Lane Avatar
August 13, 2026 at 9:27 AM
Thanks for reading my pin of an older one, Dotti. This one with a voice recording. It was a titch emotional but I'm glad you liked it.
Jama Avatar
April 24, 2025 at 12:32 PM
Congratulations on placing in my contest. There are no words that can truly express how heartbreakingly beautiful your poem and spoken are. "I was drowning in the chaos churning in my heart.," immaculately describes the loss of love. And you last stanza, transports me to the pages of a victorian gothic novel where love goes unrequited. Brilliant write.
Lane Avatar
April 24, 2025 at 7:08 PM
I am seriously honored to have received your contest trophy, Sara. You found a lot of wonderful words that make me feel worthy of being on your winning list. Thank you for your gracious support.
Liguori Avatar
April 24, 2025 at 9:38 AM
Congratulations on your trophy win. Your poem is heartfelt.
Lane Avatar
April 24, 2025 at 11:28 AM
With sincere thanks, Robert. This one was difficult for me to write and more so to read.
Guptar Avatar
April 23, 2025 at 12:12 AM
Heartiest congratulations dear poetess on your top win in this contest with a poignant poem so skilfully crafted with eloquent imageries. Particularly loved stanzas 2 and 7. May the light of divine blessings bring some solace to the "tearful eyes" in "anguish".
Lane Avatar
April 23, 2025 at 3:16 AM
Thank you, Krish. These lines were steeped in emotion, but they were written with the contest theme in mind. My eyes are smiling these day... I appreciate your concern.
Daniel Avatar
April 22, 2025 at 2:40 AM
Deep dark poetry, Lin, well penned, congratulations:)
Lane Avatar
April 22, 2025 at 4:25 AM
Hi, Joanna and thanks for your congrats. Going dark is not something I usually do, but it surprises me that I can.
Jama Avatar
April 21, 2025 at 5:09 PM
Wow, this poem is beautifully haunting. I particularly loved, "Broken vows are like wounded wings," and "I felt as if I'd just laid them on my own grave." Your imagery captures the depth of heartache so vividly. Truly a poignant reflection on love and loss. A well deserved win. Congrats
Lane Avatar
April 21, 2025 at 9:36 PM
Thank you for your generous thoughts, Billie. Your comments are always so very insightful.
Allison Avatar
April 21, 2025 at 1:29 PM
such an emotional piece Lin, no wonder you got top spot, sorry i missed reading this gem before now, the audio is exceptional:-) hugs Jan xx
Lane Avatar
April 21, 2025 at 1:33 PM
Hi, Jan and thank you for the reading and listening. You didn't miss a thing, Chick.
Empress Avatar
April 21, 2025 at 1:16 PM
Congratulations on your well deserved trophy win! This deserves a double trophy! Happy to see this aching poem acknowledged!
Lane Avatar
April 21, 2025 at 1:32 PM
aww, I am so very happy that Sara liked it enough to place it on her winning list. And thank you, Ink for letting me know of it in your comments. ;-)
Cunningham Avatar
April 18, 2025 at 3:53 AM
Quite an emotional write Lin, rejection and a broken heart take a long time to get over. Love the audio too. Tom
Lane Avatar
April 18, 2025 at 7:04 AM
Sometimes a heart never fully recovers from what it's lost. Thank you for listening and reading me, Tom.
Willason Avatar
April 17, 2025 at 11:26 PM
You make exquiste music from pain dear Lin...always finding the right words to hold the emotional intensity without it spilling over the edge. The reading only enhanced the intensity and made the poem come alive in the underlying rythms that give it that gravity. You are a master of this form. Though sad it is counterbalanced by the joy in the act of creating such art. Take care, Paul
Lane Avatar
April 18, 2025 at 7:03 AM
If these lines were put to music, Paul there'd be droning notes of a moody saxophone and blues from a guitar. Thank you for your compliments on both my writing and the audio. You always so graciously offer your compelling insight.
Dietrich Avatar
April 17, 2025 at 11:18 PM
Wow. So good, Lin. I wish I could write on this but I have not really experienced it in such a was to do it with such emotion as you did.
Lane Avatar
April 18, 2025 at 7:01 AM
I'm pleased to know you haven't had the experience of such emotions to not be able to write about them. Thank you for your kind remarks, Andrea.
Empress Avatar
April 17, 2025 at 11:10 PM
Dear linnersz, This is such a poignant and evocative poem that made my heart ache so deeply and soul stir just eloquently, with your sincere and pain-struck word weaving and voice that depicts the depth of loss, losing love, and to be left to heal is never easy, i especially love "I was the swan who had lost her mate, without hope of ever wanting to fly again. Broken vows are like wounded wings" gosh! That hits the deepest! Felt that so strong! "I sacrificed the withered petals, tossed them" the ending there shows acceptance of fate, and crestfallen stars of love, but still, true love never fades, amidst all! This is one of those poems that made me cry! Really! It is very impactful! I think sara would agree! Best wishes in the contest! Sending you light always
Lane Avatar
April 18, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Thank you for sharing your emotions with me on these lines, Ink. I'm sorry it made you cry, but it's a poet's best hope that what we write affects a reader in such an emotional way. I always appreciate knowing what lines stand out to you and other readers. We'll see what Sara thinks of it. ;-)
Pachecho Avatar
April 17, 2025 at 10:20 PM
Lin, I like this poem because it's raw and emotional. There are little stories within your poems. Your anecdotal style of writing comes without a whole bunch of chocolate-dipped words or mumbo jumbo. But instead, your poems take the reader on a path that's relatable and understanding.
Lane Avatar
April 18, 2025 at 6:56 AM
Thanks, Connie. There nothing as sweet as chocolate when the heart is aching from lost love. I understand and appreciate what you're saying about my style of poetry, and your thoughts are taken to heart.
Beaufort Avatar
April 17, 2025 at 5:16 PM
Lin, you make a very good point. If someone expresses love and then withdraws it, that's particularly tough to deal with. Being rejected at the start is much easier to deal with. I hope you are well and feeling all the love surrounding you!! Smiles!!
Lane Avatar
April 17, 2025 at 6:40 PM
I’m quite well, Duke. Thanks for so many wonderful comments you leave for my poetry.
Turner Avatar
April 17, 2025 at 12:12 PM
A very sad poem indeed, Lin. sometimes love can be very cruel, leaving a once swollen heart deflated and broken. However, the world never stops for a broken heart. Life goes on. Very well written as always.
Lane Avatar
April 17, 2025 at 1:29 PM
It truly is, Danny. Repair is slow, if ever at all, making 'life goes on' the only choice. Thank you for reading me and leaving your thoughts.
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