Empirical Deceitfulness

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Written: December 29, 2023 ___________________________________________ Mahogany motionless shadows cast by deceitful sun, a caterwaul unravels, coeval betrayal voice beckons glimpses —of anguish within the heart loci, once pure and corpulent, now rapt by crestfallen darkness, bereavement blight. synchronous with aquifers Interfluve ferri-crete... desultory. A love so tender, akin to a fragile bloom, now withered and wilted, lost in the gloom, a vow is broken trust shattered in shards of diaphanous slogans leaving behind, disconsolate heartbreak—real misery abounds. In magenta shadows cast by a deceitful sun, whispers of deceit, waltzed in the wind, saffron sun rays masked the spuriousness in perfidy of truth, as a venomous snake—slither exposing whopper & taradiddle causing hearts to wither In depths of darkness, truth did reside, unveiling deceit, where love once thrived, a web of lies spun entangling hearts in a web of perfidiousness deviousness guilefulness & flimflam how the heart weeps, its innocence lost, It once held love's warmth betrayal wound is effusive. A turbulent ocean of bereavement overwhelms this heart eviscerate... & in egregious pain no relief in sight only an aching hole despite sorrow mercilessly embraces a glimpse of grace and hope, yet, darkness... holds strength empyreal resilience.

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Judy Ball

Date: 12/30/2023 10:15:00 AM

This is such and emotional piece. One feels the pain of rejected love and an abiding emptiness. Really good imagery here. Well Done my friend. God Bless and Happy New Year. JB

Ink Empress

Date: 12/30/2023 2:56:00 AM

Ah, this is brilliant and so profound and meaningful, how youve described what deceit could do to hearts that once thrived, in such captivating metaphors and lyrical alliterations. I love the flow of this moving write and also your wordplay here is impeccable and so very creative. Especially loved the lines “ crestfallen darkness,“ “ venomous snake—slither exposing whopper & taradiddle” soul hitting! How descriptive you are. “ A turbulent ocean of bereavement.. “ felt that! Nailed it. FAVE

Mat Ignacio

Date: 12/29/2023 6:06:00 PM

you have such a creative abilty to articulate your thoughts in new and intriguing ways - there are many beautiful lines in this, with many possibilities for other worlds to manifest - well done

Sara Etgen-Baker

Date: 12/29/2023 2:31:00 PM

Wow, Sotto, you've outdone yourself with this one!! Aside from the alliteration and metaphors, you've expressed a host of emotions stemming from heartbreak and shattered vows. I felt the pain and the anguish and then the acceptance and resilence. I especially liked these lines: in egregious pain no relief in sight only an aching hole despite sorrow mercilessly embraces a glimpse of grace and hope, yet, darkness... holds strength empyreal resilience. Well done, sir, your poetess friend in Texas

Sara Kendrick

Date: 12/29/2023 1:52:00 PM

If for a contest, it reads like a good contender to me. Way to go. Thanks for sharing your lines with us and for dropping by my page. Sara K

Silent One

Date: 12/29/2023 11:49:00 AM

I loved this one.. masterfully employs a variety of poetic devices, including alliteration and vivid metaphors, to convey the intricate emotions of heartbreak and the aftermath of shattered vows. The progression of the verses, from the initial deceitful shadows to the unveiling of truth in the depths of darkness, unfolds a narrative of pain and loss. The choice of words like "taradiddle" and "flimflam" adds a touch of irony, highlighting the hollowness of the promises that once held weight...

Shadow Hamilton

Date: 12/29/2023 11:32:00 AM

I feel so brevet this poem reaches deep into the heart and tears it out by the roots excellent write Dear Sotto hugs Shadow