Best Diagnosis Poems

Written for Andrea Dietrich, a remarkable, talented human and sincere, caring friend


I’ve never even met her, we’ve never shared space,
Yet I continuously, tenderly, view her face.
She woke one same ole’ morn, on her same ole’ street
To retire that night with terror lying under her sheets.

She’s...

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Lancing, shooting pain
Stabs to the left side - sternum
Doctor notes: Love lost...

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On the edge of my seat,
On the tip of my chair,
Sweating in the Doctor’s Lair,
Waiting for that sympathetic stare
And the news
That my slack heart
Needs a jump start,
Liver fails to deliver,
Blood is clogged
With choleric cholestrol,
Kidneys are more cesspit,
Than filtration device,
Belly fluff is full of lice,
Tonsils are...

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Dear Dr Diagnosis,

Thank you for your concern and attempt to put me back together.
It isn't that I am unappreciative of your labors in fact I've rather enjoyed our talks,though sometimes they were quite painful.I concluded it was necessary to show you the depth of my...

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The doctor of reputation agreed to consultation and a physical exam.
He began by saying while I was weighing, “I see you like your ham!”
He checked my reflexes and my solar plexus, everything from bottom to top.
While pulling my ears, and all my running gears, I...

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I was diagnosed with cancer today
and my doctor sadly turned his head
as he walked away. 
The usual speech about chemo was read
and then radiation was discussed as he
as a doctor was lead.
When he was done, he looked at me and
said well honey in the days...

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The doctor has examined the patient 
And the diagnosis is clear 
Terminal!
For the patient 
A horrible death I fear 

I am not one for the continued suffering of the patient 
The condition will only get worse 
Day by day and year-by-year 
And will increase as...

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Insanity
Is vanity,
The narcissistic cry
Of “I, I, I, I, I, I, I.

And happiness
Consists of less
Analysis, and more of trust
In Him Who fashioned us from dust....

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Sammie is a Tabby by design and recognition as far as a mental picture would be
He first came home to us from a shelter as a kitten and made us a family of three
That was about ten years ago, and Sammie has grown and is...

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Smooth, mapped roads
intersected with red-eyed 
nights, quivering 
nerves, fists pounding air. 

A nightmare
descended as a phantom
snaking black shadows into 
ebullient corridors 
of light. 

A hulking foe crowded his way in
uninvited.

Sun rose with belly chuckles, 
banners, and presents,

touched the earth dipping 
below the horizon like a...

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Hearing God's voice doesn't make you crazy disobeying it does Lord they are throwing the 
baby out and drinking the bath water Commanded us to hearken to your voice it is written 
warning of false doctors or teachers thier doctrine sorceries that turn men from...

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Skin pale white,
her hospital gown,
a moth filled wedding dress.
straps and shackles tie her down 
like a corset;
more buckles and ties than Harry Houdini.
she frantically turns
toward the door
like a two year old 
throwing a temper tantrum,
her hands wrapped around her body,
hugging her own hips.
Fingernails cut down...

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Lackadaisical Daisy thought she was always cursed,
alway's sneezing every single day since her birth,
around jobs she would linger,
never ever lifting a finger,
doctors diagnose was that she's allergic to work!...

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Prosopagnosia Self Diagnosis

Oliver Wolf Sacks
Was a neuroscientist always in search of facts.
Neurological problems and oddities he studied
Later realizing his face recognition was very much muddied.

This is in honor of Dr. Sacks who passed away on August 30th....

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My father, an officer in army, his friend too,
A hypochondriac friend who was always blue,
Said I’m off to see the quack,
Doc said, odds against you stack,
Diagnosis: you’re pregnant Rex, out he flew!...

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