Best Daft Poems
On my walk I chanced to see
An elephant with a bumble bee.
It was such a peculiar pairing,
And they had ice cream, which they were sharing.
The elephant was holding the ice cream cone
For the bee was on his mobile phone,
I thought wow, this is really *****...
I never get a signal here !
Dear Lordy, what have you done
this loony spouse given me…
he rants and TV- clicks all night
much like a freakish banshee!
Obsessed with horror movies
remote control is life's drug:
This model needs rebooting,
It's time for urgent de-bug.
11/11/2017
Written for Kevin Shaw's Surreal and Daft
Louise started walking through the hugh corn maze
the high hedges and turns the usual craze
occasionally she'd run into a dead end
but soon her labyrinth walk would be on the mend,
She felt like a detective looking for some clues
to help her get through and not be confused
using her gut feelings she felt she was almost free
astonished to find a hugh chunk of cheese.
10-18-17
I sat under an oak tree in fall
I must have fell asleep I recall
I awoke on a boat
with a frog in my throat
an elephant making a trunk call.
20/10/2017
Contest surreal and daft
Sponsored by Kevin Shaw.
THE YOLK'S ON ME
It was bath time for my twins, I played a little joke
and filled their bathtub with purple dinosaur yolk.
The bathtub discoloured, the yolk was scummy
but in the purple gloop I found a missing dummy
Into the tub I placed my little daughter
she shivered, so I poured in hot water;
alas the egg congealed, it was a huge mistake…
for their next bath time I’ll use chocolate milk shake!
Daft and Surreal Contest
Sponsored by Kevin Shaw
10-17-17
"HOW TIME WAS BORN"
After the snow but before the flowers,
there were days without minutes or hours-
Clocks were invalid and watches dead,
there was a sorcerer called Emit who led.
Emit was tough and rough to the bone,
and invented the thing called the telephone.
It was when one used such a thing it said,
“time shall be born from a glass of sand instead."
(Emit is "time" backwards)
DAFT CONTEST
October 17, 2017
A butterfly, one summer day
Spoke to me as he fluttered my way
He asked me where the flowers were
And told me which he did prefer
I pointed where the Zinnias grew
He thanked me, and off he flew!
As I continued on my walk
I wondered, who taught him to talk!
--
10/18/17
No lady is cheap and dude's are not fools, the lady you've been chasing for over 12 months was in bed with a guy just three days after they met.
The lady you had in your bed in less than a week, is being chased by another guy for over 18 months. If she sees a quality in you and falls for you, never stand anywhere and say she is CHEAP.
And to the ladies: The guy who lavishes on you never bought even a wristband for his ex. If you are lucky he's so much in love with you, don't think he's a fool.
Don't take him for GRANTED, Don't see any GUY to be a FOOL ,someone being good to you doesn't mean he is fool. Both should learn to appreciate!!!
Have I spoken well?
I have a dog called Minton whose feeling rather ill,
I took him to the vets today to settle up his bill;
Last night, when in the garden, he ate two shuttlecocks
Bad Minton.
My son gave me a great grow-box
to plant some veggies, watch them grow.
Tomatoes chosen 'cause they're red;
they grew quite fast...but then...oh no!
Their vines at once became alive;
and reached around to wrap my hips.
Got kisses planted on both cheeks
from succulent tomato lips!
November 10, 2017
Contest: Surreal and Daft
Sponsor: Kevin Shaw
Me and my friend Spider
went out for a spin in a glider.
We stopped off for crisps and cider,
then off to the shops
where I bought him some tops
and four pairs of shoes for a fiver
While walking in the market one day
I started talking to a friend we had lots to say
Unmindful of whatever came before me
Kept walking somewhat straight with glee
Suddenly my forehead banged into a pillar
My hard lense fell off and the pain was a killer
Hooding one eye I looked for the lens but failed
A passer-by made a call to my son ,the problem was nailed
Happy Chappie had a lightbulb brain wave
Thinking his idea some time he would save
Usually when he went out and about
He forgot his way back without any doubt
Thought if I butter well my outdoor shoe
I'm sure to retrace as good as new
Unexpectantly he had a good ride
Whooshing along on his sole slip and slide
I ran downstairs
to play musical chairs -
how I do recall!
I kept repeating
changing seating
'til there were none at all.
With their Tools, equipment, workwear at the ready
Hoping that this job, a first in a while goes steady
The weather has been assessed
And now we are waiting to be blessed
As the shift was about start
And the war paint applied like new age fork art
The crew started to ask “where is the plan?”
When they realized, It must still be with the mail-man.