Best Couch Potato Poems

Dear Lordy, what have you done
this loony spouse given me…
he rants and TV- clicks all night
much like a  freakish banshee!

Obsessed with horror movies
remote  control is life's drug:
This model needs rebooting,
It's time for urgent de-bug.



11/11/2017
Written for Kevin Shaw's Surreal and Daft...

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Couch Potato

You are sitting on my couch, now. 
You are watching TV with my kid. 
Yes, she is old enough to sit there. 
She is technically, All Grown Up!
That is not the issue. 

Be careful, 
You are ever being…
watched. 

For what? 

The way you are;
What...

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Sitting on the sofa
Munching on some chips
Not a care in the world
Of calories on the hips.

Slouched down on the cushion
The tv glued to his face
You ask him a question
But he's out in outer space.

You call him to the table
He won't leave his favorite chair
The sports...

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I AM A COUCH POTATO
By Roy Merritt

I am a couch potato, but not russet, red or white
I’m the kind of potato that sits up late at night
And I watch the TV shows the shows I really dig
And sit there in my chair and eat just...

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The Potato expanded to fit the Couch,
Bathing in the light of the God of Radiation,
A many hued attack on whatever senses remained.

Froth overflowing from his beer and his brain
Machinegun-like channels blasting and caressing
He sank back, understanding but not grasping
At all the dangers, all the time...

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Don’t criticise me from this poem 
You’ll understand once I bring it home
I used to love DIY  I was a fanatic
But it took me a long time and drove my wife spastic

She used to curse and say you not finished yet
You’ll end up leaving...

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COUCH POTATO

Can there be more solid man
On the couch he’s planted here
Under blankets and old books
Calling orders for more beer
Has he grown a set of roots

Planting him eternally
Or is it possible
That he ‘s related to a tree?
As I glance at him again
Taking drinks and giving...

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I just saw this cute couch potato
An old kitty with no up and go
He just sits and grows 'round
with large belly profound
While enjoying his best TV show

Laying low with his back legs astride
Tail beneath to protect his backside
Oh, how comfy is he
This old cat retiree
Who...

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Couch Potato 

Crinkly wrinkly chips are easier on the dip
Regular ones are lighter on the tongue and lips
Remote control is always by my side
To surf the airways with due diligence
Football season is coming soon enough
To satisfy my fat and toothless self
My glowing baldness is a...

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The Couch Potato

By Elton Camp

When Tony gets home from work each day,
He always has the very same thing to say
“Honey, I am sleepy and as tired as I can be.
When you get supper ready, please call me.”

He forgets his wife worked seven to three
And that...

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Just a small piece of time 
For a little peace of mind. 
I’m piecing it all together 
While I sit comatose 
Viewing the News in disbelief. 
Disgusted, I divert my attention 
To the puzzle of Leonardo de Vinci’s 
The Last Supper. 
And I mumble to...

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              Cat hanging off couch.
              I, sitting here and do slouch.
        ...

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COUCH POTATO

Spuddy
Duddy


written August 31, 2021...

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Not an Idaho brand
Excess weight demand
Exercise in hesitate
Many people can relate
Body fat
Before and no after fact
The couch being the guest of human weight
For Heaven’s sake
The problem of give and take
Get up from the couch
Some people become a slouch
Exercise is the way to get rid of...

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Donald Trump never had any doubt
He could hear Melania shout:
"Oh for goodness' sake
How long does it take
For a couch potato to sprout?"...

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