Best Clincher Poems

...I stepped in for my first colonoscopy. I was nervous everyone could see
I had a choice to be awake or put out if I was skittish...but no not me

I chose the former so I could watch my own ass on T......

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...I had my tonsils taken out
When I was in first grade.
My younger brother did as well
And we were both afraid.

We didn’t really get it but 
We somehow understood
That wearing P.J.’s in the car......

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...We’re lucky to have a math-whiz kid
And one day this is what he did.

He said we all know about going number two
Now I’ve sorted out the decimals too.

First, there’s the basic, number two
Whi......

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...This summer was so crazy with a drought but still where mosquitoes multiplied.
And we’re leaving behind a hurricane that attacked the Midwest from all sides.
The crops were lost as months of over 100......

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...Greetings to My Dentist

Just thought that I would drop by for a while
So I could show off my shiny, great smile
And also my friend here is the final clincher,
I have been brushing my nice, new ......

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...There was a person I could not visit,
That outside of dreams I craved.
A person that transcended thought,
To whose memory I became enslaved.

Because lapsed time had given me,
Thoughts that bou......

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...
Behold the beguiled,
they're the ones who always
walk down the wrong aisle
It doesn't take much to catch their eye,
offer a free sample they might like to try
Hook 'em with the line
of......

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...Some say there's nothing poetic about blue-collar work.
I'm here to prove them wrong.

What is a poem?
For one, it has rhythm.
"Well, where's the rhythm
in a discordant jumble of a thousand tools
all......

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...Keep this under your hat, guys....I'm just back from an undercover investigation of 
what turned out to be a real hidden nest of Alien invaders....they foolishly made 
serious strategic mistakes, w......

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...FOR GOD’S SAKE

When living "...of the world" despair unfurled.
I lost sight of heaven’s glorious pearl.
Truths shouted out from the depths of my mind.
God’s loving whispers to me stayed entwine......

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...Dudes, Check out old State U's latest course catalog: 
   OK, Business 101: 'Marijuana - Get High and Stay High'
   Here's Economics 101: 'Laws of THC Demand and Supply'
And alright! Sociology 101......

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...I come to her house
She said It’s her birthday
But there’s no one else
I guess I’d eat anyway..

I start with the strawberry
Soft, red and tempting
So sweet as it touched my lips
That I gobbl......

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...He thinks he is bright with his comments of wit.
I am a cute little actress he's picked for his skit.
Key on one of those words in the sentence above.
Is she the one playing this game he calls lov......

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...On New Year’s Eve 1962 she looked great!
It was then that I knew our inevitable fate
We had the most wonderful time together
I didn’t know and didn’t care about the weather
Her beauty rivaled ......

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...find the messenger and shoot
she smiles and looks art me and says
you don’t know do you?

plant the seed to take care of number one first
censor defaults of sentiments left to chance
head east ......

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