Best Chemists Poems
Nestled paths for signals,
Neutral navy chemists,
New stimuli framers,
Nurturing dopamine,
Nascent as life's beacon,
Neon nirvana-stars
Nourished in our wine flesh.
No one seemed to take much note at first.
Old-timers on park benches passed a comment or two,
Somebody wrote a letter to the local rag,
but no one (who mattered, that is)
really seemed to mind.
Of course, you will always have
your bellyachers and woolly romantics
with nothing better to do than whine
about the way things are going, -
the loss of bird life, the silenced dawn chorus,
the vanishing English hedgerow,
you know the sort of thing.
The leaves began falling long before autumn.
"Funny," they said, "curious," "that's one for the book."
This was all very interesting for botanists,
environmentalists, chemists and the like.
Such words as "pollution," "soil erosion"
and "deprivation" were bandied about,
but no one was much the wiser though
the experts were agreed on one point.
"Photosynthesis provides the basis of all life."
This was interesting but nothing like
as interesting as the favourite for Ascot,
the football results, the Top of the Pops,
the late night thriller or the FT index.
All that changed.
Foresters and timber merchants became concerned
about the decaying cores of many trees.
The government became concerned, too,
(not so much about the fate of the trees as such
as about the effect the scarcity of wood
was having on the paper industry and inflation).
Then the doom-watchers caught the scent
and there was talk of an imminent ecological collapse,
but the man in the street still
passed it all off as the usual load of rot.
Then Kew Gardens, Epping Forest, Central Park,
the Everglades and the Bois de Boulogne
went the way of all wood.
A tramp, locally known as Nat the Nut,
was found in the village cemetery gibbering,
Before being bundled into an ambulance,
he was heard to say:
"With these very ears I heard 'em groan,
and this is what one of 'em said:
'Tonight we are dying, yew and I,
and the morrow sees us dead.'
And the willows wept in the valleys
and the trees on the hills pined away."
When the harvest failed,
the church bells tolled
for a woe no man could gainsay,
for none doubted then the trees were lost
or held it was only they.
elementary science
we watched with wide eyes
baking soda and vinegar
a little red food coloring
emerge from a clay volcano
the foam erupting
moving fast
mixing these catalysts
consequence happened
our lives
like baking soda and vinegar
cause and effect
a mere chemistry experiment
some of us
not well-rounded chemists
make quite a muddle of it
not ever getting the concoction
quite right
i am convinced
some are not born chemists
maybe just decoration
red food coloring
It was a mediocre and bearable day.
I had sprinkled and smeared tiny fibers on my head to camouflage the humiliation.
As I sedately wandered down the avenue I virtually blended in with the common folks.
All of a sudden a fierce breeze hit me hard.
My cover was blown away. A barren field of desolation was all left.
Dear Lord, what treacherous move did you just pull on me?
People noticed me as I stood there bare naked.
I panicked and impulsively decided to flee away as rapid as possible.
I thought I was gonna be okay but then some men in black suits tracked me down.
They abducted me.
Shortly thereafter I was transported to a goverment concentration camp for miscellaneous Incels.
I was to be recycled for experimentation.
They sprayed my skull with some sticky elixir from a flask branded Minoxidil.
This was probably the animal testing phase where I was the subject.
It seems that these chemists where benevolent, chunks of my
abolished humanity started to gradually restore.
Unfortunately the progress wasn't worth the effort.
I was thus banished back to my cellar.
Science classes in the sixties were different than they are now. While hippies
protested, science kept its calm. Matter was arranged in tidy molecules of
atoms with tiny electrons spinning around. Everything was in order and
could be predicted with a slide-rule. Sir Isaac Newton may have died in
1727, but he still got us got us to the moon and back.
Some two centuries or so after Sir Isaac, physicists, chemists, mathematicians,
statisticians, and who knows who else, got together and decided to go into
cosmology. The universe of Newton and Einstein was set on its random ear.
Quantum Mechanics was in, and became cooler than absolute zero.
Electrons started jumping randomly from one energy shell to another around
their bewildered nucleus, instead of circling like planets in an ordered,
predictable fashion. The constantly-changing universe the scientist saw
became a function of the moment in time the scientist observed it. Subatomic
particle-waves were discovered which could not decide whether
to be matter or energy. Space was not empty after all, but filled with darkmatter.
Everything was expanding. And now, string theorists talk about arallel universes!
It’s enough to give anyone a headache. A universe actually affected by
the onlooker’s looking? Empty space filled with unseen dark matter?
Matterenergy or energymatter? Parallel whats? Sorry, Dr. Einstein, but it’s
beginning to look like God may role dice with the universe after all.
I still want to believe, though, that God created the dice, and the odds, and
knows the outcome in advance. I know it sounds counter-counterintuitive,
but really now, how else could God risk the random nature of human choice
in a quantum mechanical cosmos? We’ve already changed our minds about
some pretty basic stuff.
Sometimes I think I’ll put all my energy into becoming a particle-antiparticle
pair. Then I can disappear in the mutual annihilation of both of me, and
take a break for a while. Oh, wait just a cosmic nanosecond . . . is mutual
self annihilation reversible?
Maybe I’ll just go out in the yard tonight and see if I can spot some of that
dark matter lurking around the stars.
Biologists observe the features,
Of fungi, germs and plants and creatures,
Of violent bangs there is no fear,
Except Exploding Elodea,
(You’ll need a syringe that’ll stick,
To perform this nifty trick)
How living things work, you will see,
When you learn Biology.
Chemists really love to natter,
About substances which make up matter,
And what those chemicals will do,
When other things are added too,
Or when the temperature changes,
Or we alter pressure ranges,
Recording everything they see,
That is known as Chemistry.
In Physics we will all explore,
How things move and so much more,
How stars and planets run their courses,
The interaction of matter and forces,
How the Universe came to be,
And what makes up the atomi,
Physicists find their delight,
From the very small to infinite.
Paper-thin pendants green the earth
Enhancing everywhere exterior décor.
But that’s only a hint of their worth.
They are chemists, cleaners, and more.
Each is a veritable factory all its own,
Making food of sunlight for its host.
There isn’t a tree that has ever grown
Without their presence, inland or coast.
The air we breathe is still another gift:
They convert carbon dioxide into a win.
When next you’re out, let your eyes shift
To the pendants above that are paper-thin.
A magical chemical infatuation
to disregard the tradition
of natures connectivity and diversity
dragged to the will of its subjugation
to dig into the complex cells intimacy
its mass increments of the yields
killing off the birds and the insects
for the sake of crop conformity
in the unnatural fields
A perfectly poisonous promise
released in defusable clouds
through the early morning mists
chugged and pumped out grotesque deformity
in silent avenues of crop conformity
the deathly dew eliminates
all so ripe so well protected
in latent morbidity awaits
Layers by "half-life" lifeless inherited
in this chemists manufacturing of a chemical romance
the inorganic compounds of devastation
bound by an economical tourniquet
to plough again the blighted earth
split breakdown the biological integration
a quick fix to be persuaded
a million years of evolution
the symbiosis of the world in Gods hand
was not a patent so diligently as patiently perfected
or so insidiously infected in the land
Mechanized desert to produce the taste
a tasteless morsel of a savored remembrance
to its colour yet another substance added
organophosphates persistently digested
concentrations in environmental compartments
disarrange the circles tilt the balance
the enemy is natures necessity
needs be defeated
swap it over transmit a hell-bent malignancy
Collusion's by crude oil alchemy
improving on a profitable perimeter
this chemical romance of manufactured efficiency
O = HO - P - HO - NH - O - OH ! OH !
take a look at what marvelous science has made !
broad spectrum killer
needs be to murder off bio-diversity
and 5-enolpyruvylshikimate-3 phosphate synthase
is so much better
so much cleverer than natures ways
so taint the population with polluted fodders feed
killing off the birds and the bees
killing off the fish, the insects and the fungi
and killing off our babies
So perfectly formed
and so perfectly preserved
perfectly free of any blemish
all sitting on the billion shelves
of a million supermarkets
So perfectly wrapped
and so perfectly presented
the perfectly picture of health
and in its cells something so insidious
and the perfectly poisonous
is its promise
So perfectly formed
and so perfectly preserved
perfectly free of any blemish
all sitting on the billion shelves
of a million supermarkets
This sudden warped concern for ampule,
the cruel force of world dictators,
these psychological taunt of the media,
Nescient chemists controlling our minds,
tycoons uttering lies in egoistic motives,
these pretentious drama of publicized jabs,
enhancing their personal ambition to rule,
these old prime ministers at the precipice,
unwilling to retire for greed,
frightened by the plague concocted in Wuhan,
confusing my will by their own fears.
conspirators accusing me of conspiracy,
invoking laws on their medium,
censoring opposing opinion,
These organized crimes against my will,
A cooked up opium rushed out of laboratory,
compelling a Police state devoid of volition,
mRNA coated codes, their Greek gift to save the world,
the same world they pass by in pain,
these tyrants suddenly more catholic than the Pope,
or civil than a civilian,
Liberty at the mercy of potentate,
silence all demanding,
The hysteria unending,
my trust for their kindness is zero.
II.
Carmen had no other family left,
and said,”I guess I can give it a try.”
Her mother beamed. “I live in Miami,
I’ll pay for some movers to come by!”
That was how Carmen found herself living
in the guest home of her mother’s mansion,
it was almost as large as her old house,
but was much more ornate and well-done.
The first day Fileena was hugs and smiles,
she helped Carmen unpack all her things,
before she left, she said,”I’m so excited!
Tomorrow I’ll show you where you’re working!”
When morning came they drove down in a Benz,
Carmen expected to see a large office,
but Fileena pulled up to an aging warehouse,
said,”Doesn’t look like much, but here it is.”
Inside they passed stacks of packaged powder
as they walked to her mom’s office suite,
Carmen said,”Mom, what do you do here?”
Fileena said,”Isn’t is obvious, sweety?
“Not an ounce of product passes this town
without first being shunted my way,
and given how this country is going
it’ll be legalized one of these days.
“That’s what I intend to pass on to you,
when the time comes for me to retire,
you’ll want for nothing, the riches you’ll have,
most people for their whole lives just aspire.”
Carmen said,”This is a lot to take in…
it’s all come as such a big surprise.
Can I maybe go home and think about it?”
Said Fileena,”Sure hon, take your time.”
Carmen did not go straight to the guest house,
she spent hours wandering about to think
about her few choices, the gravity of it all…
should she go along, or call the precinct?
She puzzled over it a great deal that day,
weighing her situation and her hopes,
she went to the mansion early the next morn,
said,”Mom, I want you to show me the ropes.”
Fileena smiled, and they spent the whole day
moving around the warehouse on a tour,
half-way through said Fileena,”In coming years,
I’m going to teach you about so much more.”
Carmen saw everything she need to,
she saw the basement where the product was made,
saw the chemists hired by Fileena
to specialize the drugs by their grades.
She saw the dealers as they came in,
to give Fileena her cut, and resupply,
she even met the thugs who reminded folks
that to cheat Fileena was to die.
SURVIVAL OF THE WITLESS
— James Ph. Kotsybar
When fire, water, earth and air were thought
to be the elementals that composed
all matter, folks did not become distraught
at what avant-garde chemists then proposed.
Most understand that our world is a sphere
(with only one natural satellite);
no matter where folks sail they do not fear
they’ll reach Earth’s edge and fall into the night.
Most even have embraced that time’s not fixed
and have adopted relativity.
So why should folks’ beliefs remain so mixed
about evolution’s activity?
Abundant evidence supports this view,
yet institutions argue it’s not true.
while soaring the heavenly heights
many hours ago
every major metropolis appeared
about a million miles below
the rarefied atmosphere
ideal composition beckoned angels,
who bustled, hustled, and jostled elbow
(which bedlam, flimflam, and mayhem
intimated Hells Bells)
wing trying (heavens to Betsy) to flag attention,
and snag coveted soundcloud Netherland Award
cap ping bulging port folio,
which hubbub charged crackled, popped,
snapped amidst light emitting diodes
with a snazzy aura, charisma
harp pulling, piping, and chiefly
paying praise (CI years post haste)
to William Henry Perkin
whose credit able karma
(and unwitting) claim to fame didst glow
purple, which jumpstarted incandescent halo
couture culture club, via constant comet inflow
of Plasmodia vaguely resembling microscopic red Jello
illuminating swath of dusky
shutter flying sky sustaining
self contained feedback instagram loop know
wing lee broadcasting mauveine staccato low
to the groundswell of chemists dyeing, Googling,
and gratefully huzzahing insinuating
killing, kindling kissing
malaria goodbye, an outlook
(nee a once in a lifetime moe
mint - je nais sais quoi) win out loud
respectably sedulous honoree, a no
bill sine qua non bit player aniline
(to conclude this short poem) about his oh
penning accidental discovery kickstarting pro
noun est contribution to the fashion industry.
In 1745, the apothecary
Time stands still, peering at the past
The chemists lived making potions
Between dust and rats
Gadgets like compasses hung
Amidst glass vials and bronze knobs
Keys to hidden compartments
Silver ladles and candelabras
Joseph Black isolates CO2
An odd phenomena of “fixed air.”
The healers of the early ages
The fearful labelled witches
And, often then burned
James take off my dress
Lady Brooks summoned her butler to her bedroom,
James arrived, she said “You know why you are here I assume.
Take off my dress and do it with care,
It cost a lot of money so do not tear.
Take off my bra and stockings too,
James diligently did what he was told to do.
Take off my knickers, I know you have done that before.
If I catch you wearing my clothes again I will personally kick you out of the front door”
0------0------0
The right direction
The quiet calm respectable lady walked into the chemists,
Said “I wish to buy some cyanide, only the strongest I insist.
The chemist replied” Why do you want to buy cyanide,
Anyway without a prescription your request is denied”
Tell me why you this poison you need,
Maybe I can an alternative advise if you will heed”
The lady said” I want to kill my husband stone dead,
I caught him in another woman’s bed”
She produced a picture of her husband in bed with the chemist’s wife,
They both seemed to be having the time of their life.
The chemist said “Now you have pointed me in the right direction,
You have produced the all important prescription.”
0------0------0
He did not know.
Two men sat in the pub having a chat,
About a little of this, a little of that.
One said to the other” I had sex with my wife
before were wed, did you?”
The other man replied” Tell me her maiden name, other wise I haven’t a clue.”
They're the smallest part
Of a compound or mole-
Cule.They're chemists' tools.