Best Cat Lady Poems
The cat rules our house, and she has us well trained:
We jump at the sound of her slightest complaint.
The day starts at six when I hear her loud cry,
Her pitiful wailing. I run to find why.
Queen passive-aggressive, she sits there and stares
Until I feel guilty. She silently glares.
I check on her food – only half full the dish!
I pour her fresh water. That wasn’t her wish;
She still has that look! In the bathroom I check:
The litter box maybe? Yes, there is a speck.
I scoop and I clean, and she, pleased, walks away—
She just wants it nice to use later today.
She squeezes right next to me onto my chair,
My pants and my sweater get covered in hair.
But she is so sweet and has such a soft fur,
And I like to stroke her, and hear her cute purr.
She made me become what I swore not to be:
The crazy cat lady- I think that is me.
January 3, 2018
For contest Crazy Cat Lady
Sponsored by Line Gauthier
She is the eclectic cat lady
Pretty in pink wearing a daisy
You be the judge I think she's crazy
Bobby sock chic her scarf's paisley
One big duffle with many cats inside
she will show them off with the utmost pride
In the bag you can hear them collide
Still they never stray far from her side
When the bag opens it's quite a scene
To my great surprise she has thirteen
Her favorite one his name is Dean
the smallest cat she calls Jelly Bean
As for me I am more of a dog guy
If you smelled her cats you would know why
When the cats see my dogs they sure jump high
Boy oh boy does the fur ever fly
I am the friendly dog loving fellow
My dogs love the sound of my Cello
They sing along while dressed in Yellow
Cat lady smiles while feeding us jello.
For Line Gauthier's "Crazy Cat Lady" Contest. January 2, 2018.
My first poem of the new year.
Twice-a-day, though sun or rain, in storm or wind or snow
The crazy lady fed her strays, and watched them come-and-go
She had a name for every one, and knew them by their face
Though they sometimes had a spat, they treated her with grace
They numbered over thirty, eating more than she could pay
But with bottles and her overtime, she always found a way
She oft-times skipped a meal herself, to make sure that they ate
And sometimes lived in darkness, if she paid the light bill late
Many nights she braved the chill if she couldn't pay for heat
She rarely bought new clothing, or new boots to warm her feet
And it never ruined Christmas when she didn't have a tree
Cuz she bought an extra meal, instead, for her feline family
She made art of cutting corners, though she rarely caught a break
And countless were the comforts that she gave up for their sake
But she never felt it sacrifice, or her own needs thus impeded
She'd lost in love, but like us all, she still needed to be NEEDED
So, if forfeiting for those we love is a nonsensical thing to do ...
Perhaps we should ALL consider ... being a bit more crazy, too.
* SECOND PLACE in the "Crazy Cat Lady" Poetry Contest, Line Gauthier, Sponsor. *
Initially, Lady adopted just the gray One for love and fun.
A pal gifted another, a kitten who needed a Mother.
Though spayed, One let Two nurse and her milk did disburse,
said a Vet whose face crunched, bemused and confused.
For One and Two days passed with Lady’s love steadfast.
Cat Three showed in winter’s cold, wanting warmth’s hold.
At first, Three was snubbed by grown One and growing Two.
Eventually their curiosity was peaked by things Three did do,
strange things Cat One and Cat Two could not reason thru.
Three stole garments from the basket of Lady’s dirty clothes,
dragged them into corner places that she carefully chose,
and then she, Cat Three, exposed all to odd licking throes.
Appalled, One and Two would withdraw and prissily pose,
until pride turned trite when Lady raced a laser, red light.
Four showed one Spring day, when Lady saw a gray tail sway
belonging to a striped, cat-baby who had no home or safety.
Lady immediately, eagerly, telephoned her brother, Clark,
and asked if Four would officially make her a Crazy Cat Lady.
He spoke, but she could not quite hear the words from Clark,
not over his ten dogs harmonizing a united, piercing bark.
“The Memoirs of a Cat Lady”
you slinked onto my sunny windowsill
winked with your one good eye
a no-brainer, all in your face, head
saucy marmalade pants
bittersweet No. 1 wins the day,
in my bed
oh to be dominant
in my realm of warmth
once again
Moonlight
calculates the temerity
of a head-over-heels
One-eyed Pirate upstart
heart-claiming
Love Cat
she remembers
shameless,
she silently grins
(LadyLabyrinth / 2021)
Lady
is tired
goes to bed
the cat follows
she turns on her side
the cat jumps on the bed
then circling around her
the cat will lay with the lady
on the inside of her arm sleeping
never moving staying there all evening
Crazy Cat Lady
sat in the rocking chair
her dress quite fady
her colour so fair
but the felines around
gave me the creeps
even in this roaring crowd
i could hear her weep
for she was quite alone
i saw when looked at me the crone....
In our town lived a crazy old crone
with no spouse, and her kids were all grown.
Once frightened by rats,
she bought a few cats,
so no longer did she live alone.
As it turns out, the cats were so nice
that they wouldn’t attack even mice!
They wanted instead
to only be fed
yummy foods like her chicken fried rice.
At her table, the old lady set
two tall stools. Yes, that woman would let
the two cats dine with her,
wearing bibs so their fur
from the sauces would never get wet.
The old woman now lives happily
knitting clothes for her cat “family.”
While asleep on her bed,
the cats purr on her head
while the rats in the house still run free.
Jan. 14, 2018 For Line Gauthier's 'CRAZY CAT LADY: RHYME' Contest
There was a dame from Westminster,
Who lived her life as a spinster.
She was old and gray,
Yelled at cats all day,
And that is why no one missed her.
In Little Whinging, Privet Drive,
around the bend at Number Four
is sighted, strikingly alive,
a tabby cat not seen before.
Her interests vary from her kind’s -
she does not mind the scuttling rat
Behind a battered bin she finds
some shade. (They think she just gets fat).
But
After dark a cat’s a tiger -
this one’s waiting for a boy
not to pounce on - far from her
intentions. This child gives her joy.
No one spots a vanished cat. -
from where her bracing figure lay
a lady rose in robe and hat,
looked up and gestured, walked away.
She swore to guard his life and name
from all things dark and horrible
This silent storm left as she came
She went by name McGonagall.
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Tribute to Professor McGonagall of Hogwarts from Harry Potter. She was a cat Animagus - so literally a Cat Lady
This is when she waits for Hagrid to bring infant Harry to his aunt's family home after the death of his parents, where he is ill-treated and will stay until 11.
THE TRANSFIGURATION: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oP3MKL5XBIY -The relevant part begins at 0:50
Crazy cat lady as I don't like cats, but as I've got older I have whiskers to match. I see men as they see mice little sneaky but taste very nice.
Shadow-Cat = Cat Afraid oF the Dark needs Teddy-Bear-Cat
Polecat = a pole dancer Cat-House
Copycat = looks like you do Carbon Copy House-Cat
Bobcat = Bob - Tailed - Cat
Wildcat = Wild.,.Child.,.Spirit.,.Cat
Allie-cat = Loose Trampy Cat Did ( I ) Loose
my Train oF Thought it came with a Caboose
and who Goose the Moose
By Antlers in the Tree Tops Chocolate-Moose
Tomcat = sometimes a Big Cat Thumpper other Times a Tom Thumb Cat
and a Cat in the Hat = a BATTY Cat Flying Rat Fat-Cat That's That.,.
P.S. EYE AM DYSLEXIC so I use CAP.s for Punctuation Style called SHOUTING
John Lenin used it when he wrote music now days young Rapper use it when they write music the Newest Form oF Poetry making my poetry unique a NEW ART FORM or a New Form oF ART Poetry
There is an old lady with over a thousand cats.
They are so cute they take your heart, forever playing about the house
with a stuff mouse.
She is known as the Crazy Cat Woman.
In love with cats their close to her bosom, treats them like they were human.
Everyone thinks she is Looney as a bat,
but around her house, there isn’t a rat.
All so spoiled and fat, they all have their own mats.
She's given the cats the run of her home.
They are never allowed out at night to roam.
However, you can bet that they all dream of mice and rats.
Her home doesn’t smell like a rose,
to get close to it you have to hold your nose.
When time to feed them, they all go into a feeding frenzy.
With a loving smile and her gentle touch they all fight for her attention.
All starving for affection, she brings such satisfaction, I have to mention.
They're so many and counting, all under foot she is in a world of ecstasy.
1/10/2018
Poetry Contest: CRAZY CAT LADY: RHYME
Sponsored by: Line Gauthier
Yes, I’ll admit I am that crazy cat lady,
mother of my beautiful Persian Sadie.
She’s sassy and brassy and full of spice,
naughty in the morn, but at night she's nice.
When I leave her alone I must think twice!
I dress her up in fine linens during cold days,
take professional photos on special holidays.
She purrs and I stop what I am doing instantly,
probably why my mind is filled with insanity.
I gently rub her pretty paws constantly.
I style her silver fur the way she likes it,
and she never listens when I ask her to sit.
Home baked kitty treats are made with love,
she’s rough like a lion, then gentle as a dove.
Definitely sent from Heaven up above.
Yes, I’ll admit I am that crazy cat lady,
guess that’s just the way God has made me.
I spoil her most when she feels the worst,
always putting her pretty lil’ kitty face first.
Can’t tell if I’m blessed or if I’m cursed!
Crazy Cat Lady: Rhyme Poetry Contest
Line Gauthier
January 3rd, 2018
The yellow cat sits
Staring at the bird outside
Contemplating lunch