Best Carving Knife Poems

It started with a sniffle one March morn’
When on my car that telltale film appeared
And I knew well this coat it had not worn
For overnight...

Read more of this work...

My grandfather on my father’s side, was a pecker-toothed sidle who raped his 
daughter when she was just ten. He threw down vodka from an...

Read more of this work...

Limricks prompted by a comment made by someone today

It's a fact, and no longer just a rumor
Some soup people barf at toilet humor
Have you sniffed...

Read more of this work...

He loved a drink did ol'Johnny McBeal
And offered to cook the thanksgiving meal
All the trimmings with turkey
For their friends and family
His wife agreed but no...

Read more of this work...

I want to be a vegan
I want to give up meat
I want hemp DM's to wear upon my feet
No more burgers, sausages and no more...

Read more of this work...

I once knew a Thai man
Who had an affair
And at the time he said
He did not care
Well it was not long
Before his wife found out
Now...

Read more of this work...

Tom Turkey got lost 'midst the teeming flock,

   Thus, avoiding the dreaded chopping block!

      Hunkering down spared his...

Read more of this work...

The Easter Rabbit had a spat with his wife
She said  the dumb eggs were ruining her life
Laying eggs is so boring
Then there's your snoring
He...

Read more of this work...

The Contest for my Heart 


Ah yes, a one time event
Black widows, black roses, red blood flows
Capture my heart
With your affections or the carving knife
Cut...

Read more of this work...

Smoking Hot

Once upon a time there was a little girl
She carried a chipped edged bowl in her hand
Charity had been generous to her riding years
Gifts...

Read more of this work...

who out foxed who?....
    a fox chases field mice
        into the house

mouse invasion....
  ...

Read more of this work...

For Vienna, by request.

Something has gone terribly wrong in my garden today,
My tomatoes are all growling at me with big teeth on display.

And when I...

Read more of this work...

As day falls into dusk I sit alone,                 ...

Read more of this work...

Three Blind Mice (Parody)

Three blind mice, Three blind mice
Unwisely they ran after the farmer’s wife
Who decapitated their tails with a carving knife
Did you ever see...

Read more of this work...

HALLOWEEN – SPOOKS II

At the door
Little Boy Blue
Kissed our pumpkin
Mistress Mary too

Shutters rattle
Unearthly howls
Ghastly sounds
From Satan’s jowls

Tattered scarecrow
In the corn
Comes to life
The dead reborn

Halloween pumpkin
Big...

Read more of this work...