Best Caper Poems

Oh my goodness, oh my gosh
We're totally out of toilet paper
Someone broke in and pilfered it
Known as the toilet paper caper

It's really not a laughing matter
So wipe that grin off your face
The FBI's Stolen Bum Wipe Unit
Was called in to take the case

Went around from...

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Witnessed something today so unbelievable

Thought my eyes were deceiving me

Lounging in a comfy easy chair at Starbucks

It was busy in the store as usual

Everyone buying a cup of their favourite brew

People filling up with the necessities

Cream, sugar, and stir sticks

One young chap picked up all...

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Local Newspaper Caper

To local newspaper will not subscribe again
Now no longer put any of my new poems in
Which people in past loved reading greatly
But in paper are not there as of lately.

To me. people are singing the same old song;
This time what again have you...

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THE VIAGRA CAPER

He felt self conscious, insecure,
Inadequate and most unsure.

He looked upon the night with dread,
For he was unadept in bed.

He thought it all was in his pants,
And feared he could not do the dance,

And then he saw it on T.V.,
With insane grin they touted...

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I woke up early on Christmas Eve
It was late, in the middle of the night
When I saw him under the Christmas tree
He give me such a terrible fright

I thought it must be a cat burglar
Who was trying to steal from me
And I had a fifty-two...

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A boy can't drive endlessly forever.  Going home is justified.
Knocking loudly makes nice old Pop quickly respond,
Smiling tearfully, "Uncle Victor's wild xerus yanked zinnias".

won hm...

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He felt self conscious, insecure,
Inadequate and most unsure.
He looked upon the night with dread,
For he was unadept in bed.

He thought it all was in his pants,
And feared he could not do the dance;
And then he saw it on T.V.,
With insane grin they touted "V".

It would...

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A crazy fellow named Paul
That liked to go to the mall
Did a caper
With some paper
That they said was "Off the wall"


To this day it's still a close call
To what they even meant at all
Was it the caper,
Or just the paper,
That they described as off the...

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Appealing to my better angels, I try once again
To write a poem which will appeal to the heart,
I pause ever so slightly, wondering where to start
I look out my window, it is beginning to rain.

The droplets are gathering on the windowpane
And I know they are...

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I woke up on Christmas Eve
It was late, in the middle of the night
When I saw him under the Christmas tree
He give me such a terrible fright

I thought it was a cat burglar or something
Who was trying to steal from me
And I had a 52...

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                     Spam Caper



There once was a gorgeous lady named Pam.
Whose ardent passion was hot for canned Spam.
She went to market that day.
Nothing unusual, in any way.
Robbed a bank,...

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My halloween candy went missing one day
  The usual suspects came into play
  The clues were quite easy to unveil
  The culprit had left a candy wrapper trail!

 The trail ended at little brother's door
 He had pulled off this caper the...

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Urchin on a cedar swing,
summer mist inhaler,
noonday shriek and frolic,
mother blowing fragrant blossoms
at her golden offspring.
Lavenders amid  the shrouded reverie
pave a mystic wonderland aglow...

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Candles Caper

A burning candle delivers euphoric feelings.
Giving harmonious influences jovially.
Kindling loves, merry nuisances, opulently.
Plays, quietly romancing songs transcendently. 
Capturing lovers in her flickering flame.

© Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
    January 17, 2010

Poetic form: ABC...

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A lovely, senior named Ruth,
Was told to don ugly goggles, forsooth!
By Canadian powers that be,
That frightened the good citizenry.


She went hobbling to the store.
Ruth, was smacked by the front door.
By a youth in such a hurry,
No apologies, but just like a rat did scurry,


 ...

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