Best Biff Poems
Biff Gets His Fill
By Elton Camp
Sue, Biff’s wife, simply loved her dog
Though he was filthy as a rooting hog
To keep Fido outside she didn’t try
The house became as dirty as a sty
He took a nap on the best chair,
However, Mrs. Sue really didn’t care
Then he began to craw into their bed
And try to sleep atop Biff’s head
The outside, good Fido didn’t use
Excreted wherever he did choose
All through the house was found
Stinking piles of something brown
The bottoms of the drapes were yellow
Because of the presence of that fellow
Because Fido and Sue were so crude,
Biff found hair on his clothes and food
Reasoning with his wife did no good
So Biff finally did what he should
He gave Fido a hard kick on his rear
And sternly shouted, “Get out of here!”
He said, “Sue, if you don’t like what I do,
You are welcome to get out of here too.”
Lots of mindless prattle and giggles from Cindy’s room
She was sweet-talking our next-door-neighbor Biff on Zoom
Some future Saturday they may become bride and groom
At ten, they are happy to laugh about silly things on Zoom
Dope boundary rope tropes…fans hopes..Ollie copes..thick skin…will find the strength within…ignores the din…as Pope unleashes that boyish grin..
Can hear Freddie and David…ddddd..Under Pressure…well..hard to measure the pleasure of the Pope’s treasure…papacy legacy pride..stops the slide..trumps the prodigy..got a ton to shun outgun..dumps the Bethell puns..rested and bested..still in at stumps.. after Stokes plumps for tried and tested..
Nasty ploys from the seedier media boys…that gambit or slight..of weedier..needier skittish rabbit in the floodlight habit..but such poise..delights despite the noise.. fights the red hot slingshot Jasprit highlights...that iconic.. chronic.. metronomic…never laconic..halcyon harbinger..joy bringer..humdinger swinger gunslinger....
Who’s got a clue what to do…where it will land…understand what the Bumrah brand’s got planned…should be banned…can’t watch it from the hand..love watching it from the stand..tames games…fanned flames…big names castles manned..but the sparkle of another debacle shames and blames…panned and canned..
Doff your hat…scoff..from the off…Test cricket doesn’t get harder than that…time we beckoned..back when Goochie opined…Essex accent whined..reckoned like facing the World’s test best one end.. and tother Ilford second eleven..
It was a story of small standing tall demanding another dance at the Bumrah ball as the diddy men zen of Ollie and Ben gave us a chance and dodged.. not bodged by the Jasprit lance
Even the boom boom cherry riff couldn’t biff the Pontiff of who we are so fond…no what if..made merry with his tintin strawberry blonde quiff in this tiff did respond..
Golly gosh the another level devil..tabloid tosh of him getting Bethell bish bash boshed…losing the race.. will never forget Ollie’s jolly face…gleaming…day dreaming yet screaming to those scheming and memeing…fury at the jury…beaming…the adored Pope ruled..his grace.. Dueled with the ultimate pace ace…an up yours…century scores…our faith restores ..Ollie.. rightly put out…brightly glowed..showed us what he’s all about..loud..proud shout to the crowd who know nowt…want him out…made it clear..peers cheers he holds dear..my best at your behest ..so sincere.. I deserve my Test place and rest my case..! Hear Hear..
Here's to Biff 'o who a hero can be.' By determination, and effort and observance
If youse'll just see.' Not from a plush life start." Yet now is his time, he will lose nothing, as he gives all Aussies his frames
Online.' From reporting true on Dezi, some
Sold out media types crimes, used his own
material, and tried relegating him onto a
shelf.'
I saw how he's enqired with vic-poll-lice.. That dreaded crew.' And even falsies like that
Mob, said nothing was to do, fast forward
To today..And New South cops started sniffing around, only went and collared his
Son, mates this is stupidity profound.' Just
Bullying monstering tactics, for their head bosses overseas, who tell the local leaders
That the beat guys have to please.' So though there is breach of good conduct and threats of some jail-time for a kid who
Has done no-thing at all.' This really blows
My mind.' These are traitors to our heros.'
I stand with Biff; and say deliver them some consequence, that our country holds
Its way.' In the good that we relied upon..
That always had ous backs.' Give it
To them brother it can be part of taking our
Country back; on track.''
Can we see all the evidence.? Is justice in residence? Under our glorious sun what dark deeds have been done.? We knew it
By the ( moniker lucky?) Which comes from lucifer.' It never before struck me.'
Now its rolling round inside of me.? Ned
Was a man who got pushed too far, and
The empires tentacles, reached out with fan-fare'
From South Africa, an inspector came and
A mass of Vic troopers, cannibal black trackers, and the papers smeared his name, that was in 1889.! Its quite simple and plain.' 2026 now, Dezi you killed too ( no body cameras worn?) So we are
Told.' Hey you coppers is that real true? Is it
Dinkum? Or just stinkin.? Whats emmenating from your heap.? Are there any real ( lawful coppers.?) Active.
? Maybe
They have resigned, or perhaps they're
Paid to sleep.? Yet let me raise the issue;
Of a battler.' ( known as Biff ) who has
had
A past of law-less-ness.' Yet has turned
around , and willingly gives, out his feats,
just a man of
Benalla where i'd once go to watch the flicks
Turned ( journalist ) you-tuber..in Vic the
Bloke still lives? So he did a minor
tresspass.! at the place where that
(rat-sell.!) Went down, to inform the
general public, about any freaky
actions? And what have we found.? That he's being taken to court..And its rumoured he'll face
A judge he has known for years.? The same judge Dezi was taking to court.!
Yes looks like ( predjudice to my eyes )
And it tolls, also dirge-like in my ears..So
Thats the type of system, in Victoria at least, yet the states are all connected mates.' Its the nature of the beast.! A shame before the world so wide, just corruption and cover-ups on all sides
Cause Biffs legal team (
has left him folks!!) Just like that..As
with Tommy Cooper's
Catch-phrase..( which led onto many jokes.')
Yes that is the absurd reality, so I wish Biff all the best ( and a full public gallery')
May you-tubers, swarm into the joint'
And God in justice the verdict fully annoint.)