Best Below The Belt Poems
I watched on
as the universe fluffed its lines,
tripping over evolving stories
keeping me in the dark,
gravity pulling my leg
Impossible to ignore
those below-the-belt punchlines
and a Big Bang
that leaves me seeing stars
It all happened so fast
A "hold on there”
kick-in-the-nuts moment
a doubled-over realisation:
I am mortal
and painfully aware
fairytales must cluster
in a galaxy elsewhere
In truth, I could have a brain bleed
tonight and die in my sleep,
just like my father
when he was my age
I won’t even know I’m dead,
no more than I knew I’d be born
Only the living are subject
to such subjective things
What a waste,
a goddamn waste
in all eternity
Why does consciousness
surface at all
only to drain back
into the vacuum of space?
Yeah, thinking about death sucks
especially lying in bed
tossing and turning
trying to sleep
Wish I could fantasise instead,
tucked up nice and cosy
dreaming about all things rosy,
Like those early simians
who went to sleep as monkeys
woke up knowledge-hungry,
bipedal junkies,
after digesting the original
chicken-and-egg omelette
that self-prepared in a forest fire
As for me,
I can’t even distinguish
divine awe
from Sod’s Law
since that probabilistic day
my buttered toast fell
and landed vertical on the floor
Such aberrations occur,
stuff one cannot conjure or control
Adult stuff?
If you like!
Except kids experience (stuff) too!
Most frustrating part:
the universe tells no lies,
only portrays truth,
albeit in an emergent sense
Past to present tense,
the future unravels;
knock-on effects travel,
sometimes producing
sudden knock-backs
as temporal waves
come knocking on one’s door
Still, I’m with the action now;
life hasn’t gone away
Besides, if I knew everything
or was omnipotent,
I’d eventually bore myself to death
in every possible way.
?
so came the morning
and just look at my pillow
well and truly fluffed
By
David Kavanagh
TOP GUN.
A keen jet pilot broke the speed of sound
A loud sonic boom he caused on the ground
House windows were broken
The whole town awoken
Claims from lawyers to the air force abound...
SANTA ON THE RUN
Santa got pulled over on the highway
Cops told him a light had gone on his sleigh
Santa said I'm in a rush
Cracked his whip shouted mush mush
The reindeers galloped off up and away...
QUEUE FOR THE LOO (FICTIONAL WRITE).
Have you noticed there is always a queue
Not outside the gents, only the girls loo
Business takes a minute
What do they do in it ?
They spend time gossiping that's what they do...
BILLY BLACKSMITH.
Billy the blacksmith was stoking his fire
The next horse up for shoeing was a shire
Then blacksmith Billy felt
A kick below the belt
Now high pitched is soprano in the choir...
INDUSTRIAL ACTION.
The reindeer decided to go on strike
Made demands that old Santa didn't like
He said it's Christmas eve
And I've soon got to leave
So he sacked them and rode off on his bike...
Written 19th November 2019.
“Devoid of decorum and dignity”
Is one of the quotes that I heard.
To know it relates to the POTUS debates
Is as awful as it is absurd.
On one side, a bully whose bluster
Would get him suspended from school;
With no self-control and a hole in his soul,
He’s a pompous, perfidious fool.
On the other side, he who’d replace him
Wants to pacify, help and unite
Yet in making his case, what instead he must face
Is a nasty below-the-belt fight.
In the middle, befuddled and helpless,
Is the person who should be in charge
But when things go off-track, he can’t stop the attack,
Like a substitute teacher writ large.
We watch, feeling sick and despondent,
In shock at how low we have sunk
And that outrage and shame, for which we have no name,
Lingers on in a nightmarish funk.
Got to hold it together, try to keep my cool,
Even when dealing, with imbecilic fools,
Should know better, but they freak me out,
When in the wrong, they just scream and shout,
My problem is, I won’t back down,
Especially if right, and dealing with clowns,
Should I be the one, to hold my tongue,
Guess it all stems, from when I was young,
Always had to, stand up for myself,
Show any weakness, get beaten up, no help,
That’s my dilemma, remains with me today,
I’m wiser now, still can’t turn the other way,
Hold your ground, never let bullies off, scot-free,
Face them down, no good cowards, you’ll see,
Only seek easy targets, to punch below the belt,
Fight back hard you Lion, watch their bravado melt.
By
David Kavanagh
HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT
Hello brother and how are you.
I know you been upset because of the things I am doing.
Tomorrow is just another adventurous day.
My life is an ascertain maze.
Each extreme that I experience
Watches me within my memory.
Is it you that state I am living dangerously?
That may be the case.
Here I am for you to put me in my place.
Yet, will this mean anything at all?
Of course, I will listen and provide you with due respect.
Unless you are not that projected and
Regards become irate
Because you negate
Essence of my personal recourse.
Such offensiveness should not be voiced.
Therefore, I am here to provide my undivided attention.
Silently, I will listen.
Helping you to remove your frustration.
Otherwise, you are fine with what I do.
To you brother, much ado.
Or else, hit me with your best shot.
However, do not stretch the truth.
Hello as well sister and you may have a seat.
I tell you that you are not at all discreet.
Today is another part of the future.
Mountains you certainly have climbed.
Each time you overcome an obstacle
We do not intertwine, nonetheless,
I know that your life has unbind.
Thus, it is not for me to question.
However, I will discuss
Your acumen in choices
Out of all the options that was there.
Unless there was a threat even in the most
Remote form, you
Being that ideal that will unshackle
Everyone.
Such defensiveness is understood.
True, I suppose be there for you.
So you have come to chastise.
Hindrance is not forthcoming as you unbraid your hair.
Of course, I will correct you when you are wrong and have over stated yourself.
To thine self-reproof as well.
Hit me with your best shot.
Just not below the belt.
____________________________________________|
Scribed June 21, 2015!
Tomorrow’s history makers
Future record breakers
Are the infants of this day
They should be taught well
In order to lead the way
They should be taken forward
In the fear of God
By the responsible one’s above them
Ye parents, guardians and lecture givers
Train them to keep of boozing
Instruct them never to go logger heads
Improve their knowledge of moral uprightness
So as not to make their regime
Bite the just
Our guardians of later days
Subtract yourselves from the disguised devils
Less they turn you into a bag of disgust
Make yourself confident in yourself
And keep a cold shoulder
Of relying on them
Or at last you become failure’s hosts
Disembark from the plane of the unjust
And board the plane of the just
Desist from hitting below the belt
And permit fairplay to rule
For it is a praise worthy value
Let the truth prevail in all you do
Let your attitude be reflected in your records
So as to be known as an accountable man
And a scrupulously honest woman
Always be on the level
So that they would be your face saver
When the doubting Thomas talks
Deprive yourself from going against the rules
Even when you fail
But move on gallantly
Till you win the race
Lend a helping hand
To those who lose
When you win
Cease to get satisfied
With where you are
Escape from the clutches of laziness
For it hinders your success
Put your best foot forward
And work as if your whole life depends on it
Don’t mask yourself from your responsibility
Express love and care to your mother land
Show her all the beauty
She possess inside her
Give her the strength of pride
To be a gallant bride.
Omebe Rita
I inserted a suppository right after I had been using super glue.
My hand is stuck in my butt and I don't know what I'm going to do.
When I went to the hospital, the doctors and nurses laughed.
They were in hysterics from laughter and they called me daft.
When they laughed, it offended me so I kicked the doctors below the belt.
They kicked me out and blacklisted me because they didn't like how it felt.
Because of my problem, I can't drive a car or ride my bike.
I can't afford a taxi so to get to places, I have to hitchhike.
The drivers also laugh and I have to slap them to make them keep their mouths shut.
It's been three years and I don't think I'll ever be able to get my hand out of my butt.
(This is a fictional poem)
He the heir of ding a-ling
Not to proclaim again
The universe; below the belt of lonesome theme
Nothing like Euripedes scale?
Warriors! Abide no more!
Let him hear! By anothers winter's tale!
Let him speak!
Verbalize his own ideals of the will
Free of justice, back his wealth in need of triduum
He's the man of knowledge, the half was taken
Forbids not to take the road again!
Don't kill! He may endure cynism beyond pain!
Let him freed!
He's not Echo who just love himself
He, the scientist of the noble minds
Of an old aphorism in 1513
Please! Do not my King, in Napoleon's name!
His words are gait sparred
Oh! Like him is just a continuation of pendulous fame
He's not Gods, nor Greek, nor French
His human by all faith and means
Do not kill! His worth more than any of cunneus wedge
More than you'll know my kin
Do not let him die in his sentence...
It became more than just a hunch
When I heard they met again over lunch
I called and asked her whats up?
But her answers didn’t add up
She said this and she said that
And for a while we were cat and rat
I probed and grilled her more and more
Said I wouldn’t quit till we settled the score
Told her I had enough evidence
To expose her decadence
She cried but I wouldn’t have none of it
I yelled “out with it! Enough of your ****!”
But had I known I wouldn’t have
Coz the truth sliced my heart in half
She confirmed that my guess was right, our love had lost its clout
It felt like a punch below the belt when she spelt it all out
She said she wasn’t cheating on me with him
Instead, she was cheating on him with me
I was dumbfounded
Or should I say astounded?
All I could do was ask myself why
Didn’t know whether to laugh or cry
And to be honest, it really didn't matter
Whether I did the former or the latter
Words in anger flow
black like tar and crow
below the belt, they land
blow by blow the mouth the mighty hand
Frustration and anger collide
taking it all in our stride
stepping on everything sacred
respect is gone it has faded
Anticipating the blame and disgust
shredding the last bit of trust
who is to blame is important
the nagging is terribly constant
Arguments are deadly weapons
they are supposed to be lessons
angry words leave lasting impressions
Won't do any more of these sessions
Soon the silence lays claim
no longer about who's to blame
things are no longer the same
and that is an awful shame.
At times when life seems full of ****
and you are growing tired of it,
when joy's been torn from out your soul
and left you feeling far from whole.
It's then that you, and you alone
can find another pathway home,
forget the hand that you've been dealt
and all life's blows below the belt.
Take all the misery and pain
and change it into lifelong gain,
Just like masochists all do,
laugh at those who would hurt you.
For they're not worthy of your kind
don't ever let them bend your mind,
if only bad things pave your way
don't let just 'luck' control your day.
The new pathways, that you’ll then take,
should bring forth laughter from heartache.
For this is how life's battle's won,
through all life's pains…still have some fun!
Ivor G Davies
Billy Bob King the boxer felt
entitled to punch below the belt.
Not because he was a cheating swine.
His lack of height, set a low punchline.
Trotters: A Very Dangerous Delicacy!
Trotters and knuckle bones
Is a rare meal, real treat.
Cordon Bleau of repute
Will moan of cooking time-
Simmering that last eternity,
And the massive power bill
That hits below the belt!
But popular myth attached
To the slimy delicacy
With soup thick and slippery
And salty: Aphrodisiac.
But, one thing for sure;
Once you kiss your girlfriend
Prepare for the sweet woe
Of sleeping away from home,
With slimy soup on your lips
To her, you’ll stick forever!
JM
19th Nov’ 2013
HOW COME, I AM A DIRT OR
A SHOCK ABSORBER!
Never mind the insult
That, for sure I am not
Though in bad light
I’m likened to a dirt
In a kitchen sink or toilet bath
Strained as it clogs the way adrift.
But unlike in a baseball game
Instead an opponent catches a ball from strike
The runner miss the 1st base
As the referee would consider a lost time
Competition turned over and done
No more to live by and compete.
But to me its not fair and just
As it is a bewilderment
Thereby….cannot accept
As the sly is without reason taints
To down grade to the most in a street
That the slight is never than a fist fight
- below the belt.
Good when I am anatomized
Like a kidney in the body -make
A purifier in the system to filter waste
So as the blood line clear and cleanse
Leave you a day in good mode out of trouble
As that, a shock absorber , I could
possibly be!
You must fall like a feather
And bounce like a ball,
If people cut you short
You must stand really tall.
If kicked while you’re down
Make sure that you get up,
Show you’re a dog with teeth
If they whip you like a pup.
If they dampen your spirit
Show your hope is still dry,
If clouds cover your parade
Make your fly-pass extra high.
If hit hard below the belt
Smile and shake their hand,
If your life goes off course
Just imagine it was planned.
Flex and bend like a willow
But retain a heart of oak,
If someone upsets you
Try and treat it as a joke.
You must fall like a feather
And bounce like a ball,
And - always come out fighting
When your back’s against the wall.