Tom Cunningham Poet Limerick

Tuesday Humour

TOP GUN.

A keen jet pilot broke the speed of sound
A loud sonic boom he caused on the ground
House windows were broken
The whole town awoken
Claims from lawyers to the air force abound...
 
SANTA ON THE RUN

Santa got pulled over on the highway
Cops told him a light had gone on his sleigh
Santa said I'm in a rush
Cracked his whip shouted mush mush
The reindeers galloped off up and away...

QUEUE FOR THE LOO  (FICTIONAL WRITE).

Have you noticed there is always a queue
Not outside the gents, only the girls loo
Business takes  a minute
What do they do in it ?
They spend time gossiping that's what they do...

BILLY BLACKSMITH.

Billy the blacksmith was stoking his fire 
The next horse up for shoeing was a shire
Then blacksmith Billy felt
A kick below the belt
Now high pitched is soprano in the choir...

INDUSTRIAL ACTION.

The reindeer decided to go on strike 
Made demands that old Santa didn't like
He said it's Christmas eve
And I've soon got to leave
So he sacked them and rode off on his bike...



Written 19th November 2019.

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Caren Krutsinger December 5, 2019 at 6:11 AM Those reindeer deserved to get sacked! I have not heard the term "sacked" for about forty years! Loved remembering that. Tom Cunningham December 5, 2019 at 6:40 AM Thanks Caren, its used a lot in the UK. Tom

Jennifer Proxenos November 25, 2019 at 6:33 AM Great Limericks Tom, you brighten our week with your fun poems. All is well and we are settled - a very lovely home I can call it now, thanks for all your support and concern. Blessings. Jennifer. Tom Cunningham November 25, 2019 at 12:15 PM Thank you very much Jennifer, glad you enjoyed the humour and glad you're all sorted now. Tom

Joseph May November 24, 2019 at 9:50 PM I enjoyed tour limericks Tom..Nicely done.. Tom Cunningham November 25, 2019 at 1:45 AM Thank you Joseph, glad you enjoyed them. Tom.

Andrea Dietrich November 21, 2019 at 8:20 PM I always enjoy seeing your lims!! The one on women's restrooms. it's so unfair. I am FAST when I go in and always I have to wait in lines!! Tom Cunningham November 22, 2019 at 2:47 AM Thanks Andrea, in my defence I did say fictional write lol. Tom

Charles Messina November 21, 2019 at 6:25 AM The master of lim's comes through again! Great set here Tom. Charlie Tom Cunningham November 21, 2019 at 7:05 AM Thanks Charlie, glad you enjoyed my humour. Tom

Maria Williams November 20, 2019 at 9:16 PM You are in fine form my dear Tom. Loved everyone one of your lims, though must admit I'm guilty of holding up the queue, me and my daughter always seem to have something to discuss there, as do so many women, important stuff, we women understand each other Lol....Maria Hugs Tom Cunningham November 21, 2019 at 1:56 AM Thank you Maria, haha, I know what you mean, having a wife and three daughters I've had many a long wait, thought they'd been abducted by aliens lol. Tom

Timothy Mcguire November 20, 2019 at 4:16 PM Ive been missing limericks from you. Great ! A fav for me especially since I do blacksmith work as a hobby! Tom Cunningham November 21, 2019 at 1:53 AM Thanks Timothy, yikes, stand well back from the shire lol. Tom

Robert L. Hinshaw November 20, 2019 at 3:09 PM Tom, I love great lims and these are GREAT ones! Thanks for your kind comments re the gal who talked 90mph! I've know a few of those types myself, and I hasten to admit some of them were men! Good on you always - Bob Tom Cunningham November 21, 2019 at 1:52 AM Thank you very much Bob, its only when they pause for a millisecond that you can quickly get a word in lol. Tom

Anne-Lise Andresen November 20, 2019 at 2:00 PM - Top humor throughout this Tuesday limerick series, Tom :) - Well done ! - hugs // Anne-Lise :) Tom Cunningham November 20, 2019 at 2:16 PM Thanks Anne, happy you enjoyed them. Tom

Richard Lamoureux November 20, 2019 at 9:41 AM Thanks for solving the mystery of the women’s bathroom. These were all fun. Thanks for your return visit Tom. Tom Cunningham November 20, 2019 at 1:13 PM You're welcome Richard, and thank you too. Thought I might get flak from that one so maybe there's truth in it lol. Tom

Regina Mcintosh November 20, 2019 at 6:33 AM So cute, Tom. Love them all... Bless you with many more, Gina Tom Cunningham November 20, 2019 at 1:11 PM Thank you very much Regina, glad you enjoyed them. Tom.

Suzanne Delaney November 20, 2019 at 5:02 AM Ha ha Tom: loved all these and you sure know it when you’ve been kicked by a shire. Their hooves are as large as a dinner plate. Lol SuZ Tom Cunningham November 20, 2019 at 1:08 PM Thanks Suzanne, yes youre right about the shires, saw them at the budweiser display at sea world, didn't get to close though lol. Tom

Lindsay Laurie November 19, 2019 at 11:31 PM G'day Tom … certainly humour of the day. I was below one of them sonic booms year ago, and by crikey, you're not wrong - thank you Tom - Lindsay Tom Cunningham November 20, 2019 at 2:03 AM Yikes that must have been one hell of an experience for you Lindsay. Regards Tom

Gershon Wolf November 19, 2019 at 8:49 PM Masterpieces, Tom. Especially like the last three. ~ Off to work on my bike... Tom Cunningham November 19, 2019 at 8:51 PM Thanks Gershon, happy you enjoyed. Tom

Silent One November 19, 2019 at 4:17 PM Love them.. second one is my favourite.. Tom Cunningham November 19, 2019 at 4:20 PM Thanks S.O. My humour slowly returning. Tom

Panagiota Romios November 19, 2019 at 1:59 PM Love them all Tom! You are terrific. Panagiota xxx Tom Cunningham November 19, 2019 at 2:41 PM Thank you very much Panagiota, im happy you enjoyed them. Tom.

Vijay Pandit November 19, 2019 at 12:44 PM Fantastic Tuesday humor, Tom..a lot of fun! Tom Cunningham November 19, 2019 at 2:39 PM Thanks very much Vijay, glad you liked them. Tom

Na Na November 19, 2019 at 10:39 AM Hi Tom these are good. Thanks for sharing Tom Cunningham November 19, 2019 at 11:08 AM Thanks very much Gregory, I'm happy you enjoyed them. Tom.

Heidi Sands November 19, 2019 at 10:06 AM Great ones Tom. Thanks for sharing these fun Limerick today :) Tom Cunningham November 19, 2019 at 10:22 AM Thank you very much Heidi, glad you enjoyed them. Tom