Best Bart Poems
There was an old man on a cart,
Acquaintances knew him as Bart,
As he only ate beans,
He inflated his jeans,
And smelt of a permanent fart…
Inspired by She’s Like the Wind (which I misheard as She’s Got the Wind, lol)
For Giorgio’s A Song Inspires a Poem contest
Black Bart the PO8
Robbed Wells Fargo in Cal state
His lifestyle—his fate
Claimed his poetry
Not his robbery should have
Jailed him…snobbery
Bart was a colorful fellow.
He liked to dress in bright yellow.
When asked why so bright,
He replied with delight,
"It keeps me from getting too mellow."
8/24/13
Alright all you pigeon chests
Came the sound of thunder from the open door
As Big Bad Bart replaced the space
Giant mountain man of lore
Making his way into the bar
Sweeping Nancy boys out of his way
Stepping up to the the jukebox
Kicking it till some good ole country boy music played
This mountain man has made it his goal
To grab hold and unsissify
Any Wimpy Wally's
That happen to catch his manly eye
He started off his conquest
Out in the great North wood
First stop The Red Eye Back Door Saloon
Need I explain the name to you
He went in with his moral barrels a blazing
But there wasn't much he could do
Village people the only band on the jukebox
Y.M.C.A. being the only tune
He didn't let that little nitch stop him
Or slow him down by any means
Giving America back to the menly men
And not the mousey men with their girly dreams
Till the day that Bart locked eyes with Stanly
In that San Francisco flower bar
Those two haven't left each others side
Going through life now arm and arm
They spend their time skipping through fields of pansies
Giggling freely hand in hand
The way Bart now feels this was meant to be
Mia Mono, Man to Man
Bart's lumberjack buddies can't believe it
And don't know what to think of their friend
Although they all secretly admit
He does look good in those Hot Pink Hot Pants
My apologies to...
The Gays
The Mountain Men
The Lumber Jacks
The makers of Hot Pink Hot Pants
Did I leave anyone out?
If so I apologize for that too!
There once was a chauffeur called Bart,
Who had a Rolls that wouldn’t start.
He wanted to be green -
His boss was very mean -
So now he drives a horse and cart.
The rails always hiss and scream
a steel Woman pierces the ear
drum. We all shake, bobbing and
dancing no skill required you
all do it equally as good
Doors open and close. People
enter and leave. A metallic
ant farm we all live in
together, never ceasing always
alive and kicking, some
of us screaming our
lungs out to unresponsive
gods to unresponsive ear-
canals. We are like stale
fish in a sardine pack, the
last one on the far left,
never bothered by any random
fleshy hand. The steel snake
oozes on through the black
tunnels as we finally reach
our blazing-light destination
arriving, we climb up steel
stairways that lead to another
screaming circus. All peoples
from all places thrive like
a bee hive that a small
child with a gigantic
2X4 smacked, creating
re-energized life. Humming
and buzzing all together
as one unit of blissful
creation. We might all be
moving to different places,
that one thing unites
us all, all in one fluid
motion. Old bookstores,
sanctuaries for people like
us still open.
He plucks away at a
classical guitar, playing
classical tunes which are
recognizable, but the name
always forgotten. Purchase
tomes of poetry, old
friends to be taken home
and put with the rest. Ever
increasing retirement home for the
artistically mad. Hughes and
Yeates are MINE, or
am I theirs? Perhaps its
a tango of verse, we lend
a hand to each other. After
much paying, and walking,
sitting and sleeping, we
return home. But what
does that mean. Home?
Home is where I put
my thoughts to paper, my
poetry to pen. Mozart
I am sure would get it
follow what I say, applaud
me with that silly laugh.
For now I'll accept you
stare with your accepting
eyes.
lol. get click baited.
there isn't no poem.
just me.
and you.
and your thoughts.
hmm...
I have an idea!
how about a game?
duck, duck, goose, how about that?
no? ok
just comment your favourite, food.
yeah, good enough game.
ok, get commenting.
I'm off.
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ok bye.
bible
slime block!
The mayor in our little town
Has grown old as he rules.
That's why what happened just last year
Made us all feel like fools.
The train slowed down and fin'ly stopped
Here in our little town.
A brown eyed beauty smiled and winked
An' stepped down on the ground.
She said, "I heard that Texas men
Can curl a young gal's toes.
I come all the way from Kansas
To find me one of those."
The saucy gal said, "Where's your mayor?
Seems like the place to start.
He'll know the single men in town.
I heard his name is Bart."
Next mornin' we all gathered round
To watch her catch the train.
But there she was on Bart's front porch
Singin' some old refrain.
She said, "Howdy boys, lovely morn!
Ol' Bart's just sleepin' late.
If you'd bring up my clothes and things
I'd sure appreciate."
Well, we was stunned to say the least
As we brung up her clothes.
Who'd have thought it'd be ol' Bart
To curl them Kansas toes...
August 22, 2016
I had a best friend whose name was Bart
All the girls thought he was cute and smart
Many wanted to date him
He often went to the gym
He’s single because of Mr. Fart
2/07/20
Alexis Y.
She wanted me to meet her pet, but I was not ready to go yet.
Her enormous python and giant black cobra I had already met.
Alligator? Crocodile? Probably something that could tear me apart.
I made excuses for six days, until she said his name is Bart.
Bart? Hmmm. Bart a Billy goat? Bart a bat? Bart a bumblebee?
And he has fur, she added. A mink? A cat? A grizzly?
What is Bart? I asked. For what did I have to lose?
Just get over here, she insisted. And bring my borrowed shoes.
So I went on over, and knocked on the door, shaking a little.
A tomcat came over and unlocked it. He was playing a fiddle.
Where is she? I asked. Tomcat nodded to the kitchen. In with Bart.
I walked slowly toward her and got a shock. Jumped with a start!
What is it? I asked her, fascinated with this creature and his yellow eyes.
I wish I knew, she admitted. He came with a tag that said “Surprise!”
Bart said into earpiece, “I have three specimens, ready for beam up.”
We got taken seconds later, along with Fiddler playing Tomcat Buttercup.
When we were on our way in a giant space ship to outer space
I said to my sister, “This is an embarrassment, a total disgrace.”
“What about me?” she said. “A home invasion, and I was kidnapped by a toy.”
It happens I told her. “Remember tale of Helen of Troy?”
Of all the tales I've heard
And all ballads that I've read
It's one scary little word
That keeps sticking in my head
And unlike any other
This sets all tales apart
I'm here to tell you brother
Of the one and only Bart
Now Bart did most his livin'
In the nineteen eighties
Because was unforgiven
Spent some of it in Hades
Since Heaven didn't need him
For his wicked little ways
The Devil chose to bleed him
For the rest of his days
From the very beginning
He was Satan's biggest pawn
Cuz he does all his sinning
At night from dusk to dawn
You'd better catch your wind
And prepare for his attack
He'll pretend to be your friend
And then stab you in the back
If you haven't heard of him
I thought that I'd remind you
So like the rest of them
Look out! He's right behind you
.
She watched, with beam hern showed hot spark
Sum say, she jumped up shouting "Bart"
Sun Time's said with jest
"Squirming, her blouse crests.
Stoned she, slipped out nips rough az bark"
*one would have to understand
'Limericks' to roll with this write
necessary punctuations i must admit
to ease the humor in... Lines 1,2, and 5
must ryhme, 3,4 likewise
ab aab aab
ab aab
if one iz curious, please look up "Limericks"
G BART AND LITTLE ED
Big Bart was a mean guy killed people just for fun
First he’d stab em with a knife then shoot em with his gun
Little Ed was a shy guy the nicest you ever saw
Till that day came when Big Bart killed his paw
Bart came from the badlands down New Mexico way
Said he once killed a man for not saying hay
Ed didn’t like trouble his dad raised him right
Never did he have a reason to get mad or get in a fight
Big Bart walked into a saloon and told everybody to leave
And said that guy dealing the cards has an ace up his sleeve
Little Ed walked into the saloon told Bart he was gonna take him down
Told him to meet him in the street or leave this town
Big Bart and Little Ed faced each other ready to make a draw
Big Bart just laughed at Ed and said here I am the law
They fired thirty shots at each other all thirty missed
They shot the town to pieces and the mayor was pissed
Then out of no where a shot rang out in the air
Bart just laughed at people running like he didn’t have a care
Then all of a sudden Big Bart feel to his knees
Yelled I’ve been shot somebody help me please
Nobody knows who fired the shot that took Big Bart down
But now Little Ed is the sheriff of that town
Marty West
Why can't I change?
Searching for a change...
In my mind...
I'd have 2 rewind...
My tape's, and make a new...
Mixtape, with all my mistakes...
Take place...
In this KRAZY ass world...
Full of hurdels...
Obstacles & Chemicals
Make me unbalanced...
With KRAZY toughts...
Of my near future...
Very unseen...
Smoked out fortunes?
Lost in apoem...
Lost in written words,
Will never get heard...
Never understanding the pain
That a women goes thru
Because I am Man...
Growing into Old Age...
Without my elders,
I seek shelter...
And not a roof over...
My head...
But the guidance when
I feel dead...
Yes, when I feel dead
Cold - Hearted,
Wanted to be departed
From self...
KRAZY