Come Meet Bart

She wanted me to meet her pet, but I was not ready to go yet. Her enormous python and giant black cobra I had already met. Alligator? Crocodile? Probably something that could tear me apart. I made excuses for six days, until she said his name is Bart. Bart? Hmmm. Bart a Billy goat? Bart a bat? Bart a bumblebee? And he has fur, she added. A mink? A cat? A grizzly? What is Bart? I asked. For what did I have to lose? Just get over here, she insisted. And bring my borrowed shoes. So I went on over, and knocked on the door, shaking a little. A tomcat came over and unlocked it. He was playing a fiddle. Where is she? I asked. Tomcat nodded to the kitchen. In with Bart. I walked slowly toward her and got a shock. Jumped with a start! What is it? I asked her, fascinated with this creature and his yellow eyes. I wish I knew, she admitted. He came with a tag that said “Surprise!” Bart said into earpiece, “I have three specimens, ready for beam up.” We got taken seconds later, along with Fiddler playing Tomcat Buttercup. When we were on our way in a giant space ship to outer space I said to my sister, “This is an embarrassment, a total disgrace.” “What about me?” she said. “A home invasion, and I was kidnapped by a toy.” It happens I told her. “Remember tale of Helen of Troy?”