Best Agin Poems
"Edith! Edith! I didn't find a Twinkie in my lunch bucket today!
What happened, Dingbat? Why do you torture me this way?"
"But Archie, ain't you seen on TV they ain't makin' 'em anymore?
The company is foldin' up and they ain't stockin' 'em at the store!"
"I blame you fer this disaster, Meathead, you and yer pinko friends!
The greedy union reached too far killin' jobs on which people depends!
Yer democrat gov'mint stimulated my tax dollars fer ever' thing in sight!
Instead of blowin' money on green inergy, I'd like some to solve my plight!"
"But, Daddy" - poking his gut - "fast food like Twinkies isn't good for you!"
"Let me tell you somethin', little girl! That may be yer lib'ral point of view!
My life ain't never gonna be the same agin without Twinkies fer a snack!
Them things is as American as yer mother's punkin' pie and I want 'em back!"
"I fought for the flag, baseball, Coca Cola and Twinkies in Dubya Dubya Two!
I slogged through the mud in Italy and was shot in a very fragile area too!
Now, I feel that it was all in vain to pertect all them things I hold dear!
No Twinkies for my lunch? Stifle yerselfs! I'm goin' to Kelsey's fer a beer!"
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Pweeze wet me expwain, officer -
I taught it was dat wascally wabbit agin...
buwwowing under my ewectric fence,
eating up my cawwots. wettece, my bwoccoli
and-and...even my woot-a-beggers!
He's a weal pest...constantwee hawassing me,
destwoying, wandom wooting, wuining my cwop...
din waughing at me! (Dere outta be a waw)
Wha...awwest me?...Dis is an outwage!
I am a waw-abiding citizen!...Wead me my wights!
I demand pwoper mis-wepwesentation!
I am going diwectly to your superwior office, pwivate!
Bewieve it my fwiend, you will wive to wegwet this...
Ow! Must you be so fweekin WUFF?...Dat hoits!
I have woomatism you know! Powice bwutality! Po...
Aw scwew it...Wes! Wes! I moidered da widdle bum!
(Wunning awound dwessed wike dat
distwibuting doze siwwie cowoured eggs
Embawassing widdle cweature...
It's a downwight disgwace I tell you)
2/26/2013
Sank that Annie Laurie, down beneath those waves,
Took with her such fine young crew and not a life she saves.
Left there on the mountain,
Just the wives, the gals, the slaves.
Ne'er hunt nor e'er sing shall these lads so lost,
To mountain folk only known that which had been cost.
Banjos ne'er plucked agin,
Danced their last these kin.
Guitar now does stand forlorn,
Futures so then thusly shorn.
Sank that Annie Laurie, down beneath those waves,
Took with her those mountain folk to coldest watery graves.
SeaWolf
©
This depression, got me down;
Seems like no one cares, no ones around;
Feeling, sad and so blue;
Seems like, I don't have you;
Lord, I don't have, have you;
I prayed
just prayed
and still
have no way to show for what you have said
so over and over again. . . I pray
I just found out;
I began having doubts;
My mind it's clout? ? ?
What am I doing that's. . . .
what's wrong with you God
Do you hear me calling you, Lord;
What am I to do OH!! so I repent of myself, and just held myself and I, I, just...
I prayed
just prayed
and still
have no way to show for what you have said, what you do or did;
so over and over again. . . I just prayed
All I ever needed is a forgiving someone;
And a love of mine own;
so I stop sheading these tears I'm crying;
Need to stand up and be a Godly man(woman);
so I prayed
just prayed
and still prayed forever and a day
Lord, God I'll let you have your way in my life come here do what you do what's may cause all I want to do is just
Pray
And I fell on my knees;
And cried out to the Lord please;
Please save me, save me, save me;
so I prayed
just prayed
and still good God almighty I am entitled to pray and stay in the will of His and be one of many child's so I fall on my knees over and o'ver agin and just
Pray
I close my eyes with a sincere heart;
myself bleeds and I stay in His presents;
He embraces me caress me forgiving me He engulfs me in His agape love;
and I prayed
and I prayed
and I prayed and asked for forgiveness
each and every second, minute, hour, morning, noon, night, (always)
and I prayed
just prayed
and I prayed
for the answers
and I prayed for blessings;
and I prayed for longevity;
and I prayed to be with Him, forever in Heaven;
and I prayed for you;
will you pray for me to;
May God bless those that read these words;
so I prayed
for your life
and I prayed
that everything will be alright
and I prayed
for all mankind
and when things get you down
and no one seems to care
just go inside your closet and stay..
just pray
this I pray
and I prayed
Written by James Edward Lee Sr. June 21 2017(c)
From the forth coming anthology "Really" 2017(c)
Sing tae me the auld sangs that ah learnt when a bairn,
Sitting at ma mithers knee hearin the lilting tunes,
Carrying me far awa in ma mind
Wurds o the land whaur ah live
An love aw the deys o ma life.
The auld sangs o Caledonia uv heroes ,fermers an unco ithers,
Auld yins wi tales tae tell o plooghmen wi ther hoarses
Running trecks in the fields
Ready fur seed hoping tae grow,
Berley,oats and wheat an aw.
O shepherds an ther dugs so clever an quick,
Chasing the yowes ower hill an glen,
Hardy people wummin an men,
Oot in a wethers hail,rain ur sna,
Lookin fur the yin that’s lost.
Auld sangs bring memories back pintin the wey tae gaw,
Daw we daur tae learn from them wisdom an aw,
Wi a sigh an a tear in oor een,
At the end o the year wi sentiment seen
Auld sangs agin lustily sung.
Andrew mcintyre 18 lanuary 2021.
Since this is to complain about second hand smoke,
you're welcome to sing along....
though if you're a sucker, don't ya choke...
trying to puff and sing this song,
Smoking is a harmful part of air pollution..
not only for the sucker on the other end,
and if they re-tax each pack it won't bring a real solution..
just another hack!...cough!...and grin,
And hey sucker....there's baby sister....
coughing as she awoke....
yea sucker there's baby brother..
breathing your second hand smoke,
And for each puff of pollution you send,
may you cough and hack over and agin,
'til your bad habit ever ends.....
you're the sucker on the other end!
Yea sucker there's little sister...
breathin' your second hand smoke!
hey sucker there's little brother...
chokin' as he awoke...from your second hand smoke.
Been travelin' the country side,
punchin' cows and makin' my way,
Been weeks lookin' at cattle hide,
hotter than _ell 'n' not much pay,
It's up and at'em before dawn,
on a horse and saddle all day,
Money made, then gets gone,
with drinkin' and cards ta play,
Ain't seen my dear girl Betsy Lou,
for might near a year ta day,
I know someday gonna get back to,
her and her country girl ways,
Yea, we're gonna buy a spread,
something to call our own,
I'm gonna buy her a feather bed,
and never ever agin be gone,
On the trail means livin' rough,
it's a life what gets so old,
If cow punchin' cash ain't enough,
It's to California pannin' fer gold.
Well, I've been in jail since Juvember,
And I've pulled thru Maynever,
And now it's past September,
And I wonder if I'll ever,
Get out of here,
Yea, this place sure would be lonely,
If it wasn't for my pet,
And he sure is real homely,
But still, my love he'll get,
He sleeps in a matchbox,
And wakes up in my bed,
He's sometimes in my socks,
Or a layin' by my head,
I enter him in races ,
With all my criminal friends,
And me, he never disgraces,
My race-roach always wins,
He can really move fast,
One second for five feet,
And I sure hope his legs will last,
So he'll never get beat,
And he holds the track record,
Here in this ol' jail,
And he might just beat it,
But only time will tell,
But then one day my race roach
Was walking on my shelf,
When he suddenly fell off of it,
And nearly killed himself,
So I hollered for the Sheriff,
And he came a runnin' fast,
I told him to call the doctor,
Or my race roach wouldn't last,
Well, the doctor came a flyin'
A little later in the day,
I told him my race roach is dying,
What more could I say?
The doctor said I am sorry son,
But his leg will never bend,
I believe his career's done,
He'll never win agin,
So I started crying,
I cried agin and agin,
I almost felt like dying,
Now my roach would never win,
So the doctor took him away,
Yea, he took him out the door,
And I just have to say,
I haven't seen him anymore,
But what really puzzles me,
Is where'd he take my "baby bug?"
I wish he'd bring him back to me,
So I could give him one more hug!!
Hey!!!I just caught another one,
A little faster than the last!
This little "Bugsie" can get it on!!!
Gosh is he ever fast!!!!!
My life is a Rollercoaster
My life is a rollercoaster
filled with emotional highways, fast ups, faster downs,
crashing myself into euphoria smiling, waving
at every person i see wondering why they dont wave back,
or smile, when they see me
not always the other way around.
So i go down, and crash for an instant
as my heart hurts of failed attempts
to try and communicate with the mindless.
Seconds later,
I smash into the sky the happiest ive ever felt
induced from a single thought
in a milisecond
a surge of energy electrifys my mind, tickles my bones
and shocks my senses leaving me enchanted,
exuberant and pure, grateful and delighted.
Thoughts of appreciation, for things i have,
for who i am as a person, and who
i have in my life,
flood my brain with chemicals of euphoric taste
and i feel like a million bucks without a suitcase,
loose and free.
With a million thoughts and feelings which will i choose?
Where do emotions come from, where are they born?
Are the sparked from thought?
Are they molded by sight?
Are they crafted by the mind?
I feel them.
I create them.
I forge them with tools.
Emotional blacksmith by the fire, learning
to synthesize desirable feelings only.
Positive re-inforcement of the mind
seems to be the key but copied, as feelings
of hostility and disgust sneak into my mind
bringing hatred and jealousy through the back door
contaminating my character.
Smoke stacks of media pollution burn inside my head
so i find myself more often these days
locked in my room with lit candles
in deep meditation within each deeper breath
the vandal disappears and i am left
with myself and nobody else,floating
becoming one with the universe, at
the same time i become one with myself.
The rollercoaster stops,
and so does time.
It doesnt start agin till i open my eyes.
So i keep them shut.
Communicating with the universe, thinking
of a single thought detoxifying my mind
pouring light onto my brain in buckets bright,
pure,
filled to the top,
i think of sharing this ride with with her,
for the ride is not important,
its who rides with you.
Andrew West
2009
I woke this mornin' anticipatin' a steamin' cup o' joe,
But peerin' out the winder I saw piles and piles of snow!
My, oh my, how I pined to live in sunny Arizony,
But no, the missus insisted we retire in Colorady!
I would've much preferred to continue my cozy snooze,
But duty called so I donned my mackinaw and overshoes.
For a while that savory cup o' java I must forego,
And attack the mounds of blowin' and driftin' snow!
Facin' me was three foot drifts of that fluffy stuff.
I knew I was in for a challengin' huff and puff!
Neighbors greeted each other with frosty hellos,
Then all dug in with shovels and flyin' elbows!
I had the sidewalk and driveway very nearly cleared,
When comin' around the bend, a roarin' truck appeared!
'Twas the county snow removal guy and with a silly grin,
Heaped snow back upon my driveway much to my chagrin!
After a couple of cups of coffee that I had consumed,
I agin tackled the drive which needed to be exhumed!
This snow shovelin' thing was sure gettin' out of hand,
But I reckon I could be in Arizony shovelin' driftin' sand!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved
I reckon to us city dudes an' ordinary blokes it seems somewhat strange,
But a cowpoke an' his horse become pards when ridin' the lonely range!
Pausin' fer a roll-yer-own under a ponderosa after a hot ride on the grange,
He might alight from the saddle, lean agin his hoss an' hold this exchange:
"Dan, ol' pard, me an' you has spent years ridin' them bobbed war fences.
I sure do like yer company, ol' pal, 'cause you ain't got no pretenses!
You ain't like them wimmen folk I knows - they is jes' a common scold!
You don't give me any sass an' you kindly do what yer told!"
"I reckon as long as I kin tolerate Cooky's grub an' you git yer oats to eat,
We kin abide the cantankerous boss, rattlesnakes an' the prickly heat.
We've rode togither in mud, dust, sleet an' rain an' the blowin' snow,
An' ye've been a good an' faithful cuss, I jes wanted ye to know!"
"I 'preciate yer toleratin' my git-tar strummin durin' night cattle guard,
When me an' you soothe them dogies when it's a-thunderin' real hard!
I don't know 'bout you, ol' Dan, but I have lotsa time to ponder,
Jes' a-gazin' at the wonder of them mountain ranges over yonder!"
"I ain't never gonna git rich cowboyin', an' ain't that the truth!
But, ol' pard, that's all I ever hankered to do ever since my youth!
Well, if'n yer ready to hit the trail agin I'll saddle up ol' friend.
We has got a heap of work to do before this day comes to an end!"
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
I'm stuck in the town of "Rotgut",
not far from San Antone!
I work in the "Silver Dollar",
a saloon, that's quite well known!
I'm what's known as the bar-keep,
I can't remember for how long?
It could be more than twenty years,
but, there agin I could be wrong!
There ain't much to do in Rotgut!
There really ain't much action!
In fact, the Silver Dollar,
seems to be the main attraction!
Danny's our piano man.
He loves to sit and play!
Our three Dance Hall girls are getting old
and have seen their better day!
Most nights, it's the same ole crowd,
doin' what gets done!
Jud and his pals, dealin' cards,
drinkin' beer and havin' fun!
Spanky, my ole hounddog,
lies sleepin' on the floor!
At the spot, he spends most all his time,
just inside the bars front door!
Usually, there's a stranger or two,
drinkin' at the bar!
If they're not stayin' in Rotgut,
we don't care, who they are!
Sheriff Dan, does check them out!
He lets them know this fact!
If troublemaking is their aim,
then get out, and don't come back!
That's Rotgut, as I see it!
Although, it cannot be denied,
it's a lonely, dirty, rundown place,
but, it's where us folks reside!
Cap'n & the Wench *part the fourth*
Says the Wench t'the Cap'n "Me thinks I'll 'ave me some White Lightnin' "
So says the Cap'n t'the Wench "Go right ahead Me Dear~
Fer y've ne'er been quite so Frightnin' "
With an Evil Grin & a Twinkle in his Eye~
So's the Wench did notice & then By & By~
& did say to the Cap'n "Be mindin' Yer P's & Q's!"
"Fer Me's the Wench what Decides that which Ye Do!"
"Yer no Grinnin'Porpoise & that there's no Danged Flipper!"
"Har!" says the Cap'n ~ "I am though the Skipper!"
The Wench danced along the Bowsprit of the Great Vessel that Night~
Whilst Mighty SeaWolf stormed along the Decks with all of his Might~
Sails which had lay flat now filled Fastly with Breeze~
Now came that night most Confused sort of Seas~
The Great ship did lay over as Far as she'd Go~
And 'twas the Wench who no longer Ran to & Fro~
Now did those geat waves Break o'er the Ship
Not even the the Great SeaWolf could give 'em the Slip~
Upon the Great Ship and all Her Captain & Crew~
Had befallen the luck Uncommon to but a Few~
For the Great Ship No longer Sailed O'er the Oceans~
And the Mighty SeaWolf drifted toward other Notions~
Says the Wench to the Cap'n "Me thinks I'll rap ya up side o'yer Head!"
So says the Cap'n to the Wench "Go right ahead Me Dear!~
Fer 'twas you brung young Mimi to Bed!"
With an Evil Grin & a Twinkle in his Eye~
So's the Wench did notice & then By & By~
& did say to the Cap'n "Be mindin' Yer P's & Q's!"
"Fer Me's the Wench what Decides that which Ye Do!"
"Yer no Grinnin'Porpoise & that there's no Danged Flipper!"
"Har!" says the Cap'n ~ "I am No Longer the Skipper!"
The Great Ship is Never Seen Sailin' Agin on the Seas....
Spirits were Never that with which this Hardy Wench to Please!
SeaWolf
My roots are were love begins gram paw was my best friend
Always loving and caring for me till the end
We always talk loved an shared to each other everything
As I walk to the stone that bears his name it's only a small reminder
Of his love he showed an the tear that I shed from pain
We were best of all friends never new till the end
He showed me everything I no pleas lord send me to heaven so I can see him agin
I grew up on a farm that was his whenever I needed to cry he lint his arm
Never backing down from me when I did right or wrong alway their
Showing me what life should be he was my true friend even past the end
I love you papaw till we meet agin my gram-paw and best friend
Cap'n & the Wench *part the second*
Says the Wench to the Cap'n "I thinks I'll have Me a Tequila!"
So says the Cap'n to the Wench "Go right ahead Me Dear~
I'll be hard a'lee ta feel Ya!"
With an Evil Grin & a Twinkle in his Eye~
So's the Wench did notice & then By & By~
& did say to the Cap'n "Be mindin' Yer P's & Q's!"
"Fer Me's the Wench what Decides that which Ye Do!"
"Yer no Grinnin'Porpoise & that there's no Danged Flipper!"
"Har!" says the Cap'n ~ "I am though the Skipper!"
The Wench ran afo'rd from foc'sl to the Sprit~
The Cap'n knew this'n Wouldn't Swoon & Quit~
Up & Down all Headstays~Chasin' Each Other Fast~
'Til all Sharks in the Channels were Quite Aft Aghast~
The Mighty North Wind did so Howl that Wild Stormy Night....
The Great Ship did Roll with Nary a Wave in Sight....
When then there a'sudden was a Tremendous Bolt from Darkened Blue....
"Har!" Says the Wench " ~ 'Twas Me... I Figgered Ye Knew!"
Now & Then that Cap'n was so rightfully a'Top~
Yet Lil'Wench was the One Who simply wouldn't Stop!~
She Screamed from the MastHead & Hollered from the Riggin'~
Har! Mighty Cap'n let's keep on just a'Friggin'!
The Ol' Cap'n soon Found Hisself Danglin' from the Mizzen~
Only that which Held 'im Fast had Now completely Risen!
Slidin' down the Backstay was the Only Proper Choice~
Fer the Wench's Little Thighs were Stronger than her Voice!
Now in Ports where all Pyrates finally to a Dock come a'Side~
Ne'er does a Man or Woman really Know how was that Wild Ride~
Now the Bows & the Belly of the Ship were Finally Quiet~
The Wench had gone Below with Her Bellyachin' Pyrate!
The Great Ship is Seen Oft enough Sailin' Agin on the Seas....
With Always enough Tequila with which that Hardy Wench to Please!
SeaWolf