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My Life Is a Rollercoaster

My life is a Rollercoaster

My life is a rollercoaster
	filled with emotional highways, fast ups, faster downs,
	crashing myself into euphoria smiling, waving
	at every person i see wondering why they dont wave back,
		or smile, when they see me
			not always the other way around.
So i go down, and crash for an instant
	as my heart hurts of failed attempts
	to try and communicate with the mindless.
		Seconds later,
	I smash into the sky the happiest ive ever felt
		induced from a single thought
			in a milisecond
		a surge of energy electrifys my mind, tickles my bones
		and shocks my senses leaving me enchanted,
					exuberant and pure, grateful and delighted.
Thoughts of appreciation, for things i have,
	for who i am as a person, and who
		i have in my life,
	flood my brain with chemicals of euphoric taste
	and i feel like a million bucks without a suitcase,
				loose and free.
	With a million thoughts and feelings which will i choose?

Where do emotions come from, where are they born?
	Are the sparked from thought?
	Are they molded by sight?
	Are they crafted by the mind?
		I feel them.
		I create them.
		I forge them with tools.
Emotional blacksmith by the fire, learning
			to synthesize desirable feelings only.
	Positive re-inforcement of the mind
seems to be the key but copied, as feelings
	of hostility and disgust sneak into my mind
bringing hatred and jealousy through the back door
		contaminating my character.

Smoke stacks of media pollution burn inside my head
	so i find myself more often these days
		locked in my room with lit candles
	in deep meditation within each deeper breath
		the vandal disappears and i am left
	with myself and nobody else,floating
		becoming one with the universe, at
	the same time i become one with myself.
The rollercoaster stops,
and so does time.
It doesnt start agin till i open my eyes.
So i keep them shut.
Communicating with the universe, thinking
	of a single thought detoxifying my mind
	pouring light onto my brain in buckets bright,
				pure,
			filled to the top,
		i think of sharing this ride with with her, 
			for the ride is not important,
					its who rides with you.




Andrew West  
2009

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