This was written from the heart.
Never knew it'd come to this.
I don't know where to start.
Mama, your son gotta kind heart!
But every day, the world's telling me to play my part.
From a boy to a man, I had to transcend.
Like a pea in a pot, I had to grow up.
Never once complained when it's time to show up.
I've been scarred, betrayed, and left to fend for myself.
No one's fault but mine, for trust don't get you far.
So I've learned to keep my heart dark, like a tint up car.
And fight it by myself this internal war.
Sorry it took me so long to understand.
The world's doesn't cater for the weak.
That every man's battle is in their own hands.
Win or lose, you gotta stand strong.
And a man's tears are as worthless as a dollar coin.
The older I get, there's thing's I comprehend.
Like family can be your biggest hater, nothing like a friend.
And you gotta answer to God for every sin.
I apologize for not knowing this in the beginning.
APOLOGY
I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE
YOU EXIST
I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE
YOU BREATHE
YOU FEEL
YOU MAKE YOUR OWN CHOICES
I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE
YOU HAVE YOUR ONW POTENTIAL
YOU HAVE WILL
YOU HAVE ALL TEN FINGERS AND TOES
YOU STAND ON TWO FEET
YOU ARE BLESSED WITH INTELIGENCE
I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE
YOU EXIST FOR PURPOSE
YOURS TO SEARCH FOR YOURS TO RELISH YOURS TO LIVE FOR
I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE
THAT YOU HAVE INSIGHT BUT CHOOSE TO CLOSE YOUR EYES TO BLESSINGS
I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE
YOU ARE SACARED YOU ARE HERE
It was never my intention,
not a conscious decision,
to cause you any level of grief.
Our give and take wasn’t as envisioned.
Blindly, I let you fall between my gaps.
It’s not right or wrong, but fact that
I got lost in a thronged rhythm
recovering from things life had given.
You have always shone a warm light
selflessly bright into my life.
Stern storms drowned my content,
turned me until forlorn bent.
I pursued a healing renewal but
my drenched attempts were futile -
I didn’t mean to hurl you into my duel.
Please accept my sincere apology
for giving less than you handed me.
I’d never set out to hurt another
but denying friendship gratitude
colors me pallid shades of rude.
I apologize
For all the dandelion necks
I have snapped
I am tired of pretending
that anger is a flaw.
It burns through me clean,
and still they ask for smiles
while standing knee-deep in the ashes.
I wasn't born to swallow my tongue.
I wasn't raised
to fold myself
just so others could stretch.
There were days I begged to be seen,
and when they looked,
they flinched-
as if the truth was too sharp to hold.
But I've learned:
the sharp things are often the most honest.
I don't owe softness
to the ones who
only listen
when I whisper
Hey,
It’s me,
I've been thinking a lot lately,
Do you ever wonder,
Why do we want to know when,
When we could just let go and forget,
Did you ever care,
Or do you even know what game you played,
But you shut me out,
Do I mean something to you,
Or was I just a stone to step on to cross the river,
So vast and beautiful,
You never saw me,
Did you?
Hey,
Me again,
Did you ever answer my message,
Probably not,
I'm sorry for what I said,
But really I'm just apologizing for you,
And what you did,
You don't realize what you did,
Do you,
Did you?
Hey,
This is the last time you’ll hear from me,
Just wanted to say,
Didn’t we ever wonder,
Why did that wonder turn to lust,
And why didn’t you care what you said,
Because when you say what you said,
It makes most people believe they are better off dead,
Did you think about what you said,
Did you?
Hey,
It’s me,
I don’t know why I never apologized,
But I’m sorry.
Apologies
If I say I'm sorry
I will get my way
Your thinking to sway
Apology to look good
Narcissism under the hood
For me everyone will root
Apology to provoke guilt
Creates self-doubt to the hilt
Blame to you will shift
Apologies made from half truth
My own feelings to soothe
Everyone thinks I stand on truth
Apologies to put it in the past
Knowing fake peace won't last
Over you a shadow will cast
Apologies made but nothing changes
To break you down in stages
Slowly your mind deranges
Apologies not from the heart
When you never state your part
Will always tear us apart
By Cathrin Stuart
Within the heart lies the capacity
for incredible violence. And none
are so endangered as those who
linger near. The common turn of
phrase is, "the heart is an organ
the size of a fist", so no one can
question the bruises.
You never wanted to hear me out,
neither in the beginning nor in the end
But I stood at your door,
and so you stood your ground
"You never loved me," you mouthed with a stupid face
I apologized to you as many times
as there are stars in the sky,
but the dark clouds obscured your view,
so my love remained hidden in plain sight
even when I was gone you held your flag above our grave
I’m sorry.
That you are suffering.
That you are misunderstood.
That you aren’t shown the love you should.
I’m sorry.
For not noticing.
For not hearing you.
For not seeing your struggle.
I’m sorry
For listening
Only to turn around
And tell someone else.
I’m sorry.
For not being very helpful.
For my selfishness.
For making this about myself.
I’m sorry.
For letting it get this far.
For watching you get worse.
For not reaching out.
But I’m not sorry.
For getting you help.
For slipping your secrets out.
For telling someone who can aid you.
I’m not sorry.
For caring.
For loving.
For being there.
I won’t apologize for that.
I’m sorry for the hurt I held
in tender palms, wrapped tight as night;
for every tear I swallowed down,
believing silence was my light.
I’m sorry for the chaos spun,
the storms I weathered just to breathe;
for every wound I bore alone,
each scar a story left beneath.
But listen now, oh heart of mine—
we’re not mere echoes in the dark;
we’ve turned our fear to flickering fire,
and dared to chase a wilder spark.
No longer just a ghost, unseen,
we’re learning now to feel, to be;
we’re carving out our own safe space—
a world that lets us heal and free.
In every step, in every breath,
we walk beyond mere walls of past;
finding in each quiet dawn
a steady peace, a strength that lasts.
So here’s to us—the bruised, the bold—
for we are neither lost nor small;
we’ve learned to build a life of hope,
a world where we can feel it all.
I apologise
for my sense of humour.
I apologise
for my honesty.
I apologise
for giving my opinion
and wearing my heart on my sleeve.
I apologise
if I offend you.
I apologise
If I'm misunderstood.
I apologise
for not being perfect.
Although I try my best to do good.
Autumn doesn’t ask permission -
just rolls in like it’s got somewhere better to be,
ripping the green from trees
because, let’s be honest,
no one cares about “evergreen.”
The leaves drop like they’re over it,
done with pretending to hold it together -
each one hitting the ground
like a mic drop.
No big deal, just an exit.
And me?
I’m taking notes.
Watching them unravel
without a single apology,
making “falling apart” look like art.
The air’s colder now,
sharp enough to cut through the noise,
smelling like nostalgia and bad decisions.
It’s that perfect blend of mess and clarity,
and I breathe it in like I need it.
The trees are naked,
but somehow they own it -
standing there like they’ve got nothing to hide,
like shedding layers was always the plan.
So, I stand still,
hands stuffed in my pockets,
thinking if the trees can let go
and still look this good doing it,
maybe letting go
is how you finally rise.
For all the times I snapped at you
When I could have spoken more gently,
Or a whisper would have sufficed
To send the message across;
When I grew impatient, and my irritation
Showed through and through;
When I was not careful with words,
Or when I uttered more than necessary;
When my words flew like daggers
Instead of perfuming the air around us--like flowers;
When I was blinded by passion
To correct you, but in doing so
I failed to correct myself--
Forgive me.
October 4, 2024
Baguio City, Philippines
I asked you to love
I assumed you wanted only war
I told you to use goodwill
use sweets and desserts and festivities
shower them with kindness
they will share what they stole
I was naive
I beg of you
forgive me
please forgive me
I have been a fool
love does not kill all enemies
those where my childish thoughts
They burn your villages
rape your woman
torture your brothers
arrest aid workers
snipers shooting for fun
kill your children
sexually abuse
tell lies on top of lies
play the victim
while committing genocide
Who knew
Jimmy Carters wisdom ahead of his time
three hundred and ten billion dollars
can purchase many many lies
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