Poetry Forum

waggishwoman - all messages by user

1/18/2011 4:30:59 PM
Hello to everyone!	I love poetry soup...but I would love it more if anyone participated in the chat room and the calander worked so there are really events on it. Hope I'm not offending the Soup
1/25/2011 10:12:56 AM
The Eternal Chess Game	what a coup a poem that's been written by two. Excellent job. Only thing is watch the pronouns they're usually not needed.
1/25/2011 4:26:53 PM
His Mother! ... Grrrr!	How this: (it's very civil) When you are alone together, just say I'd like to speak with you for a minute. I hope you don't find this offensive but, everytime you bring up (the ex's name) it really hurts my feelings. I feel you're like you really don't want (boyfriends name) and I to be together? Ask it in a question that way she will have to answer it and will know instinctively that you're upset without you becoming angry. How about this???
1/27/2011 9:17:31 AM
AND HE FEEDS HER. please take a look x	This is a breatifully expressed excellent poem! The imagery is luscious and very well crafted it made me ravenous. There are just a few spelling errors I'd recommend fixing: Third line: should be two words "candle lit" table... Fifth line: should be "prized" also on line 13: "crem" should be "creme brulee" This may seem tright but this caliber of writing should be perfect.
1/27/2011 9:22:23 AM
AND HE FEEDS HER. please take a look x	oh...and The title doesn't really need "and" just "He Feeds Her" I would enter this in a contest best wishes Julie
1/30/2011 7:48:26 AM
thank you so much	Welcome to PS. This site is exception and I'm sure some of your poems are too. Writing for ten years is great...I jealous...I've only been at it for about four months and I'm captivated by all the talent. Julie
3/16/2011 9:05:19 PM
The Silence.	Well this is my "High" critique: poetry is more than black or white, good or bad or just the way you put it or make it rhyme...its about art something with many styles good luck exploring your style. Julie
3/19/2011 7:14:53 PM
the definition of innocence....please critique	Hi Jeromy... a narrative of a very depressing view of life certainly there is some balance there??? Sometimes life can be so difficult but I wonder what you poem would be like if you talked equally about what you're grateful for??
3/27/2011 12:55:05 PM
Two Winters of the Snow Fence	Hi dave. I really appreciate you how articulate you are. Amall unkneeded words like: "was this", "whenever," "forever", etc. for example: "Moreover, there was total surrender to this pain"...I would have written it in this way: "and she totally surrendered to the pain" very simple loosing excessive Words don't forget the similies and metaphors..."the pain devoured heras a lion devours a lamb calf... or something like that Good luck...Great start!
4/3/2011 1:20:07 PM
Date at Chipotle	I liked it. very on point. Julie
5/1/2011 12:10:47 PM
The Storm	Kevin Watmough wrote: Visual imagery passes, in translucent azure. A redolent toxin, straight from the waters of this earth. Rhythmic, yet silent, in the burden it bares. For the brilliant flushed blue we see in the air. Soft sculptures engraved for only seconds. Weakening, strengthening, breaking off in sections. Bright twinkling flashes, tearing the sky in two. Crashing melodies through and through. Whistling sporadicly in pitch and tone. Imagery moving to dark sculptured cones. Thrashing, swirling, grasping the land. Mother nature held us in her destructive hand.
5/15/2011 2:15:35 PM
so sleepy	Hello there...I am with you on the "chat room" I've tried a few times to bring some life into the thing
5/22/2011 12:16:10 PM
Have fun and keep PoetrySoup a haven.	I know that many poets use poetry for an outlet of depression or anger. Poetry is a very healing response.
5/30/2011 9:57:25 PM
We're All to Blame	Since "we are all to blame" go one further and tell us what we can do about it. See my memorial page on Face Book. Your poem is very nicely done. Good luck julie
6/26/2013 9:32:58 AM
Please critique	You're off to a good start two words "first summer's", The sun "awoke" but yesterday it was weak. it flickers=two words always cast=two words a spring in your step = two words radiates here=two words so albeit=two words amongst=among There's a few spelling corrections, good luck. SecretPoet wrote: This ‘mourning’ was the firstsummer’s day, The sun awoken - awakened, butunlike yesterday it’s weakened, Its glow usually vivid but now itflickers and mercifully fades. Albeit the season whereby the sunrises and ever lasts, even in late evening whereby the sun’s shadow is alwayscast. Today is summer, but today is very different to those of summers past. Unable to wake, unable to rise -not a cloud to be seen, just a vacant sky. There will be no more autumns, nor aspring in your step - and you have experienced your last winter of discontent,season of regret. The light of your sun radiateshere on earth no more, but lest we not forget, the sun is one of many stars, soalbeit one now rests in darkness, one rests amongst many stars.
2/12/2014 12:00:35 PM
Some lotus	I tried reading your poem but the run-on sentences gave me little to understand. I admire your creative intent, but try something other than run-on words and sentences. Good luck.
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