The hopes and dreams of a chronic insomniac
Blog Posted by
Kelly Crenshaw: 8/2/2016 7:54:00 AM
Insomnia light. Almost dozed off.
You ever been in that almost asleep state of consciousness? And then go into a dream about sumo wrestling? Nightmare of a fat guy in a diaper chasing you. With a kazoo? Singing the song lollipop guild from wizard of oz? With a Hannibal Lecter mask on? Trying to put salt on you. And you try to run away only to find out that you are handcuffed to the Ferris wheel by your bed. You look up and there's a kid at the top right over your head about to throw up but you can't get away? Then Mrs Flippen from junior high is yelling at you and throwing erasers at you from the hallway and they're turning into bat like birds spitting little dart seeds at you as they fly by? Then you notice Mrs Flippen is in the same diaper as the sumo guy. You suddenly hear the police outside your window saying "Release the hostages alive and we will let you drink the milk."
And you realize you've eaten two of the hostages already, but can't remember which two. So you ask to talk to H F Fenton (sheriff) to see if he will let you borrow the X-ray machine again, so you can see who got eaten. But you promise not to break it this time. He knows you're lying. Suddenly sumo dude is yelling for help telling the cops you won't let him have any pudding until he eats his meat. He's crying now and has Mrs Flippen's face. Apparently she is morphing into a bald sumo wrestler. Gilligan and Skipper walk by and throw Mrs Howell out to the police like a sacrifice into the volcano. It seems to pacify them. You eat your salad and think it's cool because it has a face and is going baa baa like a sheep. Sumo dude grabs you and you look up as sick kid unleashed at you from the Ferris wheel. Which was a great place to wake up.
I think I'll stay up for a while now. Ya know? Let the kid get it out of his system and get off the Ferris wheel before I go back to sleep.