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Kelly Crenshaw
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Cranturkey

Blog Posted by Kelly Crenshaw: 4/13/2017 1:45:00 AM

Laying here yielding submission to my old friend insomnia.
And I can't help thinking about cranberries and turkeys and their market strategies. They've both infiltrated all their competitors. Yet never crossed the line with each other? I wonder why. Cranapple, crangrape. Turkey bologna. Turkey ham. Turkey bacon. Why can't these two just be themselves? It's sad really. Maybe Dr Phil could help. Maybe Tony Robbins? Then I wonder. Why no cran flavored lysterine? Or turkey flavored cherries?
Cranturkey. Yep. I just invented it. I'll call it; Low cholesterol non habit forming sugar free non dairy all natural pre shrunk factory tested low carb non gluten pre cooked free range non steroidal alcohol free low enzyme non gmo user friendly no added preservatives computer generated free trade French roasted I can't believe it's not butter self pollinating please consult a physician for turkeys lasting over four hours cranturkey.
Hmm great invention, but maybe I should shorten the name?



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Vinson Avatar
Doug
Vinson
Date: 4/13/2017 7:35:00 PM
I think Dr. Oz should make it a three-way, trying to straighten out Tony Robbins and Dr. Phil. My best guess is that Tony beats the other two's butts (good riddance, especially to Dr. Oz), and so he wins the car. But when he starts it up, it explodes.
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White Avatar
Darren
White
Date: 4/13/2017 10:55:00 AM
This is a real insomnia blog, and I feel for you, and for the turkey, it's becoming a real cranky turkey! I hope that by the time I wrote this, you were finally able to sleep :) You take care now!
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