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Kelly Crenshaw
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Late night ramblings from a wide awake insomniac

Blog Posted by Kelly Crenshaw: 9/28/2016 12:58:00 AM

Late night ramblings from a wide awake insomniac.
.
I remember when I thought monsters only lived under the bed. Or in the closet.
I remember; the first time when in the midst of a childhood nightmare I realized that I was dreaming. 
  "If I could only wake up"
And even tho it dawned on me that the monsters were not real, and that they could not hurt me, I was still nonetheless terrified.
  "If I could only wake up."
I remember. Being a child and wondering what Vietnam was, or where. Wondering if my older teenage brother was having fun there. Getting letters from him telling me he was gonna buy me an ice cream when he got home. He came home. I never got the ice cream. I think that ice cream buying part of him never came back.
I remember; thinking adults were all good and could be trusted. I remember. 
Watching my friend's step daddy punch his momma in the face.
  "If I could only wake up."
I remember; trusting. Preachers, politicians, plumbers, and policemen. Then I remember someone telling me never to trust a human who's profession started with a P, because they all turned into prostitutes when the lights went out. I didn't, and sure enough, many of them did.
  "If I could only wake up."
I remember: 
watching my mother sob when Bobby Kennedy got shot. And wondering why this man named Martin was killed. I remember hearing about someone named Charlie Manson and his family. Learning what impeachment meant in school.
Watergate. 
"If I could only wake up." 
Monsters.
I remember. Slowly and very gradually learning not to trust.
Learning that monsters were real but seldom hid under the bed.
Alcohol. Meth. Greed. Ego. Blood thirst. Fanatic. 
   "If I could only wake up."
I remember.
Learning about;
Jim Jones, Jeffrey Dahmer. Ed Gein. Mark David Chapman. Lee Harvey Oswald. David Koresh. Osama Ben Laden. The zodiac killer. Ted Bundy. Westboro baptist. Monsters.
   "If I could only wake up."
9/11
9/11
9/11
Islam. Taliban. Isis. Al Qaeda. Muslim brotherhood. KKK. Black panthers. Aryan nation. 
Monsters.
  "If I could only wake up."
The monsters are real, but they're not under the bed. They're in Washington, D. C. On Wall Street. Leading  pharmaceutical companies, oil companies, as well as universities. Sometimes even churches. Sadly.
Yep, the monsters are real. 
They all want your vote. 
And I'm afraid I'm wide awake. 
Back to the line in the song I quoted the other day.
"Wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then."
Yessir, the monsters are real, and they want your vote. And your lunch money. And they all hate each other.
And I'm afraid I'm wide awake.



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Date: 9/29/2016 3:41:00 PM
Keith & Ruben: I went back to school again, part of a multi-step plan I have that stretches over years. It is a real PITA, but worth it. My contests will come back, probably in December. This current term is the hardest, the final term next year should be much easier. Ruben, I have missed our chatting as well, one needs the sour to fully appreciate the sweet. Tommy, I prefer the name Azazel, but we both know it is already taken.
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Date: 9/28/2016 3:14:00 PM
Kelly, I liked how you used the ice cream, like letters from a ghost.
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Date: 9/28/2016 12:12:00 PM
So very true, Kelly. I never saw so many americans confused who to vote for!
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Date: 9/28/2016 12:05:00 PM
Wow, this is amazing Kelly- really good stuff...thanks for sharing lovely lady :)-luloo
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Kelly Crenshaw
Date: 9/28/2016 12:59:00 PM
Thank you. I think. Lol. I've been called a lot of things in my life, but never lovely lady before. Ha ha. ??
Date: 9/28/2016 10:27:00 AM
You've expressed this well... Choking back tears here.
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Date: 9/28/2016 10:24:00 AM
Wow! I think you covered just about all monsters. A thought provoking and well expressed blog, Kelly. Sometimes I wish I could wake up from the nightmare of this world's evil. Love, Kim
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Date: 9/28/2016 10:11:00 AM
I'll second Ruben's love it!! Excellent write, Kelly. Real-life monsters are the worst. ;-)
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Date: 9/28/2016 2:50:00 AM
Many echos of my own childhood only my Dad, not big brother in Nam. You hit growing / feeling highlights with this. CayCay
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Date: 9/28/2016 1:21:00 AM
They do you have sanders in america we have corbyn in the uk not many more
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