Im sorry
I know im a pain but im trying to change
Trying to become what you want
Trying to throw myself away to be what you please
Then when you're done you throw me away and get a new toy
But im always waiting
Waiting for the say you come back and say
“I love you”
Waiting to feel you in my arms
Waiting to feel loved
waiting
Waiting
waiting
When I say, “I have a mountain,”
You ask, “Where do you want it moved?”
When I have a dream,
You ask, “How can I make it come true?”
When I say, “I’m scared,”
You ask, “How can I make it safer?”
When I have a plan,
You have the pen and paper.
You support every thought in my mind.
I say, “Let’s go, let’s jump.”
You don’t say, “Where?”
You say, “How high?”
You let me go off and explore,
And say, “I’ll leave the light on the porch.”
At chess, even trying to let me win,
When I lose, you still let me flip the board.
You’re not my ride or die,
You’re my anchor, my wall, always by my side.
You believe in me when no one does.
You find seeds in me when I thought I was dried up.
You are not my other half; you are my whole.
You complete me like a puzzle.
You’re the sun, and you warm my soul.
"You know I can be found"
Without you, everything is gray and scarce
"Don't be cruel to a heart that's true"
My loss is quiet in the dusk
"If you can't come around,
at least please telephone"
Words can't describe how much I adore you
"Don't be cruel to a heart that's true"
"Let's walk up to the preacher
and let us say I do"
it will gain me feel whole and complete
Do I sound crazy? I probably do
Mon amour, I'm moved to tears
"I really love you baby, cross my heart"
The heat has gone the sun slowed down
And its rays went out of town,
It just left us in the cold
In our shivers growing mould,
Need replacement for the heat
Back again that feeling sweet,
To feel the heat right on the cheek
So much good for the physique,
A replacement I must find
One that’s sweet a one that’s kind,
Perhaps an image does the trick
And watch your wares with every click,
That would surely warm my heart
As it was right from the start,
Cause when I first laid eyes on you
Felt all the veins burning right through.
Can you still
feel our beginning?
how overwhelmingly
amazing I made you feel?
how just thinking
of me made your
heartbeat so fast,
sending that heat throughout your veins?
how it felt like there was a magnet
that pulled us to one another
and how it felt so incredibly surreal?
can you feel how you craved me
and how my soft lips
felt pressed against yours
and how it seemed like we had
already belonged to one another
an eternity of forgotten days?
can you still feel
how those
butterflies felt
when I'd pull up
in my car?
Or how badly you'd
need me next to you
when we were far
apart?
Can you feel
how when we kissed
it felt like fire
burning throughout your soul
and how you had told me
that I was the first and only
woman that made you feel whole?
do I consume your thoughts
while you're awake & in your dreams?
are you still so positive
that you and i were meant to be?
can you still hear that voice in your head
that told you I was the one
the very moment you laid eyes on me—
because I am still trapped inside the smoke.
Tonight I dreamed of you.
Yet you were nowhere to be found
Where once you lived.
Is this the asylum whispering in my ear,
voices of my past want to come back to wash me,
childhood traumas and war genocide, doing its job
i was carved long ago, by the belt of my father
many shapes and many depths,
i can still feel ringing in my ears,
from that heavy hand and a wooden spoon,
my mothers voice, than my fathers,
i took this shape and it was unfamiliar,
how did i get here, am i just a piece of clay,
and who is next, to change who i am
i threw bread into my mothers face today,
i was hungry i just wanted to eat,
father is gone by now probably just a skull,
leftover from a man who raised me,
we were never the same after he was gone
my hunger turned into killer, my killer,
all i wanted was to eat today, mother
but she wouldn't stop repeating These words
" I SHOULD HAVE KILLED YOU WHEN YOU WERE BORN"!!
You are a mystery my best friend.
I am most happy when you message me.
Best days are when we get to talk.
worst days are when you are distant.
I love you so much my Eve my Kami My Anastasia you are my everything.
So far each day I pray you are cared for by Jesus that he looks after you.
When I dream about Jesus he is my best friend and he created her and me.
Jesus thank you for creating Her my dream person.
you Eve are the Light in my darkness the truth to my happiest moments.
Every time I think of Eve, Kami, Ana I think of Love she is Love itself.
My dearest friend I only pray for her to Trust in Jesus and pray to him for Our Love to win.
I love you dear Eve my first friend I ever made on my own and my best friend from forever.
I will always love you dear Kami forever.
Father
You are always going
To be number 1
In my live
Also father I need you
Badly in my life
That is the whole truth
That is coming out
Of my mouth
Father don't bother calling me
A liar because that is not me
I am afraid that you are forgetting
Give a cow enough grass,
never exceed it no matter what,
or it will shamelessly ask for more.
Once the fat keeps them away from the cold,
Grinding further, their teeth become boulders,
until the verdant is nowhere to be seen.
A mere flower evades from the sight of gardeners,
too afraid to smell its own scent.
A heel crushing the soil,
stepping a life in thought it was never created
Lord, tears fall at night so silently;
people don't notice.
In the pitch-dark hours, no one can see
puffy, red faces in broken homes
or with broken lives,
where there is no peace.
They cry and cry till sunup,
and some fall asleep,
with no appetite to eat,
for their souls are hungry for peace.
They sing,
"Who really loves me?
Who can save me
from these thoughts that torment me?"
They all judge them, Lord—
their friends and family.
They have all turned
their backs on them.
But Lord, You see.
And You are faithful,
for You never sleep.
Show them Your never-ending love,
the power of a King clothed in majesty,
with a crown of thorns
and holes in His arms and feet.
You think you see me,
but you don't.
You see the mask I put on,
but not me,
not the real me.
You say I don't wear a mask,
that you would know if I did,
but you don't know me!
You don't see me!
And how I struggle in the world,
in conversations,
in gestures.
You don't see me,
pretend to be someone I am not.
You don't see me,
imitate your language,
your faces
your interactions,
your signals,
your cues,
your words!
You don't see me!
A smug smile after being embraced,
Silence takes over,
filling up the air with grace.
Many talks we share that make my heart ache.
Where has the time gone?
Reflection shows my futures and how they are scarce.
Bone structure with definition
Yet, you’re not here to make an impression.
Wonders and worries,
Accepting what has come.
Is this the end for us?
Dear Emir..I extoll your Nation ( no fear.!) In the delicate way, your judicial system of today, took a measured view, of Dr Barbara O'neils situation' my most proffuse thanks go before you.' May God be your guide.' May your kingdom, easily glide' on lasting heavenly tides, let not the sun burn it by day, and a kind moon ever light its way
You have taken the place of great protector' our
Own countrys leaders, of currently evil affection, should learn from your election
With all my heart, i thank you' that our Dr
Barbara is safe! With still much 'good on
this world' to grace.!
Sometimes I fear
I’ve never known you -
like a leaf might think
it knows its mother tree
from spring
to summer
to fall—
ing
into winter’s
cold, hard ground,
severed from the branches
that once nourished it.
Caught in a season
where familiarity
finds itself face to face
with formality,
and transition
resembles exile.
Maybe one day what is left of me
will sink deep enough
to find something I could never see
from the branches -
where darkness can decipher
whether I never knew you,
or whether knowing you
was never supposed to mean
I wouldn’t fall.
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