Whatchamacallit Poems | Examples

In Praise of the Euphemism

Of that body part men activate
to urinate or procreate –
as the case or need may be –
it’s clinical terminology
is still considered by many
as off limits in polite society
whereas its vulgar substitutes
still more than ever constitute 
the norm, though by the puritanical
are condemned as inexcusable.
And, therefore, to circumvent
their use and avoid embarrassment
they’ve been discreetly sanitized
and inoffensively euphemized
or camouflaged, whichever term
will spare you to least squirm –
like peepee, whatchamacallit,
skin faucet, little man, or whatsit.
Whereas using even the proper
or vulgar words will cause a shudder
leading to outbreaks of friction
by those who abhor such diction.
Even a French menu word like “coq”
(rooster, as in “coq au vin”) will shock,
and unless it’s correctly vocalized,
please leave that one unanglicized!

Aliens Confused by English Gibberish

What is that gizmo on your head?
Little doodad his son quickly said
Is it a whatchamacallit or a rinky dink?
Whatever you want Daddy, whatever you think.

The pool-side aliens who had been listening were trying to decipher
Words that made no sense, like vacuum, dust, and diaper
Gizmo? Doodad? Rinky Dink?
Do we have the right planet, do you think?
Let’s find an easier language to study,
said the Captain Little Buddy.

Election Selection Misdirection

    Hold your nose and cast your ballot

        ~ for, uh, whatchamacallit

The Jimply

"Walk!", cried the jimply from his perch
above the fruited plain.
With fiery lanterns they did search
o'er the vast terrain.

They trudged all day and trudged all night
until each got a small blister.
Oh, how I recoil at their woeful plight - 
I'll tell you that much mister.

The jimply's demand was nothing short of 
"Find my whatchamacallit!",
though most secretly prayed to the lord above
that they would find his wallet.

They slogged till the eyes in their heads
turned from green to red,
bleeding like cats and dogs they did,
like streams of fish, they bled.

'Til the smallest said aloud, "oh great jimply of renown,
you strike me as absurd.
You are not an adverb, nor are you no noun.
I don't think you are a word."

An Interior Mechanism

"If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe," ... Carl Sagan

Subtle crafts soundly, using euphemisms,
yet cluelessness dealt a sheltered abyss.
When one confront internal mechanisms,
whatchamacallit ... orphaned hit-or-miss.

A conundrum conspires an endowed soul,
behooves postmortem liken achievement.
Where'er wits helix baptism, buried hole,
an urchin crawlspace, be I foundling sent.

Newborn bid birthright a pardoned envoy,
of mature absence deemed as uncharted.
Internals blueprint designed, bad employ,
indeed, tunnels end--will be lights outed.

Rare conscientiousness temper unknown,
infiltrate hallmark translates as dethrone.

Whatchamacallit

A total whatchamacallit,
That absolute kinda deal;
We'll never know what it looks like,
Nor how it might taste or feel.
But we'll always recognize it
The minute it's not in sight.
And if you say you're skeptical,
A brouhaha you'll ignite.

My Mind Plays Games

thingamabob
unreal, unknown
maddening, bewildering, puzzling
doohickey, widget ~ gizmo, contraption
entertaining, guessing, laughing
funny, not funny
whatchamacallit


August 15, 2022

Our New Dog

You love your purebred. I'll love my 
Whatachamacallit.
I wonder how he came to be at our back door?
I must admit
He is exquisite
For something I've never seen before.
You love your purebred. I'll love my
Whatachamacallit.
Darling he's a misfit that will fit
Right in with our children playing under 
The sycamore.
I must admit
He's becoming my favorite.
God sent me something I can't ignore.
You love your purebred. I'll love my
Whatachamacallit.
Look love he has personality and wit
He brought my sleepers to me that were 
Over there on the floor.
I must admit
Honey, this is going to be definite
He will live here forevermore.
You love your purebred. I'll love my
Whatchamacallit.
Now our family's complete I must admit.

A Candy Wrapper Story

We were a group of Nerds, there was Kit Kat,
Mike and Ike, I'll never forget handsome Heath ;
           and Slo Poke and I was Lemonhead cause I had,
blonde hair, and there was Whatchamacallit who always;
                       had Goobers.

     One Pay Day we won 100 Grand gambling,
at a casino machine called, Milky Way and went on a Spree;
          it was a Marathon and we were spending Mounds,
of Skittles until I said, Take 5 before we have;
                        like Zero. 

     So me and those Airheads each took our own paths,
for me it was a Rocky Road to happiness until Henry;
           O Henry is my Starburst and dream,
he loves me Now and Later and not just because of the;
                        big money Skor.
                       

_______________________________
October 5, 2018


Poetry/Verse/A Candy Wrapper Story
Copyright Protected, ID 18-1069-313-01
All Rights Reserved.  Written under Pseudonym.

How Sweet It Is

How sweet it is

Please Take 5 minutes of your time to read my poem
This sweet adventure actually won't take that long

Step inside my imagination 
Mr.Good Bar gave us a 100 Grand
50 thousand for you and 50 thousand for me
Lets go spend this cash with obligation 

We can go anywhere on this planet 
or travel back in time to buy a Whatchamacallit

But here in present time I've invested in a corner market
Selling warm Boston Baked Beans, homemade Hot Tamales and fresh Swedish Fish
The community is burning a hole in their pocket

I'm buying an expensive fur coat
Then a catwalk down 5th Avenue
And act like life isn't a Rocky Road

You know what forget the money 
I'd rather float in the Galaxy
and watch a Starburst
in Zero gravity

Sponsor: Carol Connell
Contest name: How sweet it is
Date: October 4, 2018

How Sweet It Is

Finally it was PAY DAY,
and I felt like a 100 GRAND.
Even though you don't make MOUNDS of money,
selling HOT TAMALES from a stand.
I headed to the JOLLY RANCHER,
over on 5TH AVENUE and DOVE.
To grab some beers with MIKE AND IKE,
a couple of GOOBERS, whose company I love.
We may not be a bunch of SMARTIES,
but AIRHEADS we are not.
We know all about sports and WHATCHAMACALLIT,
just ask HEATH the bartender, he quizzes us a lot.       
The THREE MUSKETEERS is what they call us,
we are the best of friends, BAR NONE.
The stories we tell are WHOPPERS,
they may hold ZERO truth, but still a lot of fun.




 9/24/2018

How Sweet It Is

O' HENRY'S my name and me and my dog CHUNKY, the SLO POKE dog, wanted to go on a shopping spree on 5th AVENUE since it was PAYDAY. It was a nice ride and the scenery was beautiful, especially the SNOW CAPS in the distance. 

However, our trip was cut short when we broke the WHATCHAMACALLIT on the car when we hit a patch of ROCKY ROAD. BAR NONE, that was the worst road I have ever driven.

We were broke down on a remote country road and we could see ZERO help in any direction. I was worried that we were stranded but just then a JOLLY RANCHER with his two NERD sons, MIKE and IKE, pulled up and asked if they could help.

I explained our dilemma and I heard Mike and Ike SNICKER and say we were AIR HEADS with BUTTERFINGERS. They towed us to a garage and the repair estimate was 100 GRAND, after all we were driving a Lamborghini. The mechanic fixed the car and I promised I would pay NOW AND LATER.

That didn't go over so well and the sheriff has me serving HOT TAMALES and BOSTON BAKED BEANS in the county jail. The moral of this story is don't be a SMARTIE and tell a bunch of WHOPPERS.

How sweet it is poetry contest
Sponsored by: Carol Connell

Whatchamacallit

Flabbergasted at my findings
Drooling slightly over luck
Hard to explain how my life has changed
Now the proud owner of a Whatchamacallit 

It came with all the accessories 
All the whistles plus the bells
Lucky I grabbed it when I did
You know how fast those things fly off the shelf

Double wrapped in heavy plastic 
Sealed up tight for safeties sake
To keep from the hands of those not in the know
Plus less chance of escape

Though Whatchamacallit's aren't dangerous
They are mischievous all the same
Far be it for me to set mine free
And be the one to blame

So I keep it on a leash
Everytime that I go out
Even put it in my pocket
If I'm roaming a big crowd

But believe you me if it's me you see
Out someday on the street
I have my Whatchamacallit 
Somewhere close to me


I'd like to thank cheryl hoffman for the idea of this fiasco!

What You Will See

I don't know what I want to write
But I will write about see if you call it
Do you believe you will see if you call it?
You bet
If you don't believe you will see
You won't see it
Sometimes a thing is just so hard to believe
And that is when you need God's help
God sometimes can intervene in our beliefs
He is not going to leave you - cut and dry
Only humans will do it - some humans
And sometimes human would sometimes do things
God would never do
But that is another subject
Would you do what God do?
No
Then there
Don't try to guess what God is going to do
You would mess up
Because you can never do what God wants to do
He do the unhuman thing - the unbelievable
Unacceptable, incredible
Only He would know
So what is our job?
To do what we think
When God wants you to do something
He will let you know
Otherwise it's a slow ride - easy ride
Comsi comsa
Easy come easy go
Whatchamacallit 
What's that?
Don't know
But it will come to me
On the go again.....

In a State of Chill

in a state of chill
i am lost in a world long lost
revisiting here for a few days is like my heart skipping rocks in a hot tub
my mind is in a sauna of contentment
my soul is on a wraparound deck overlooking lake whatchamacallit
chocolate covered paradise
vanilla based effervescence
the cherry on top is the peaceful breeze doctoring my tested sanity
my body temperature is back to balanced
in a state of chill

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