Funny Warning Poems

A big turd's journey nears it's end.
On the sheets it shalt not descend.

Now heed the warning I have said.
Please do not poop on the bed.

I...

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A lady I knew called Griselda
Collected shoes just like Imelda*
But she’d such cheesy feet
When she walked down the street
Folk secretly called her Ismelldya!

*Imelda Marcos owned...

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Do not give me the eyeball
You crazy greasy fur ball
Unless you want some mean back
Or a giant face-head whack.
 
For I am not afraid of...

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I never knew a love before


Of you my proudest moments stand
For only I can see
This life was once a jumbled mess
Much more than it should...

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Beware of wishing for money here,
the last person that tried and leaned in
to make change and also a wish,
fell to his death to the bottom...

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Parking space reserved only 
for church members.
If you are into business not 
church related, park at your
own peril;
God forgives, but Kowalski
and Sons Towing Services 
do...

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My sins are of my own doing
Skeletons of my own choosing
None worse than forgiving
I shouldve known better
I know how you are
Right down to the letter
Cowardice...

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I said I am going to get back at you
So here it is
Why do you think women call the shot?
Because if we wait for you
Things...

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at doctor's office
Virgin magazine waits
to be fingered


12/1/11...

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Warning: Video Surveillance in Use

By Elton Camp

Those fuzzy, unfocused videos of crime
To identify robbers aren’t worth a dime

Their low quality images are the excuse
Why, to...

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There's a potential fine line 
between SAFETY AND DANGER...
go to the beach to swim safely,
never stray too far from the lifeguards. 


There's a conflicting fine...

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Joe Gets a Warning

By Elton Camp

To young Joe the preacher did tell,
“You little worm, you deserve hell.
You missed church for a ball game
And that’s just...

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“Oh Prisoner,”
Warned the architect,
“I mean no disrespect. 
But you can’t climb out of jail;
These walls aren’t built to scale.”...

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There once was this lady I was desiring
Upon meeting she became so damn tiring
She kept me up all night
And fatigued I took fright
I hope that...

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It’s funny now
To know the truth
That all you care about is you
Your squinty eyes and sneaky smile
You had a plan all the while

Pretend to care...

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