ah-choo
I take a Benadryl
could use a pick me up
take a caffeine pill
uh-oh
acid reflux
because I ate those jalapeno peppers
I cannot sleep now
take a Tums because I could not find the Pepto Bismal
and down a Tylenol PM
I am no longer living any semblance of a natural schedule
living my life dictated by over-the-counter medications
Pepto Bismol and tums
taken by the handful now
broken teeth and sadder gums
we got old and wondered how
Politicians are paid as a last resort
to attend the summit accomplishing nought
but flap their lips expose their gums
feed their face and fill their tums
all the hot air they expend
I don't exaggerate
discussing climate change in the end
will only exacerbate
the ongoing problem long-since forming
a future foreboding of global warming
for every page and pamphlet printed
put in the post or stuck on walls
about ecology and saving the woods
it seems to me yet another tree in the forest falls
and I believe for every drop of acid rain
a flower dies
somewhere under the darkest skies
a new-born baby cries
With apologies to; Ervin Drake, Irvin Graham, Jimmy Shirl & Al Stillman
As I fondled my plunder
A wind from down under
Got caught on the breeze
It wafted and floated
But still I felt bloated
And dropped to my knees
As it tore me asunder
I recalled days of thunder
What'd help to appease
My stomach just rumbled
In agony mumbled
Some TUMS if you please
Took more than two rolls
Prayers read from dead scrolls
To cure this disease
But then belly now loaded
The wind then exploded...
And blew bark off the trees
I love refried beans
Jalapeno peppers too
I chop them up and eat them in a bowl of sour cream
All day, all night, and on weekends
But then I get old
My throat betrays me
My stomach goes amuck
I get acid reflux when I eat this
Luckily, I have six huge bottles of Tums
I've always lived in Southern California.
I've never heard of summer rain.
This notion, I have to say, quite honestly,
Strikes me as insane.
I might as well speak of fluffy penguins
Who live in the Sahara,
Or opine on the wit and wisdom of pigs
Who wear lipstick and mascara.
Or interview an illustrious duck
Who opens his bill to sing,
"Won't You Come Home Bill Bailey", and then
Composes "The Rite of Spring."
I may just as well play mumblety-peg
With a hamster wearing braces,
Or play high-stakes poker with a wily fox
Who deals me eights and aces.
Or dine on blue marbles and split-pea soup
With a seasoning of Tums,
Or perform "Swan Lake' or "Claire de Lune"
On just harmonica and drums.
And now I'll slide comfortably into my fridge,
All wrapped in cellophane,
And say from the top shelf, "that's about all
I know about summer rain."
It's where we found our thrill
up there on Whimberry Hill
though I complained
that it might rain
and said there was a chill
You said that it was fine
the sun would surely shine
wind in your hair
but you didn't care
the only clouds were mine
We sat to admire the view
holding hands stained berry blue
though tums grumbled
for fruit crumble
saucer pie later would do
Walking back late afternoon
summer had ended too soon
grass in your hair
you didn't care
singing to your own tune.
Please stop the pain, the drain of the pain, infiltrating my life, my mind
Temporary relief in a bottle, not good for my stomach PPI's and Tums don't do it
Take it away, let me enjoy the day, my time, my life
lunch not made by mom
grannies quick-fix needed tums~~
poo berries unjam
Evening is settling in.
I empty my basket at the counter.
A pint of vodka
(the kind that comes in plastic bottles),
a bottle of ’Tums’ antacids.
A box of frozen French Bread Pizza.
A jar of jalapeno peppers.
A world-weary Latino lady
checks the items,
then checks me over coolly.
Her look suggests that she knows,
has seen it all before,
probably guessing my wife is away.
“Did you find everything you need?"
“Yes Rosina.” I say reading her name tag.
Now she smiles!
I pick up my plastic bag,
as I leave I hear her call-out sardonically:
"Have a good one."
at last!
the first hot days are here
blue skies and warm breezes
vivid green lush grass
birds are noisily nesting
skinks zip over the rocks
shiny summer coats appear on the cows
sooky calves race about with round tums
down in the bush
fresh leaves brighten the totara trees
a tea tree flowers profusely
smothered with bees
up in the garden
veggies put on a happy spurt
poppy petals ripple
beans wind upward
after a cold winter and changeable spring
we all relax
awakening again in the warmth
abundance
optimism
early summer in November
4 November 2022
November Poetry Contest
Sponsor Regina McIntosh
Hurgle-y, Gurgle-y
Gastrointestinal
Silly sounds stomachs make:
Borborgymi!
Reflux and GERD both see
Hyperacidity,
Heartburn and stomach aches:
More Tums for me!
—————
Note to self: Double Dactyl, somewhat akin to a limerick… A dactyl is a three syllable word with the emphasis on the first syllable.
This one opens with a nonsense double dactyl, then must use a 6 syllable word on line 2, then another double dactyl, closing out with a dactyl + 1.
A second stanza has the same format. The two stanzas are to be related, and their 4th lines should rhyme.
I'm a little unclear on the naming convention, so I phrased it as something that could be answered by reading the two stanzas
So that’s my first effort, not terribly sure if it was successful...
Boe the Eskimo
There is a little Eskimo named Boe
He loves to play on the ice and the snow
One day as he played on the ice, it cracked
Boe, in shock knew the odds against him were stacked.
Along came a kindly turtle called Jack
He said "I'll show the way, climb on my back"
So Boe jumped on board and off the two zoomed
What adventures they had as their friendship bloomed.
Boe saw sea creatures he'd not seen before
Marine plants aglow on the ocean floor
They danced with dolphins who move gracefully
Twisting and turning to sounds of the sea.
Then they spied large sharks coming at full speed
Both of them were awfully scared indeed
Their two hearts beating alike frenzied drums
Afraid of finishing up in sharks tums.
Suddenly Boe awoke from a dream
Ma and pa rushed in when they'd heard Boe scream
Boe said from now he'd do as he was told
When out playing on ice, he'd not be so bold.
10th April 2021
Nursery Rhyme 4 Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Eve Roper
There's a burning flame within me that I've got.
It's quite a sensation that's feels so hot.
There's nothing wrong here; it feels quite right.
It wasn't caused by the enchiladas I ate tonight.
Yes, it feels so good to me without a doubt.
I don't want Pepto Bismol or Tums to put it out.
These flames seem to be going higher and higher.
Altogether, I will tell you it's a different kind of fire.
A passing woman ignited it with all her charms.
I'm not the kind of man who will call in false alarms.
balloons! balloons! balloons in colours fly,
white Christmas, glittering snow, bring delight!
soul is singing, heart is bright, hope is high!
Sun peeps orange, peering through, clear blue sky,
lighting up, golden tinsels, floating bright,
balloons! balloons! balloons in colours fly!
cakes, bakes, roasting turkey with sizzling fry,
eager children, rumbling tums, seek a bite,
soul is singing, heart is bright, hope is high!
little twigs, set alight, make fireplace sigh!
crystal balls, Christmas tree, stream rays of light,
balloons, balloons, balloons in colours fly!
red and white, bottles of wine, jingle dry,
table laid, party set, to go all night!
soul is singing, heart is bright, hope is high!
spread your arms, keep the distance, please do try!
wear your masks, wash your hands, those rules are tight!
balloons, balloons. balloons in colours fly!
soul is singing, heart is bright, hope is high!
1st placement
Deck the hall poetry contest
Written 16/12/2020
Joseph May sponsored
aba, aba, aba, aba, aba, abaa 19 lines
10 syllables each line!
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