Tums Poems | Examples

Thunder Mountain

As I fondled my plunder
A wind from down under 
Got caught on the breeze

It wafted and floated
But still I felt bloated
And dropped to my knees 

As it tore me asunder
I recalled days of thunder
What'd help to appease

My stomach just rumbled
In agony mumbled
Some TUMS if you please 

Took more than two rolls
Prayers read from dead scrolls
To cure this disease 

But then belly now loaded
The wind then exploded...
And blew bark off the trees

I Love Refried Beans

I love refried beans
Jalapeno peppers too
I chop them up and eat them in a bowl of sour cream
All day, all night, and on weekends

But then I get old
My throat betrays me
My stomach goes amuck
I get acid reflux when I eat this
Luckily, I have six huge bottles of Tums

Raining in Summer

I've always lived in Southern California.
I've never heard of summer rain.
This notion, I have to say, quite honestly,
Strikes me as insane.   

I might as well speak of fluffy penguins
Who live in the Sahara,
Or opine on the wit and wisdom of pigs
Who wear lipstick and mascara. 

Or interview an illustrious duck
Who opens his bill to sing,
"Won't You Come Home Bill Bailey", and then
Composes "The Rite of Spring."

I may just as well play mumblety-peg
With a hamster wearing braces,
Or play high-stakes poker with a wily fox
Who deals me eights and aces.

Or dine on blue marbles and split-pea soup
With a seasoning of Tums,
Or perform "Swan Lake' or "Claire de Lune"
On just harmonica and drums.

And now I'll slide comfortably into my fridge,
All wrapped in cellophane,
And say from the top shelf, "that's about all
I know about summer rain."

On Whimberry Hill

It's where we found our thrill
up there on Whimberry Hill
though I complained
that it might rain
and said there was a chill

You said that it was fine
the sun would surely shine
wind in your hair
but you didn't care
the only clouds were mine

We sat to admire the view
holding hands stained berry blue
though tums grumbled
for fruit crumble
saucer pie later would do

Walking back late afternoon
summer had ended too soon
grass in your hair
you didn't care
singing to your own tune.

Pain

Please stop the pain, the drain of the pain, infiltrating my life, my mind

Temporary relief in a bottle, not good for my stomach PPI's and Tums don't do it

Take it away, let me enjoy the day, my time, my life

Poo Did It

lunch not made by mom
grannies quick-fix needed tums~~
poo berries unjam

Bodega Talk

Evening is settling in.
I empty my basket at the counter.

A pint of vodka
(the kind that comes in plastic bottles),
a bottle of ’Tums’ antacids.
A box of frozen French Bread Pizza.
A jar of jalapeno peppers.

A world-weary Latino lady
checks the items,
then checks me over coolly.

Her look suggests that she knows,
has seen it all before,
probably guessing my wife is away.

“Did you find everything you need?"

“Yes Rosina.” I say reading her name tag.

Now she smiles!

I pick up my plastic bag,
as I leave I hear her call-out sardonically:

"Have a good one."

November

at last! 
the first hot days are here 
   blue skies and warm breezes 
       vivid green lush grass 

birds are noisily nesting 
  skinks zip over the rocks 
    shiny summer coats appear on the cows 
     sooky calves race about with round tums 
   
down in the bush
   fresh leaves brighten the totara trees 
        a tea tree flowers profusely 
            smothered with bees 

up in the garden 
    veggies put on a happy spurt
        poppy petals ripple 
           beans wind upward 

after a cold winter and changeable spring 
    we all relax
       awakening again in the warmth

abundance 
optimism 
   
early summer in November 


4 November 2022 
November Poetry Contest 
Sponsor Regina McIntosh

Harmless Or Serious

Hurgle-y, Gurgle-y
Gastrointestinal
Silly sounds stomachs make:
Borborgymi!

Reflux and GERD both see
Hyperacidity,
Heartburn and stomach aches:
More Tums for me!

—————

Note to self: Double Dactyl, somewhat akin to a limerick… A dactyl is a three syllable word with the emphasis on the first syllable. 

This one opens with a nonsense double dactyl, then must use a 6 syllable word on line 2, then another double dactyl, closing out with a dactyl + 1.

A second stanza has the same format. The two stanzas are to be related, and their 4th lines should rhyme. 

I'm a little unclear on the naming convention, so I phrased it as something that could be answered by reading the two stanzas

So that’s my first effort, not terribly sure if it was successful...

Boe the Eskimo - Nursery Rhyme - Story

Boe the Eskimo
There is a little Eskimo named Boe
He loves to play on the ice and the snow
One day as he played on the ice, it cracked
Boe, in shock knew the odds against him were stacked.

Along came a kindly turtle called Jack
He said "I'll show the way, climb on my back"
So Boe jumped on board and off the two zoomed
What adventures they had as their friendship bloomed.

Boe saw sea creatures he'd not seen before
Marine plants aglow on the ocean floor
They danced with dolphins who move gracefully 
Twisting and turning to sounds of the sea.

Then they spied large sharks coming at full speed
Both of them were awfully scared indeed
Their two hearts beating alike frenzied drums
Afraid of finishing up in sharks tums.

Suddenly Boe awoke from a dream
Ma and pa rushed in when they'd heard Boe scream
Boe said from now he'd do as he was told
When out playing on ice, he'd not be so bold.
10th April 2021

Nursery Rhyme 4 Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Eve Roper

The Fire Inside of Me

There's a burning flame within me that I've got.
It's quite a sensation that's feels so hot.
There's nothing wrong here; it feels quite right.
It wasn't caused by the enchiladas I ate tonight.
Yes, it feels so good to me without a doubt.
I don't want Pepto Bismol or Tums to put it out.
These flames seem to be going higher and higher.
Altogether, I will tell you it's a different kind of fire.
A passing woman ignited it with all her charms.
I'm not the kind of man who will call in false alarms.

Deck the Hall

balloons! balloons! balloons in colours fly,
white Christmas, glittering snow, bring delight!
soul is singing, heart is bright, hope is high!

Sun peeps orange, peering through, clear blue sky,
lighting up, golden tinsels, floating bright,
balloons! balloons! balloons in colours fly!

cakes, bakes, roasting turkey with sizzling fry,
eager children, rumbling tums, seek a  bite,
soul is singing, heart is bright, hope is high!

little twigs, set alight, make fireplace sigh!
crystal balls, Christmas tree, stream rays of light,
balloons, balloons, balloons in colours fly!

red and white, bottles of wine, jingle dry,
table laid, party set, to go all night!
soul is singing, heart is bright, hope is high!

spread your arms, keep the distance, please do try!
wear your masks, wash your hands, those rules are tight!
balloons, balloons. balloons in colours fly!
soul is singing, heart is bright, hope is high!

1st placement
Deck the hall poetry contest
Written 16/12/2020
Joseph May sponsored
aba, aba, aba, aba, aba, abaa 19 lines
10 syllables each line!

Modern Appetite

Modern Appetite
by Michael R. Burch

"Women, wine, song ..."

It grumbled low, insisting it would feast
on blood and flesh, etcetera, at least
three times a day. With soft lubricious grease

and pale salacious oils, it would ease 
its way through life. Each day—an aperitif.
Each night—a frothy bromide, for relief.

It lived on TV fare, wore pinafores,
slurped sugar-coated gumballs, gobbled S’mores.
When gas ensued, it burped and farted. ’Course,

it thought aloud, my wife will leave me. Whores
are not so damn particular. Divorce
is certainly a settlement, toujours!

A Tums a day will keep the shrink away,
recalcify old bones, keep gas at bay.
If Simon says, etcetera, Mother, may

I have my hit of calcium today?

Keywords/Tags: modern, appetite, supersize, me, indulgence, gluttony, bromide, seltzer, gas, Tums, calcium, quick, cure, tonic, overeating, women, wine, song, America, vanity, society, city, life

Bodega Talk

I empty my basket at the counter.

Six individual cans of strong imported beer.
A plastic bottle of ’Tums’ antacids.
A box of frozen French Bread Pizza.
A jar of jalapeno peppers.

The wiry cute middle-aged blond
checks the items, then checks me out.
I flash my eyebrows, sometimes it works.

Her smile suggests that she knows.
Has seen it all before.

I smile back,
signaling I know that she knows.

“Did you find everything you needed’?

“Yes Debora”.  I see her name tag.

I pick up my plastic bag,
turn to leave
expecting to hear parting words.

Silence,
But in my head
I hear:
‘have a good one’.

A Rattling Rhyme

A RATTLING RHYME

“Few things are more delightful than grandchildren fighting
over your lap.” – Doug Larson (and I add laptop or tablet)

WHISPER SWEET NULLS

Up the steps. Here them roar -
here they come with big smiles.
These two brothers at odds 
in short race to the door.

Their short grandmother tall,
she leans down to give hugs,
but must wait for the bell -
has great ring - what a ball!

Off fly shoes and then socks
And each boy has one thing
on their mind: to be first
to put thumbs to the box.

Other toys left idle.
They’re no match for the fire
of the games that conspire -
That do whisper sweet nulls.

Off they run once again
after filling their tums.
They do tear off their shirts
off to fight - see who reigns.

The old box - it stays cold
for their sight, it is set
on the same old new games
and the ads that are bold.

Their behinds, they are warm
in their grandmother’s chair
and so likely to say
when bell rings, “it’s not fair!”

They are forced to go home.
There are chores; and some odds
and their ends for their school
but no games! That’s not cool.

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