The things I'd resort to
when I thought to please her
I've since been taught not to be
a top of the toothpaste tube squeezer
no longer dog-earing pages
of books I'm reading
and only go slow when driving
no more speeding
but it's all in vain
as nothing gets by
no matter what I do
or how hard I try
as whatever the option
it's always her choice
it's almost as though
I have no voice
yet truly do my very best
but in the end I'm really sunk
so much for best intentions
may as well be a monk
A man of debatable taste
Thought wonders of sticky toothpaste.
Adorning his hair,
Or auto repair,
All based that with paste it was laced.
Sometimes the words come easy
with an instant consent
arranging themselves neatly
that sweet spot in my mind
of no resistance
not nauseas yet
Sometimes the words
are not so agreeable
intent on staying unspeakable
spurting and in a nonsensical surge
But i cannot polish dirt
into crystal
The result:
forced rhymes
syllables in broken time
But the worst
are the words which crawl
when my mind has set to stall
And all i have to show for it:
excessive words that won't fit
Thoughts i can't contain
yet can't explain
Repeating the same thing
(but with different words)
over and over again
Maybe i've been mistaken, then
I'm idle in the brain
and full of empty
Crumpled up poetry
strewn about me like confetti
And at the end of it all
feeling too much exposure
My mind, a tube of toothpaste
folded six times over
Now i'm choking and holding my waist
from the nightly nausea
and chain-smoking aftertaste
Rushing to lock the door,
and head for the store
to buy me some more
goddamn
toothpaste
This seems to be a lifetime journey
I'm sure more than a few can relate
Doing my best in this formidable quest
In search of the perfect toothpaste
From grocery aisles to shopping malls
To mom and pop roadside stands
Standing in line at the 5 and dime
There's no corner that I haven't been
Looking for the flavor to which my teeth savor
From blue to green to red peppermint
I've tried bubblegum and for meat lovers, bacon
Even the new cinnamon no rinse
But it's not only the flavor that's concerning
It also has to do with the foam
While brushing my teeth in the morning
I look like a rabid dog on the roam
So it's back to the store in search of much more
I feel like Frodo Baggins the Hobbit
From top shelf to floor in this my Middle Earth
Until the elusive paste I have got it
Yes, my friend like you I'll keep trying
For the toothpaste that removes any doubt
But until then I'll toss them into the bin
Saved up for the day I caulk my house
Toothpaste words
Squeezed out
With all the vigor of a three year old;
Smeared across
The surface of our marriage-
Abrasive and Burning.
Warning!
Harmful if swallowed.
Killing germs of trust and respect
Fighting calcified love
Results proven. It works.
So keep squeezing the tube.
When it's all washed away,
I will have a fresh breath,
And you'll be holding
Just an empty tube
And the knowledge that
Toothpaste words can never be taken back.
JSC 2004
This is another archive piece, I'm sharing here. It is not current or personal, so comment as you wish.
Squeezed in the middle
Toothpaste force out of tubing
Awaits the toothbrush
You can have it on white or wheat
Add marshmallows or maple syrup for a treat
Any flavor or brand you choose
It comes in green, red, white or blue
I am not talking about Manwich
It is all about a toothpaste sandwich
Put enough on the bread so you get the full flavor
Ask the beer belly man and the toothless woman who live in a converted U haul
trailer
Or ask the blonde bimbo who goes to the extreme
Ask her how she maintains her oral hygiene
Try it once and you will make the switch
No more peanut butter and jelly, just a tasty toothpaste sandwich
Check the back of each tube for the ingredients you prefer
Just remember, upset stomach, vomiting and dehydration may occur
Some like Crest, I like Aim
I guess in a toothpaste sandwich it all tastes the same
Too much will send your head spinning for a loop
Please ask me about my famous recipe for toothpaste soup
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