It looks like a yo-yo
so it should spin round and round
going every which way
when I throw it down
it feels like a yo-yo
so it should whirl to beat the band
it's right here at my fingertips
but it's out of hand
I call him Duncan
and want to see him loop the loop
go round the world walk the dog
rock the baby and do the sleeper too
but he can push a person
past the point of no return
and what will I do then
when will I ever learn
why my yo-yo won't go yo
when I let it go
it drops to the bitter end of the string
but won't come back
or do anything
no it's a bust I just don't know
why my yo-yo won't go yo
Where do I eat? The groom asked his bride.
kitchen table was full of a large cat, Mr. Jeckell ak Hyde
Fat cat gave the honeymooner a sneer and a gentle hiss
The bride rolled her eyes and blew her husband a big kiss
He tried to give her a cuddle, but the cat meowed to beat the band
Now the groom was wondering if he should have given her his hand
She was the ultimate cat mama, and deferred to Hyde every single time
This cat sat in the middle of each meal glaring that “she is mine”.
Think my jollies are starting to return
Told you they wouldn't stay away long
Not those kind of jollies, naughty people
Thought you might get me wrong
You people, you really should be ashamed
What kind of dude d'ya think I am
I'm quite respectable and live a clean life
But in reality it's all just a scam
At times I'll be hanging from the rafters
Overcome by these jollies I enjoy
Dribbling and drooling to beat the band
Talk about jollies, ooooh boy!
Must be careful at this extreme old age
Not as agile as I once used to be
So if you hear a bulletin on the news
Man falls from rafters it's me!
Where do I eat? The groom asked his bride.
kitchen table was full of a large cat, Mr. Jeckell ak Hyde
Fat cat gave the honeymooner a sneer and a gentle hiss
The bride rolled her eyes and blew her husband a big kiss
He tried to give her a cuddle, but the cat meowed to beat the band
Now the groom was wondering if he should have given her his hand
She was the ultimate cat mama, and deferred to Hyde every single time
This cat sat in the middle of each meal glaring that “she is mine”.
A touchy subject to say the least
Have certain thoughts of my own
Still no matter what anyone thinks
How's about we leave reincarnation alone
Once is enough for this old guy
A touchy subject for sure
Retracing my crazy teenage years
Wouldn't want those again to endure
What about my very first job interview
Sweating to beat the band
First, middle, and even my last name
Scribbled on the back of my hand
No thanks, once is surely enough
But if I could just change a couple of things
Marry a sweet young Hollywood starlet
And be able to act and sing
Okay, maybe I'll change my mind
I'm now all for reincarnation
If I had the chance to choose who I am
Love to be a great singing sensation
A touchy subject to say the least
Have certain thoughts of my own
Still no matter what anyone thinks
How's about we leave this subject alone
Think the jollies are starting to return
Told you I wouldn't stay down long
Not those kind of jollies, you naughty people
Thought you might get me wrong
You people, you really should be ashamed
What kind of dude d'ya think I am
I'm quite respectable and live a clean life
But in reality it's all just a scam
Sometimes I'll be hanging from the chandelier
Overcome be these jollies I enjoy
Dribbling and drooling to beat the band
Talk about jollies, ooooh boy!
Must be careful at this extremely old age
Not as agile as I once used to be
So if you happen to hear a bulletin on CNN
Man falls from chandelier, it's me!
AN ARTICLE ON CNN
Think the jollies are starting to return
Told you I wouldn't stay down long
Not those kind of jollies, you naughty people
Thought you might get me wrong
You people, you really should be ashamed
What kind of dude d'ya think I am
I'm quite respectable and live a clean life
But in reality it's all just a scam
Sometimes I'll be hanging from the chandelier
Overcome be these jollies I enjoy
Dribbling and drooling to beat the band
Talk about jollies, ooooh boy!
Must be careful at this extremely old age
Not as agile as I once used to be
So if you happen to see an article on CNN
Man falls from chandelier, it's me!
Marvelous Minnie had a hissy fit and threw her lamp down the stairs.
It hit an elf, a gargoyle, and four children dressed as Goldilocks and the Bears.
They ran up to see what was going on in the Witch’s crazy old mind.
I am sorry, she said. I did not think ahead, this was truly unkind.
And so they forgave her, but the next thing she decided to do….
Was to throw stuff out the window, and a couch landed on two.
They were shrieking and screaming and wailing to beat the band.
I don’t even care, she said. I thought their motives were underhand.
Come on! Her Auntie Feefife said. Give them a break, they turned into curd.
Transmogrify them into something else please, their squawking is rather absurd.
Beautiful, yet so utterly vile!
Congress shut down, hiding, plotting.
The destruction of this country and its President.
Under the glitzy costume of a Virus you came.
Unabashedly shredding the Bill of Rights.
Joyfully, slamming churches and synagogues tight.
You vampires on the Hill~
Destroying the Republic, the lives of its people.
To the great god, Socialism, you plan a building
with a shining gold steeple.
We cannot shake someone's hand?
Yet you unabashedly, tax us cruelly to beat the band!
Some of us not your slaves, not now nor ever will
be.
While you track our movements and words with
unconstitutional, unlawful glee.
April 12, 2020
10pm PST
I bought a bike to beat the band
But found it came with no kickstand
I pedalled around
It fell to the ground
It was two-tired to stand unmanned
Think the jollies are starting to return
Told you I wouldn't stay down long
Not those kind of jollies, you naughty people
Thought you might get me wrong
You people, you really should be ashamed
What kind of dude d'ya think I am
I'm quite respectable and live a clean life
But in reality, it's all just a scam
Sometimes I'll be hanging from the chandelier
Overcome be these jollies I enjoy
Dribbling and drooling to beat the band
Talk about jollies, ooooh boy!
Must be careful at this extremely old age
Not as agile as I once used to be
So if you happen to hear a bulletin on CNN
Man falls from chandelier, it's me!
Spring is here, tra-la, tra-la, my parts are all excited
Whole being is in a state of euphoria as parts were reunited
Screaming to beat the band
Heard from here to Japan
Dear Mother Nature has once again been requited
Yo... how's your freakin' weekend so far
Are you cruisin' along in life's happy sidecar
With a soda in hand
Grinning to beat the band
Singing joyful ditties filling your resevoir
I'd rather be a hillbillie
than a bybillie or blowbillie
to try to be all three, you see
would drive me to insanity.
Hillbillies are fun and fancy free
can run as far as you can see
may be poor, ain’t got no teeth
but that don’t bother’m in the least!
Bybillies are skittishy and shy
seldom stay, always say "goodbye"
they never joke, don't even try
just mumble, complain, whine and cry.
Blowbillies are too puffed up
have big mouths, can’t keep them shut
boast and brag, often disrupt
full of hot air, they up look quite stuffed!
I’d rather be a hillbillie
than a bybillie or blowbillie
and climb the hills and know the land
and laugh and hunt “to beat the band”.
Hillbillies love to dance and sing
know how to play the fiddle and swing
and love to roam the fields in spring
I'd rather be a hillbillie more than anything!
l
He Clapped For Us All
he could clap like it hurt his pink palms,
regarding us with sacred consideration
promises, words, meaningless, bland,
creations for every special occasion,
words waving like proud embattled flags
and he might rub noisy skin on cold hands,
like desiccated snakes in brown paper bags,
before describing some special acquaintance
yes, confabulations will fly to beat the band
and I, a child, supposed he smelled like laundry,
this holy man privy to the grand plan
with his coal tar soap,
black shoes so polished for Sunday
and we will sing like we mean it
sing with a singular
sing in the plural
sing for life, for death
sing against roof and wall
we sing, wise and fool
while he clapped for us all
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