They were hurt, damaged, and destroyed with life's issues
concerning more what it wasn't than it was
guessing upon the if's and the but's
finally, focused on Jesus above
life challenges and changes in due time
realizing the possiblities of life is mine
dreams, as follows goals and seeds, are planed
positive thoughts was in mind
in the due time
all lights so shine.
A room full of need.
Fragments of humanity.
Damaged, seeking, souls,
Looking into the abyss,
Needing help to conquer this.
I can't go back to
This dark room because of hell
Is not a funny place
It's time to leap out from the mist
Let's open a window,
The anxiety makes me itch and the tears
Grasp my legs tightly
I found myself in a dilemma
And really confuse...
This room is not bad, isn't it?
How about heaven?
It's not easy to go...
Purple shades surround the room again
Oh! My eyes...
I can't bear the suspense, it's stuffy in here
''One, two, three...
PLEASE!PLEASE!''
I'm not kidding
Let's say no to this parlor game
It’s like coming to a brick wall.
And you look up and don’t see the ledge.
You look to either sides and don’t see the end.
There’s a way around or over,
But because you don’t see it,
You don’t believe it.
So you stand there.
And just stare at the wall.
You hear life going on just past it.
And people are shouting over to you all the things that are going on…
And “why won’t you just join us”, they wonder.
You walk along, but it still feels endless…
You try to climb over but there’s no place for your footing.
And you think about going back to where you were.
But there’s nothing there.
Just empty space.
Dead air.
Sometimes you think about walking back into the darkness.
Let it swallow you whole.
And you don’t really know what keeps you,
But you don’t.
So you’ve made a home between the darkness and the wall.
But something has to happen.
…and soon.
Because both sides are closing in.
And the last thing you want to do is be caught in the middle when the two meet.
(Part of a 10 piece collection called "The Depression Portraits")
There comes a great darkness
A time full of sad
And nothing makes sense
And the world spins round mad.
I sit all alone
In my world full of dark
And the madness it spins
And my outlook is stark.
The more that it spins
Is the more that I fall
Then I twist and I turn
As my world becomes dull.
And it hurts and I'm scared
As I feel nothing at all
Except the dark grey sadness
Of the depression ball.
I hear all the voices
They scream in my head
You are worthless and nothing
You're better off dead.
I fight and I struggle
To keep it at bay
Every moment becomes darker
As the night ends my day.
I slowly slip down
Into the dark world of mad
And I let it take over
The darkness and the sad.
What causes someone to sink so low
And let an upright spirit to kneel and bow
To the pressures they are unable to undo
Neither can reverse this malady nor subdue?
Let us not someone retreat in the darkest nook
Before we try all the remedies in the book,
Replenish her love and together ardently pray
And shower her with care night and day.
Disheartening it is to see one of our own thus bear
The burden that lays on her heavy and rare;
Hang in there, Linda! Have faith--PERSEVERE,
Forget not who you are--The poet Destroyer!
Wishing you all the best, Linda, and a speedy recovery!
~12/2/14
~Fighting Depression Contest by Shadow Hamilton
Being depressed sucks i sit on my bed crying
thinking I might as well just die sitting on my bed
hearing guys call me ugly worse a witch
out of the blue i felt like getn up for drink
then he comes by and shoves me into a seat
he starts yelling and cussing and saying im
worthless as i sit there in that seat
i wish i was free but when i thought it was over
he comes to kick me. I fell to my kness
pouring blood as i get up i run out of
breath an bleeding from my knees
I then realized they were planing my death
i then came to the conclusion i have
no man on my side.
Life fades away faster
When you just don't feel like yourself
And when you don't know what's going on
And when you're caged within your own cell
When you try to explain
And try to make them understand
That you can't go on
You can't go on living like this
And when you cock back the gun
Placing it in its right position
All you can tell them
Is you were trying to kill the aggression
And they still believe
That is was all in your head
But what does it matter now?
It doesn't, 'cause you're dead
But I
I'm still alive and a mess
I'm growing old
My breath is giving less and less
So while you're free
Free of this misery and pain
I'm still here suffering
Suffering through hell again
When I tried to figure it out
When I tried to explain what went wrong
I guess I wasn't enough
I guess I took too long
And when I tried to be happy
And when I tried to be me
But I couldn't go on pretending
And when I cock back the gun
And place it in its right position
I can only tell you
That I'm trying to kill the depression
Written November 10, 2003
I have heard stories,
passed down through the years,
of the depression,
the hardships, and fears.
My grandmother lived it,
and she never forgot,
those days of hunger,
and the pitiful sights.
She told of the rations,
and how they had to last,
with her five little children,
things went mighty fast.
Winters were cold,
the clothes froze on the line,
no dryers back then,
for drying them in.
Coal for the heater,
in a bucket nearby,
and way before daylight,
she would start feeding the fire.
I really can't imagine,
how hard things were,
but I may get the chance real soon,
it is looking more like a depression, for sure.