Tampons Poems | Examples

Once upon a rhyme'

I was, i was the minister prime.!! And in all of Canada I
Held the lines.' I fished the place for 'all it was worth' and
Kept some millions.' And My yacht is still berthed..yes I'm
Still important..Got the re...I mean ear of carny.'Are you 
Listening bartender.?? You know they say i'm barmy.' And
Look at my triumphs, i ensured there were tampons for
Men.! Yet if you ask me to describe one.?? One second i'll
Open it..Now which is the right end? Well its slim and long
Like a cotton cigar.' Yes I'm great on details! are you still
With me.?? HEY THE BAR.!!!

an amazing find

They found old tampons that were damp
So archeologists at camp
Questioned if terra
Has a named era
For the period of this cramp

Seating Arrangement

*Image of Toilet Issue by Pixabay.

Seating Arrangement

Notice Ladies and Gentlemen:
Please place the toilet seat down when
you're done, Thank You, The Management.
"Don't forget boys," said Evelyn.

The boys expressed their agreement
and routinely bid their consent,
"After you ladies," they stated,
but the girls sounded their dissent.

"Truly fair, reasoned we dated
yet some proof's appreciated,
so go on guys and indulge us,
and both will place as best rated."

First and then the other -- no fuss.
Guys smile at girl's thumbs-up, A+.
"Oh my gosh, where are the tampons!"
"Get some, there's nothing to discuss!"

"We'll be back!" "Who picked this place -- moms?"
They yelled, "Got some!" Piercing caroms
after they agreed to relish
the rest of the night at the proms!

2022 June 04
*1st Place*
Rubaiyat Contest
~~Sotto Poet: Judged 2022 June 13

HMS: 8 syllables per x 20 lines
RZ: RhymeScheme; a,a,b,a - b,b,c,b - c,c,d,c - d,d,e,d - e,e,f,e.

I Watched the News This Morning

I watched the “news” this morning.
Chicken Little ran around squawking
Two women talked amiably after describing
scenes of horrific violence.
A homeless puppy was found
cared for and now needs a “forever” home.
Thousands called in looking to adopt it.
A homeless veteran was stepped over
in the entrance to a shelter
he/she was not cared for or allowed entrance.
Three kittens sang “Jingle Bells”
Chicken Little squawked a bit more
Climate change, global warming yadayada
The weather persons told me of storms
in the Midwest, floods in the south and
high temps in Arizona….
I had to look out my window
to get the weather report here.
The station manager made a Public Service Announcement.
Paraphrased : “If you’d all just do as you’re told
                               everything would be just fine”.

(the commercials were for Erectile disfunction, tampons, 
birth control and condoms….oh….and childrens breakfast cereal))

John G. Lawless
1/4/2022

2021 Marketing

Want to cancel your student loan debt?
Sixth call about it this week.
If I had an outstanding student loan 
it would be fifty years old by now.
I read their texts and roll my eyes.
The next text comes in. 
Want to add two inches to your willy? 
If I did it would be a whopping two inches.
A happy jazzy song about tampons shouts at me from the TV.
Please take me back to the olden days, the fifties and sixties.
When none of this stuff was marketed on TV or on a telephone.

Personalized

there once was
an English chap
that had a car
plate that read
5DODRZ

he stopped in
the medicine
shop and
bought
a box

of tampons for
his eldest but
instead of
one box
they

gave him a lot
he exclaimed
i don't have
that many
bloody

daughters

Room

My room is no place for poetic inspirations
There are no hyacinths in painted vases
No ladybugs sneaking up my toes
Not even a potted plant 
But a bar of soap on a tiny plate
That looks like a block of cheese from afar
Clothes piled high because the closet
Does not have enough space
Plastic bags filled with miscellaneous items
Like tampons and junk mail 
An opened box of instant noodles 
A microwave, TV, and refrigerator 
My room is no place for poetic inspirations
Unless one is keen enough 
To find beauty in the un-beautiful

Busses

Most kids ride the school bus twice a day
School buses don't often have wood stoves
or beds you can sleep the night away
Ours did though

More than once I lived in one 
Some painted like a forest some with a double bunk
I once dreamed I was falling then I landed with a thunk
crying, mom picked me up

After the rat house and after the yurt 
in a grove of trees my sister explained 
about tampons and why she had no dad
 
in the same double storied  cabin 
on top of the bus I later froze one night
because I didn't know there were more blankets 
and my mom was down below. 

I didn't know of any other life beside 
the woods, the school and rising tide
of thought that grew within me, wondering
why I felt so angry of the differences I felt inside

But For the Nervous It Is Much Too Late

Dandruff, menstruation ,acne , scent
Deodorants,shampoo  and strange new thoughts
The anxious adolescent  in torment

Tampons,towels. skin care and defence
Confession, absolution, count for naught
Dandruff, menstruation ,acne , scent

Wet and dry the dreams are wryly bent
We wake confused from what we never sought
The anxious adolescent  in torment

The virtues and the vices must be learnt
The will and the desire cannot be bought
Dandruff, menstruation ,acne , scent

Parents’ words our own strength can augment
But for the nervous, it is much too late
The anxious adolescent,  the torment

“Civilised”. we  might just kiss a date
Until we lose our heads and challenge fate
Dandruff, menstruation ,acne , scent
Poor  adolescent in   this  mad torment

-tea For Two-

A Vampire by the name of Lee
Wanted to make himself some tea.
He searched far and wide,
He hoped he would find inside,
Two used tampons or three…

Texas Debate

Texas Debate

State troopers are taking their tampons
Maxi pads – those that have wings
They’re afraid that some women might toss them
Along with some old girly things
You see congress out there in Texas
Is debating the meaning of life
Abortion and anti-abortion
Protests at the Capital’s rife
They fear for the Congressmen’s safety
They want to disarm violent ones
But Texans you know being Texans
Still allow them to bring in their guns

Uncle Mike

Tachyonic Antitelephone

****! Her choices establish tragedies
The key that fosters felicity long since marred
But now she’s found the freedom she so passionately sought
It was gifted to her as a straight jacket
In the colour of her choice

Every evening she sleeps within such paraphernalia
As the solace pacifies her in classic tones
With the cushioning characterized as a mirror
Emulating the shape she has so flawlessly taken

Two years in the knapsack
And to your very eye I am the poster child
For used condoms and tampons
Am I not worth more than fish?

If I Were a Guy, I'D

If I were a guy…I’d…

Go on a hunt
Learn to punt
Fix my own brakes
Eat rare steaks
Sport long johns
Stomp on tampons
Start bar fights
Ignore red lights
Swing a big axe
Stare at huge racks
Pack a huge luger
Nail a rich cougar!

*For Frank's Contest

Different Dreams

I had different dreams once, but they’re still here;
They’re in the bathroom trash with the tampons and empty cigarette packs,
They’re splattered across the sink with his razor trimmings,
They lay across our bookshelves with the dust.
A hot sun goes down and the snow falls again.
Maybe new dreams settle a  different scene;
A career cluttered on children’s toys,
A family smudged on an old greeting card.
Old dreams pile up, stale and in disrepair.
But there’s something else here;
It’s in the smashed Tupperware we use as dishes,
It’s there when we dance in the kitchen like cheesy TV couples,
It’s in the way he kisses like a child to make me laugh,
It’s our blanket when we love each other, in unique little ways
It’s in knowing that we’re going to fail time and again
and hate and be angry and love even more.
I had different dreams once, but they’re still here

Illusion

Conversations in third person, shaking legs, hands, feet, and fingers.
Diabetes, fish, multiple sclerosis, muscular dystrophy, lupus, cancer, AIDS, Chucky, 
sticks, trains, sunglasses, tampons, menopause, pregnancy, threats, crippleness, 
the end of the world, all of this masked through a nightmarish confusion.
Chemical sprays sprays smelling like cinnamon and perfumes erasing daily 
memories, burning nostrils, concealment, witches, aliens, demons, and monsters in 
agreement.
All folklore and imaginary fantasy. What a mental conclusion. One awakens to find 
that it's just an illusion.

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