I was sitting on the corner, stoned,
When out of the blue, my dead aunt phoned,
How could this be, she rests in peace,
Right beside my loving niece
I answered the phone, and my auntie said,
"I know you think that I am dead,"
"I'm alive"- my auntie moaned,
"Or- could it be that you're just- 'Stoned.'"
My dear auntie, is that really you?!
Let me stop and try to think this through.
I remember I stoned sober cried –
Your funeral can’t be denied.
Yes, I’m sure of it, there’s no mistake,
Perhaps you're some deep AI fake.
Trying to scam me from my dough --
Say something only we would know.
“Remember that night you had the munchies,
And chowed down on those blue pill crunchies.
Turned out they were late Uncle Fred’s
Stash of blue-chew ED meds.”
[Charles, back to you, if you get the gist
of where to go with this plot twist.
Suggest you keep it apropos.
It’s up to you. Where you will go?]
Submitted July 7, 2026 for The Stoner Collaboration Poetry contest sponsored by Charles Messina
I was sitting on the corner, stoned
When out of the blue, my dead aunt phoned
How could this be, she rests in peace
Right beside my loving niece
I answered the phone, and my auntie said
“I know you think that I am dead”
“I’m alive”-my auntie moaned
Or-could it be that you’re just-“Stoned”
I blinked real hard and checked my face,
Then asked, “Auntie, how’d you call this place?”
She said, “Boy, hush, don’t question grace,
They finally got Wi-Fi in this place.”
“But Heaven’s strict, the rules are known,
No matches, papers, pipes, or cones.
So if you love me, don’t ask why-
just pass a cloud up to the sky.”
The Stoner
I was sitting on the corner, stoned
When out of the blue, my dead aunt phoned
How could this be, she rests in peace
Right beside my loving niece
I answered the phone, and my auntie said
"I know you think that I am dead"
"I'm alive"- my auntie moaned
Or- could it be that you're just- "Stoned"
I pulled in my head and turned around.
You will never guess what I found.
Her dog was sitting next to me stiff and dead,
I felt by now something is messing with my head.
Staring at me the dog asked for a drink.
I suggested water, and what do you think?
Strange howling noises it was making.
The dog said "Ill have whatever you are taking."
I was sitting on the corner, stoned
When out of the blue, my dead aunt phoned
How could this be, she rests in peace
Right beside my loving niece
I answered the phone, and my auntie said
"I know you think that I am dead"
"I'm alive"- my auntie moaned
Or- could it be that you're just- "Stoned"
Copyright © Charles Messina | Year Posted 2026
Wondering what I should do next,
I sent my uncle Fred a text,
Telling him that his late wife
Had called me from the afterlife.
Uncle Fred, still racked with grief,
Kept his reply to me quite brief.
“Dear nephew, my advice is this;
Please lay off the cannabis!”
I was sitting on the corner, stoned
When out of the blue, my dead aunt phoned
How could this be, she rests in peace
Right beside my loving niece
I answered the phone, and my auntie said
"I know you think that I am dead"
"I'm alive"- my auntie moaned
Or- could it be that you're just- "Stoned"
“Sorry Aunt, I made a mistake,
It wasn’t you it was uncle Jake.
I must admit I’m a little high,
I cannot walk but I can fly.
I’m with my ganja friends, we’re all blotto.
Here’s Bob Marley, he says “Hello”.
They’re in a rush coz they are late
Any time now they’ll close the Pearly Gate.”
Collaboration poem: last two stanzas are mine.
(2nd Place in Charles Messina's The Stoner Collaboration Poetry Contest)
I was sitting on the corner, stoned
When out of the blue, my dead aunt phoned
How could this be, she rests in peace
Right beside my loving niece.
I answered the phone, and my auntie said
“ I know you think that I am dead. “
“ I am alive” - my auntie moaned
Or Could it be that you are just - “Stoned “
.
I was bewildered in illusion
Was it my hallucination ?
Both were killed in car accident -
I never forgot that event.
I was stunned ! In surprise, I found
the graveyard all around.
Starting my journey from the womb,
reached last destination to tomb.
(first two stanzas are from Charles Messina)
I was sitting on the corner, stoned
When out of the blue, my dead aunt phoned
How could this be, she rests in peace
Right beside my loving niece
I answered the phone, and my auntie said
"I know you think that I am dead"
"I'm alive"- my auntie moaned
Or- could it be that you're just- "Stoned"
(These two stanzas are mine)
And then I heard my niece’s sweet voice
say, “Heaven’s a wonderful place to rejoice.
She crooned a Willie Nelson tune,
then chuckled: “Dude, we’ll see ya soon.”
Couch lock had got me; I couldn’t move.
I wanted to be back in the groove.
No munchies around! Things were all wrong.
Why did I use that stupid bong?
Note: Should I be fortunate enough to win, I give permission for the use of either one or both of my stanzas to be used by Charles Messina , even in reverse order if that were to work better
I was sitting on the corner, stoned
When out of the blue, my dead aunt phoned
How could this be, she rests in peace
Right beside my loving niece
I answered the phone, and my auntie said
"I know you think that I am dead"
"I'm alive"- my auntie moaned
Or- could it be that you're just- "Stoned"
I thought maybe she didn't really die
Looked up to pink elephants in the sky
People passing me by were in the nude
Well, each to their own cos I'm no prude.
Thought I'd join them and stripped off
Took hold of a bush and tried to boff
Then I heard sirens, their distinctive wail
Cop grabbed me saying "For you it's jail”.
I was sitting on the corner, stoned
When out of the blue, my dead aunt phoned
How could this be, she rests in peace
Right beside my loving niece
I answered the phone, and my auntie said
"I know you think that I am dead"
"I'm alive"- my auntie moaned
Or- could it be that you're just- "Stoned"
In my dingy room where shadows creep
I heard my phone once more beep
“Am I under a horrendous delusion
Or is auntie’s voice a mere illusion?”
Memories arose and tortured my head
Auntie had warned ere she was dead,
Of the devastating risk of using hemp.
I sat stupefied feeling in my throat a lump.
Charles Messina's poem :
I was sitting on the corner, stoned
When out of the blue, my dead aunt phoned
How could this be, she rests in peace
Right beside my loving niece
I answered the phone, and my auntie said
"I know you think that I am dead"
"I'm alive"- my auntie moaned
Or- could it be that you're just- "Stoned"
My poem :
"Don’t be scared” she said in a voice low,
“if I cuddle you as I did a long time ago.
You hear me now on your smoky phone,
I’ll come to be with you when you’re alone."
I stroked my clouded eyes as the space spun,
away from the misty room I wanted to run.
I stuttered “Maybe you’re alive, you’re right”
as her voice dissolved into the stoner’s night.
I was sitting on the corner, stoned
When out of the blue, my dead aunt phoned
How could this be, she rests in peace
Right beside my loving niece
I answered the phone, and my auntie said
"I know you think that i am dead"
"I'm alive"- my auntie moaned
Or -could it be that you're just-"Stoned"
Well I invite my auntie over
Thinking all this time she's rolling in the clover
And wouldn't you know,
A little blonde knocked on my door named Snow
She tried to pass off my aunties old license
But boy she looked more like Mike Tyson,
Then my dear belated aunt Flo
So all in all i told her she had to go!
I was sitting on the corner, stoned
When out of the blue, my dead aunt phoned
How could this be, she rests in peace
Right beside my loving niece
I answered the phone, and my auntie said
"I know you think that I am dead"
"I'm alive"- my auntie moaned
Or- could it be that you're just- "Stoned"
I laughed in the phone, said “I know,
you like to haunt me wherever I go,
you may have died and lost a lung
but continue with your sharp tongue”
My aunt is still trying to make a point,
she never liked to see me smoke a joint.
She’s always was a Budweiser beer girl,
maybe I’ll stop grass and give Bud a whirl!
Written: June 11, 2026, for a contest sponsored by Charles Messina
*******************
The Stoner
I was sitting on the corner, stoned
When out of the blue, my dead aunt phoned
How could this be, she rests in peace
Right beside my loving niece
I answered the phone, and my auntie said
"I know you think that I am dead"
"I'm alive"- my auntie moaned
Or- could it be that you're just- "Stoned"
******************************************************
In a thunderhead, she floated, frail as smoke,
"Grandpa's humor struck like lightning's stroke,"
Thru the tangled wire, heaven rose, vast and deep,
"While restless angels stole the sleep I used to keep."
Then lightning struck along the wire,
my heart ignited, ablaze in fire.
She whispered, "that is only your brain,
tumbling wildly in the acid rain."
I was sitting on the corner, stoned
When out of the blue, my dead aunt phoned
How could this be, she rests in peace
Right beside my loving niece.
I answered the phone, and my auntie said
"I know you think that I am dead"
"I'm alive"- my auntie moaned
Or- could it be that your just- "Stoned"
But no before my very eyes
Her face appeared, I tell no lies
She reached for me- said- "G'day mate
It's fun to just hallucinate."
To clear my mind I shook my head
This can't be true- my aunt is dead
I saw her slowly disappear
This stuff I smoked was some strong 'gear.'
I was sitting on the corner, stoned
When out of the blue, my dead aunt phoned
How could this be, she rests in peace
Right beside my loving niece
I answered the phone, and my auntie said
"I know you think that I am dead"
"I'm alive"- my auntie moaned
Or- could it be that you're just- "Stoned"
I smiled and said, "Auntie, you know me well
but this world has become a living Hell
where evil thrives in almost every place
and there are memories that I cannot face"
"You are buried and from life you are free
If you're alive, I don't envy your immortality
Auntie, if you can hear me, stay in your grave
I survive by being a stoner, an addicted slave."
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