“We must feel glad that, for the moment, the kea has been saved to amuse us, surprise us, even annoy us and damage our property, and cheekily remind us that land was not made just for the benefit of the human race.”
– Authors Rod Morris and Hal Smith on the kea
------------------------------------------------
Endemic to New Zealand
Omnivores in harsh alpines
Smart, playful, curious bird
Parrot species endangered Kea
Delightfully curious, clever learner
Lover of new things
Waitaha gave them name
‘Guardians of the mountains’
Flying emeralds, camouflage wild
Ground nesting social lives
Vulnerable to ground predators
Stoats, possums, feral cats
Wires, power lines, cars,
Chocolate, wrappers, plastic, rubbish,
Lead, Timms traps, baits
Wrongfully persecuted Nestor notabilis
Lucy lisps, Lucy lisps
Lucy's tongue is in a twist
Saucy Susie sang a song
Silly Susie sang it wrong
Slinky slimy slippery snakes
Hisses kisses to their mates
Stoats stay stoic on the sand
While Willy Wagtail forms a band
Bandicoots break into a simple song
Cos Saucy Susie sang all wrong
Still standing silently in shifting sand
Sarcastic Willy said "Ain't this grand
Someone here sure is silly
And I will tell you something it's not this Willy"
Ding, Dang Dong and Bong, Bam Bing
The band was good, who would sing?
Lucy lisps, Lucy lisps
Said "I'll give it a go, can you play Let's Twist"
PS
So to add to this Lucy lisps The Twist
Then they all recalled
They did it all without a drummer
Last summer
Compliments of Chubby Checker
When the green snout is full
rabbits spill on the lawn.
I worry night and day,
because the stoats and the Red Tails
are at work
even in whelm and nimiety
they hack and harrow.
The young kits are many,
the sun too bright.
Foragers forgo fear,
are palpable and open,
not just
the long-eared nibblers,
the hairs on many scutters
are laid bare,
the sniffers thrive,
are prone to be pounced upon;
their thin pelts all unhidden,
and being many,
and not running,
they are huddled.
If this spill will not ease.
If the grabbers not falter,
the singled-out dither,
the glut not wither,
then the green snake
will climb a way
to the nestlings hutch;
all so easily found
and quickly snatched.
I worry for
the small brown birds,
their mottled shells
still unhatched.
In this gorge and sate;
I fret for all this new life
that has arrived too late.
were in an oot eh aw the pubs
sent looking for my da.
i hope we find him soon
coz wait tae u see my ma.
shes gawn mental shouting an bawling
coz theres nothing tae eat.
shes pacing aroon the room
shes stamping her feet.
shes looking oot the windey
coz she hears um singing
coming up the street.
shes raging an a hink shes gonna greet.
there ma da stoats in way a massive grin
aw stop aw that moaning
will yeh big yin.
were in an oot eh aw the pubs
sent looking for my da.
i hope we find him soon
coz wait tae u see my ma.
shes gawn mental shouting an bawling
coz theres nothing tae eat.
shes pacing aroon the room
shes stamping her feet.
shes looking oot the windey
coz she hears um singing
coming up the street.
shes raging an a hink shes gonna greet.
there ma da stoats in way a massive grin
aw stop aw that moaning
will yeh big yin.
Nae dinner again
Ah heard my ma saying
Wit am ah gonna
Gee the blimming wains
We're staving ma the wains wid say
Shut yer mouths
Ave been trying to tap aw day .
Then in it stoats all drunk and insane
Dus ny even care about the stait eh his wains
My maw she's gone mental
Shouting we'res ma dosh
Don't you even care ya bass
They wains have had nae nosh
All slumped in his chair
He's drunk n doesn't care
Wen he wakes up
He'll even want mare.
HAIKU
~~~~~~~~
moorland... wilderness...
attired in artic whiteness...
stoats in ermine coats...
~~~~~~~~~
2/28/18
Haiku poetry contest sponsored by Deborah Beachboard
WINTER SERIES
~~~~~~~~~~~
winter beauty
belies danger... all take heed
snow can kill
moonlit snow... behold
mountain hare's... shadows feeding
ermine coated stoats
winter ptarmigan...
shadows that move up hills
white fauna hiding
snow buntings... confounders
white through spring and summer times
there is always one
Bevy of swans in a sea-fowl cloud,
starling mumuration,whispering aloud.
Wray of quail,where teal spring,
tiding of magpie,as larks nesting, cling.
Nightingale watch a hover of crows,
herd of wrens,hosting sparrows.
Flight of doves,lapwing deceit,
charm of finches,swallows sweet.
Kindle of kittens,knot of toads,
a yoke of oxen shed their load.
Den of snakes,skulk with fox,
shires stabled and boxed.
Business of ferrets,labour with moles,
span of mules in a string of foals.
Harrass of horse,husk of hares,
rake of colts with a stud of mares.
Drove of cattle,with a tribe of goats,
downs of sheep,pack of stoats.
Spider cluster in a thatch,
brood of game,hatched,matched
and despatched.
Wur in RE an the nuns are gien
oot sweeties, fur getting the kweschins right.
Three oota three, then she’s askin mae who Jesus’ mither is.
‘Ah doan’t know sista,’ ah tell hur.
She isnae happy an tells mae tae hink aboot it. So ah dae
an ah wurk oot Jesus wis god. It wis a trick kweschin,
‘he didnae hiv ah mither.’ Ma
sweet stoats aff the side ae ma heid.
She’s spittin in ma coupon fur a name, an
diggin hur digits in ma neck.
‘Ah doan’t know who Jesus’ friggin mither wis!’
Miraculously ah float tae the front ae the cless. Ma haun’s oot,
bit ah doan’t hink shill hit mae wae that big stick. Thwack!
Ah look doon it the bloody gash through ma puddlin
eyes, ‘yoo’ve broke ma haun’ ah croak,
then turn roon an boak.
Autumn arrives as dark nights draw in,
Changing the landscape from Summer's green trim
In shades of gold, red and purple brown,
Falling leaves dying on sodden ground
Freshly bedecked in shades of golden hues
and flame flaring reds of one's and two's
Her hazel curls assume autumnal tones,
Wind lashed by whirling dropped pine cones,
Dishevelled, she shelters against damp blackened walls
As her tattered patchwork apparel about her falls
Nearby a leaf choked fountain no longer spurts
As squirrels and stoats hide in her skirts
Gathering her wayward children and twig sculptured pet
She scurries across harvested fields,
maternally driven and feeling bereft.
The sneaky, slinky weasel
Is weaselly recognised …
But stoats are stoatily different …
They’re ermine in disguise!
Deep down in the Wild Wood
An empyty mansion stood-
Stoats & weasels squatted there for nowt,
Ratty,Mole & Badger with a loud shout
Helped careless Toad to kick them out.
Bevy of swans in a sea-fowl cloud,
starling mumuration,whispering aloud.
Wray of quail,where teal spring,
tiding of magpie,as larks nesting, cling.
Nightingale watch a hover of crows,
herd of wrens,hosting sparrows.
Flight of doves,lapwing deceit,
charm of finches,swallows sweet.
Kindle of kittens,knot of toads,
a yoke of oxen shed their load.
Den of snakes,skulk with fox,
shires stabled and boxed.
Business of ferrets,labour with moles,
span of mules in a string of foals.
Harrass of horse,husk of hares,
rake of colts with a stud of mares.
Drove of cattle,with a tribe of goats,
downs of sheep,pack of stoats.
Spider cluster in a thatch,
brood of game,hatched,matched
and despatched.
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