Stan was smoking hemp
Thought he was a pimp
He yelled where’s my money
Estelle yelled you funny
Shot then robbed the simp
There once was a man named Stan
Who used to live in Japan
He ate a dish
Of puffer fish
And spent all day on the can.
But Stan is my bestie, little jack argued that day.
Your whole goal in life, son, is to keep crows away.
But he makes my life complete, his humor is the best.
Could you try not being friends for one day, for a test?
No, said Little Jack. I would rather not be a scarecrow.
Stan is my bestie, he knows when I am ready to blow.
He keeps me calm, listens to me and teaches me stuff.
Like what? Asked the father, his attitude in a huff.
He says to be good to my mom and my dad.
Jack’s father got quiet. This did not sound very bad.
And he says to help you around the field if I can.
His father suddenly liked Jack's bestie crow named Stan.
There once was a merchant called Stan.
Sold lotion to girl and to man.
He was nice, not rude,
but the beach was nude.
He admired bronzed, lineless tan!
Stan is a big burly man
He was stuck on the can
Man’s best friend also a jerk
Petty pup fluffy prankster
With jaws dog stole his pants
Said Stan to sweet farmer Sue
I like this thing that you do
That bumpy ride
Sure saved my hide
And that’s real fine howdy do!
Farmer Sue drove up on her tractor
Told Stan I’ll be your extractor
Hooked up to the Chevy
Dragged it atop the levy
For payment Stan quickly smacked her!
Stan gazed at the muck in despair
And ran muddy fingers through his hair
Said I’ll rescue the Chevy
Drag it atop of the levy
Certain it'll be dry up there!
Stan left his van out of gear,
Then to his surprise and fear,
The van started to roll
Toward a great muddy hole,
Where Stan watched his van disappear.
Stan was running low on gas,
And as usual driving too fast.
He blew by the station,
Clueless to the situation,
Now he's empty and stuck in the grass.
Stan’s Chevy van had a flat.
"Where is the damn spare at?"
Stan cursed at the tire,
Letting loose his ire.
Poor Stan and his van had a spat.
Stan’s Chevy van was a seventy-two.
Wanted a red one, got stuck with blue.
Offered Sue a quick spin.
Sue refused to get in.
Now poor Stan has just one thing to do...
Stan the man always had a great plan,
'Til he got snockered while driving his van.
The coppers showed up,
Saw Stan had hit the cup,
And sent him off for a week in the can!
S traight from the start.'
T rue blue allways for you
A ustralia allways in his heart.'
N ever one to turn his back.'
C oster known, the country round'
On that guitar, he strummed town to town
S ure supportive of ANZACS all..'
T reasure of so many, in outback halls
E very venue he played out his heart
R ecognised as an asset; Aussies value his art.!
All those in love please raise your hands
Holy crap that's amazing more than I'd planned
Who woulda guessed
Every poet and yes
Love's taking over or my name ain't Stan
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